Money Moral Dilemma: Should we increase our son's pocket money?

lisa110rry

My son got his first job at ten. Yes, ten. It was a weekly paper round of the free newspaper delivering in our village. I walked the round with him every week (and of course the round was in my name), walking up to every door. At Christmas some of the householders gave him a tip, the look on his face was priceless.

At thirteen, he got a job working in the local greenhouses, picking tomatoes in the summer hols. At sixteen he got a summer job in the Spar shop. The jobs taught him that hard work at school makes it possible to get a better job than those.

He was a boarder at school, so he did not work in term time as he would not have been allowed to and in any case, prep ended at 9pm.

I think in the OP's case I would insist on perhaps a weekly paper round only, which would not take much time, and hard work at the books. Then at sixteen a summer job.

Bellisima

I never got pocket money as such, but then I am very old and times were different! I do feel some children today are so spoilt. My parents bought us the necessities - clothes and food - and occasionally some money for sweets. We weren't poor, but my parents grew up very poor in Italy, and as a result they were very careful with money. Us kids didn't ask for extras as we knew we wouldn't get them. My brother got a job after school at 14 in a local cafe. I left school at 16 and went straight into a full time office job. We bought our own first cars, our own clothes and paid for a phone to be installed (dad wouldn't contribute even though he used it!) and we paid for our keep. I know times have changed, but we learnt to stand on our own two feet, and not rely on our parents all the time.

gloriouslyhappy

We never got paid for doing chores, we were expected to make our own beds, clean our rooms, do the washing up and clean the bathroom after ourselves, as soon as we were old enough. We got small amounts of pocket money and were encouraged to find part time jobs, again as soon as we were old enough. If we saved some of our pocket money or wages, then occasionally our parents would ask to see our post office savings books, and pop in a small bonus. Those with tiny balances and frequent withdrawals were given much less of a bonus than those who saved or made large one-off withdrawals for a special project eg new tennis racquet.

We all got good grades and ended up with decent jobs and an excellent work ethic. None of us has landed in debt apart from one sibling being fleeced by an ex, but that's life, just unlucky in the choice of partner, nothing to do with parenting or upbringing!

In the case of this boy, he will need a break from studies anyway, so why not find a small job for one or two days, and have time with his friends as well when not studying or helping round the house. Busy people are better all rounders, good at scheduling, organising and managing which are all skills employers look for. If he's underage, he can always mow lawns, clip hedges or wash cars - in my neighbourhood, there are two enterprising lads who put up signs listing what they can do and their fees, and they're always in demand because they're friendly, reliable and do a good job at reasonable rates.

Whatever you decide, don't just give him extra money without conditions, he needs to learn the value of things and this is one of the best skills you can give him.

Caroline_a

Ah that old "Everybody's Mother/Father/Parents" Those paragons who give their children everything, let them out until all hours, days, nights etc. Total rubbish, kids have been trying this on since Year Dot.

What does your son want the money for? If he's that desperate for it I'm sure he could spare a few hours a week for a part time job. All my kids worked, the oldest from 13 - it gave them independence and also taught them budgeting. Somehow it's a better lesson to apportion money that has been earned not given!

iainrt

if he's studying hard for his exams, what does he need the extra pocket money for ?

meknowalot-51

If he was revising every evening that you could witness and not locked in his room on his laptop,then maybe he may have a point.What about weekends?revising all day saturday and sunday is he?His idea of revising hard might be one hour every other night.What i would do is monitor him and for every hour you witness revision give him a pound at a set day every week.He could get £16 off you at weekends or at least double getting a partime job and tons of work experiance.Negotiation is the answer,money for nothing is not,if he earns it then it's less likely to be wasted.One day i'm sure he's going to thank you both.

Marvel1

If he decides to go to college and uni, how is he going to cope with money? Stand firm and say no.

Maggie

We live rural, so there was little chance of a job- long day at school with the travelling and homework. Little opportunity- no shop so no paper round opportunity
Our boys had grades from school every 6 weeks- reporting effort and acheivement. They got £5.00 per A. It could be expensive but taught that hard work and effort resulted in financial return. They also got good GCSE results. Both also had a fair amount of savings when they went to Uni as well!

Andrew_Ryan_89

If he wants more, get him to work for it. I am sure there are dishes that need washing, carpet cleaning or garden that needs mowing.

newgirly

It might help to get a rough idea of the usual going rate? I have 16 yr old twins and they get £20 each per month and the same from my parents. They buy their own snacks etc. at college with that and occassionally work at our family business at weekends, I very rarely buy anything but food/college essentials, if they want something that's more expensive ie. New football shirt etc. they get it for birthday /Xmas.

My dd is 19 and tried for ages to get a job with not much luck so volunteered at various places which helped her cv, she also got the same amount as they boys do now. I don't think it does them any favours to hand them money on a plate, a job doesn't have to impact studies - it's just hard finding one that fits around school etc.

There is always the option of car washing / selling on eBay etc. To Some employers seeing a work ethic whether paid or not is a huge plus point, the competition is higher than ever so it's not always about having the best grades, it's the whole package.


Whatever you decide though don't base it on what other parents (supposedly ) do , you are on a hiding to nothing when you do that