Money Moral Dilemma: Should we increase our son's pocket money?

lika_86

As he's under 16 he may struggle to find a part-time job that would have him. At least until he's 16 I'd increase what he gets (if you can).

EvianBackwardsIsNaive

I don't have kids myself (yet) so I'm not talking from experience, just what I think I would do.

Rather than trying to offer rewards for attaining certain grades (which I don't believe works well in life in general, because it ALWAYS wears off and is not a true motivator) I think I will offer my kids the opportunity to increase their pocket money (up to a max weekly limit) based on how much of it they are saving rather than spending.

This might be a dumb idea, as I've not thought about it in too much detail (No need to right now) but I figure if they are saving it rather than "wasting" it on junk then I could reward that with a larger weekly amount - When they stop saving or drop below a certain % being saved on average then their weekly allowance gets dropped back down to the starting point.

Like I say, maybe a stupid idea but I am definitely going to be trying to make my kids savers rather than spenders and this is one way I've always thought I'd encourage it. I'm hoping saving can be as addictive as spending was for me when I was younger (and stupid)

When I was younger I got into trouble with debts and I'm still paying for it in some ways now - I am one of the "lucky" ones who has ended up in a flexible job with a nice annual salary and my partner makes a decent wage too so I don't really need to rely on my poor (but improving) credit score as much as others might and am able to live within my means whilst paying off any remaining bad debt.

My problem was becoming addicted to having meaningless things that my younger self thought were important, but if I'd been encourage more to save I might have got hooked on this instead - I must say that as I get older and am able to save more of my salary it is quite addictive to try and live frugally and save up larger and larger amounts where possible.

So maybe this could work with kids pocket money, where as long as they maintain a saving target they get a bonus on top, the longer they save the bigger the bonus grows (up to a limit where it sits for as long as they maintain the target)

kazwookie

First I'd check with other parent what they actually give their children.

Kids have a way of expanding on this, so not to seem the odd one out, and expand on money etc

janiebquick

If he is working hard for his GCSEs, then you should not force him to work, although you could pay him to do little jobs about the house.

charis18uk

I am in exactly the same situation as you as it happens.

My son is in year 11 studying for GCSEs.

I have been giving him £5 a week in pocket money but covered activities such as visits to the local indoor skatepark and occassional money for sweets etc.

I have found that my purse seemed to always be open and I was not really keeping track of what I was giving him. Equally I also feel he was getting no idea of budgeting etc with me dealing with things on an adhoc basis.

A post above highlights correctly that 15yr olds will struggle to find part time work as the minimum age is usually 16yrs.

I actually would not want my son to be working during this important year but I still want him to feel like he is earning his money.

Given that my son goes to school 0830-1600 each day (including travel) he has less free time on his hands than myself who works 3 days a week. I see school as his 'work'.

As school is his work and I want him to remain focused on his GCSE's I am introducing a 'pay by results' or 'performance related pay'. I am directly linking his GCSE work and school commitements to his pocket money.

My son does struggle to stay motivated at school and often gets pulled up for not doing homework. We have also had issues with lateness.

I have decided to give him a base rate of pocket money and then this is enhanced by maintaining performance at school. Being on time, completing homework and other targeted goals all attracting uplifts to his pocket money.

In addition (as it is a large increase) my purse will now be closed. I have also decided that online purchases will be limited to 10% (he likes to buy xbox points) and that I will oversee his management of his money.

We are using the 'gohenry' childrens prepaid card to teach him about the 'electronic' nature of cash in the adult world and pocket money will be paid directly on to that.

I am also considering a minimum savings amount too.

If this increase teaches him something about budgeting or it helps him focus on his GCSEs and he comes out with good grades, it is money well spent in my opinion.

kimono_2

Definitely encourage him to get a part time job! I had jobs since I was 13 which didn't affect my school work at all, starting with a paper round just 1 day after school, then a cleaning job from 8-10am on weekends at a golf club, then I took some extra waitressing shifts at the golf club later on.

Honestly, I don't believe that GCSEs are so time-consuming that he can't get a job at all. When you say 'part time job' he might be thinking of shifts at McDonalds that take up all his weekends, or having to work till 9pm every day after school... but just a Saturday morning cafe shift or a paper round twice a week will leave him plenty of time for schoolwork and socialising, as well as a couple of extra quid in his pocket!

Elisecas

Being 20 years older than my youngest sibling, he always came to me when trying to work out how to get the parentals to give him something he wanted. I basically taught him the art of negotiation, and suggest you do the same. Give and take is what it is all about.

You obviously don't want to give him extra money but he wants it. You clearly think he should get a part-time job (no bad thing, I personally think getting a part time gig is a good thing, if it doesn't disrupt studies and recovery time) but he does not.

There is always a compromise, so what is it here? Maybe it's that you will give him extra during term time, on the basis he gets a holiday job in the summer for at least X hours a week. Or maybe its set out that he needs to get a Saturday job next year or.. What would work for you?

Personally speaking, i think the pressure on GCSEs is phenomenally greater than when we sat exams; on the other hand I think there is great merit in earning a little money for yourself by the time you get to 15 or 16.

I also have seen from experience that those with no work experience can suffer more than one might expect at the end of their education: when I was little my parents had zilch so the older siblings had jobs, washed cars, babysat and all that. The youngest got an allowance and didn't earn a penny of his own before graduation: it took him a year to get a job and then he was stuck in something really low paying until he pulled his finger out and made use of his expensive education. And it wasn't really his fault: I'd been telling my parents for years that when you give a kid everything they don't realise they need to work to get anything at all. Turns out I was right. Makes a change I suppose!

ripongrammargirl

NO, No, No! If your son wants extra money tell him to go out and earn it. At nearly 16 and revising for GCSE's (2nd year they had been done in 1989) I was delivering newspapers twice a week and working every Saturday in a supermarket restaurant from 7.30am-6pm. There is absolutely no excuse not to work and learn simultaneously, as this will be excellent experience for the future workplace when people have to juggle so much. Its all too easy to go to the bank of mum and dad who just roll over and give in to demands. What happened to parenting? Why do children just demand everything now and parents have given in to their greed for "fear of what might be said"? This is not parenting and is harming children by letting them be in charge of everything, with no boundaries or consequences imposed. The consequence here is he learns to organise himself with study and a job or he gets no money. I would love my parents to give me money each week for doing nothing because I demanded it, saying my sister earns more than me. It ain't going to happen. I am my own person and have to earn my own money. Stop giving in to this child (and all greedy kids), give them the life lessons they need to survive and say if you want money go out and earn it yourself.......
but the OP won't because kids rule the world now as stupid parents in situations like this have allowed it to happen, and the consequence is this nation has bred a generation or two of whinging, illiterate, stupid children who thinks everything is rosy and comes easy just because they stamp their foot (like Verruca Salt) and say "I want":mad:

joehoover

You are primed to teach an important lesson in life, that his friends may end up earning more than him too, cue a thousand previous dilemmas about not earning enough and expected to pay the same for a wedding gift etc etc

Who didn't have part time jobs when they were young, many of us had no choice as our parents couldn't afford pocket money (so they said) but I've always grown up with a work ethic seeing how hard my parents worked to support us. Ended up learning how to cook as they were in late from working and got fed up with oven ready meals. Learning to fend for myself was great skill to obtain and I wouldn't have it any other way. I know rich kids who cannot even manage their travelcards without losing them every few days and losing mobile phones and having no skills to do anything for themselves as they've always been given money had things done for them and not had to sort out the consequences of their actions themselves.

He'll be a better person and contribute more to society for working towards his goals.

Ebenezer_Screwj

If he's working so hard for his exams and he hasn't got any time, what does he want more money for??
Unfortunately for him, what his friends' parents give to them is no yardstick for your own arrangements.