The Agony Aunt Thread

Andrew_Ryan_89

Hey guys, instead of creating a whole new thread I thought it could be a decent idea to have a thread for small questions and opinions.

I just wanted to know whether I was in the wrong about something. My girlfriend and I are not the best sleepers. I have trouble falling to sleep and my girlfriend won't feel too good if she does not go to bed early. Recently I have started snoring for some reason. My girlfriend will constantly wake me up when I snore as she says it wakes her up and she can't sleep. Yesterday it got ridiculous. It felt like every 20 minutes as I was drifting off she will shake me and wake me up. This happened at least 15 times yesterday and I woke up feeling so bad.

I spoke to her about this and it caused a little argument. I mentioned the fact that she -

1. Goes to bed very early which means I have to go bed early too and then can't sleep because I am not tired
2. Constantly wakes up and numerous times in the night to go to the toilet waking me up
3. Has bad nightmares and turns on the light in the middle of the night waking me up
4. Sleeps in the middle of the bed pushing me to the very end

In all these situations I try to talk to her and or deal with it. Never do I disturb her in her sleep especially knowing she won't feel good in the morning. I don't know how bad my snoring is but the fact she feels no way to constantly wake me up the second I snore instead of trying to go to sleep with the snoring. Also. I am even more upset that when I try to speak to her about it, I am essentially ignored, dismissed and the behavior continues.

EDIT: I think it will be a good idea if anyone has a new question that they type in bold.

Andypandyboy

Why do you have to go to bed at the same time as her if you are not tired?

tea_lover

So you're interfering with the sleep of a pregnant woman and looking for back-up?

hollydays

Go to the doctor to get your snoring investigated.

marliepanda

In this situation, surely the best idea is separate bedrooms (if your property allows for it)

Neither of you are getting any comfort or enjoyment from sleeping in the same bed.

Guest101

I thought OP was married??

beckysbobbles1

Have I missed the pregnant part?? Either way I think you both need to learn to compromise.


Why do you need to go to bed at the same time? It might even be better to go to be later, that way your girlfriend will hopefully be asleep fully by the time you get into bed and start snoring.


There's lots of things you can do to help the snoring. Don't sleep on your back, try nasal sprays and even bands that go on your wrist to help stop snoring. Also your girlfriend could wear earplugs.


I think the main issue here is not the snoring but the lack of communication between each other. You might be talking but it doesn't sound like each other is listening.


There are lots of different solutions here, just try working through them together.

.Gigolo_Aunt

I think this harks back to the thread where you said you weigh 20 stone! Try losing some weight, it may well help with the snoring.

fairy_lights

Have you tried nasal strips to help with the snoring? Or considered losing some weight?
Your pregnant girlfriend needing to pee is hardly her fault so I don't know why you'd bring that in to your argument.

GBNI

Worth seeing the doctor about your snoring. OH and I often sleep in separate rooms due to his snoring.

suki1964

Is your wife not concerned about you sleeping with the girlfriend?

Why do you need to go to bed the same time as anybody? You are not a child, you decide your own bed time

My husband sleeps in the middle of the bed, nicks my pillow, blah blah, we just bought a super kingsize so I've still got room

You will have more problems as your wife gets bigger further along the pregnancy so get a bigger bed now or twin beds

Oh and losing the weight will help with the snoring. A sleep mask will help with the light when she's having to switch the lamp on