It's really hard

EssexHebridean

Hang on - there are alarm bells ringing here. Have you taken a three year loan to clear your overdraft among other things? Doing that can work well for some people, but you really, REALLY need to have your spending under control and know where your money is going first. Otherwise you are just going to end up right back where you started.

That spending diary isn't just a good idea IMO, it's absolutely vital. Don't start it from next month, either, start it right now! Might be worth asking the bank to cut your agreed overdraft figure right back too - just leave enough there that if you miscalculate by a couple of £ one month you're not going to get stung with high charges.

You're describing that £300 a month as "spare" - but it's not is it, you're paying routine expenses from it - toiletries, clothes,all need budgeting for and until you've accounted for your spending, there's no "spare" money - this is why we say an SOA is a great idea.

Assuming it's just you & your little'un you're feeding, your shopping is extremely high for a start - I feed two grown adults on £150 a month and we pretty much always have change from that, currently.

[Deleted User]

It pains me to say it OP, but I don't think you've had your LBM yet.

Hayley33

Yes. Three years. So now no credit cards (unless the bill is paid IN FULL). One car loan to finish in 2.5 years £200 PM back. Sofa to finish in 1.5 years interest free £50 PM back. And then finally the loan £150 PM back in 3 years. I have had my moment I will not get into the credit card/ overdraft cycle again. I'm so sick of it. Was making me ill worrying about money all the time. I do roughly work out before pay day all I've got going on for the month and take money out accordingly. I'm going to slimming world I'm wondering if this is a bit of a waste of money but I really need to get my weight down also.

That food budget is for 2 adults & a child I don't think that's excessive roughly £60 per week. I sometimes struggle to keep to that also, food is so expensive.

It seems unacheivable because £100 doesn't seem like much over a whole month.

MrsSave

Can you go through your bank statements to see where this £300 is going? That's a lot of money to disappear. As others have said you need to budget for everything. We have allocated £100 treat money each month. But, I also save money each month for school expenses, my son's extra curricular activities, car maintenance, Christmas and birthday gifts and quite a few other things on top of the usual food, petrol, bills, mortgage, debt repayments, etc.

I have today paid for my son's next half term of rugby. The money was already sitting in the account (I use YNAB to make it clear for me) so our treat/spare money hasn't been touched. If there's enough money left out of the £100 at the end of the month we'll then buy a takeaway.

Clothes wise for my son I do like to buy Next jeans, but buy them in the sale I also buy things like his winter coat in the sale for the following year. T-shirts and things like that I tend to buy from supermarkets, and do this possibly twice a year. I find that by doing that there's not much he needs from month to month. For shoes I do buy some from Clarks (school shoes come from school pot), but also buy some from Next (I stocked up in the sale and have some in the next 2 sizes up). I think they were around £6-£8 for a pair in the sale.

Anyway, I digress! I agree with the other posters that an soa and a spending diary are vital. Work out to the penny how much money you have coming in each month, and then (as YNAB says) give every penny a job. Whether it is for the gas bill, the mortgage, school activities, Christmas gifts, food, debt repayment or your emergency fund.

[Deleted User]

You still have debts, but are spending on non-essentials.

You see that £300 pm as "spare" money, but there is no spare money, when you are repaying debts.

Every non-essential penny, should be going on clearing debts.

Hayley33

Bob, I've got a debt plan I'm paying back £150 per month. They'll be gone in 3 years. I've learnt my lesson about credit cards. It would be unrealistic for me to put every penny intoclsaring the debt how would I live? I'd end up back in my overdraft again in a state. I have to have money to live, I have a child to keep who constantly needs things (if you have kids you'll know what I mean)

Pixie5740

Do you have a debt plan or do you just have a loan you've taken out over 3 years?

Consolidation can work if you get the budgeting right and I'm not sure you have. Your budget has to be for the whole year, not just looking at your monthly bills and roughly working it out. That's why the SOA is so useful, it gets you to budget amounts for non-monthly expenses such as birthdays, Christmas, annual insurance payments, MOT, car maintenance and servicing. Once you start to budget for the whole year then you won't get caught out and will have an emergency fund to fall back on.

[Deleted User]

Hayley33 wrote: »

It would be unrealistic for me to put every penny into clearing the debt how would I live?

That's why I said, every non-essential penny.

jaydeeuk1

We didn't have children until I had cleared my £20k debt and knew we could afford them and be comfortable, but granted some pregnancies aren't planned.

Whilst paying off debts I did something called matched betting, gave me £500 a month or so to spend as I pleased and helped me feel like I'm not missing out. If I didn't use it that month it went on debts.

In your position, assuming 0% cards are out of the question, is throw every penny at your debt. Forget savings or emergency fund for now. Our eldest has just started school. 16 in her class but 70 in her year and she plays with pretty much everyone, party invites nearly every week so only gets more expensive as they get older.

MrsSave

I disagree with having no spending/treat money at all. It needs to be budgeted and the budget needs to be stuck to, but I personally couldn't pay off the debts without having any money for 'nice/extra' things. I think that will make it extremely easy for someone to 'fail' and overspend. I am more careful on days out, etc. We often use Tesco vouchers and take a picnic, but then we also buy an ice cream. We sometimes treat ourselves to cupcakes from our local cake shop. I bought my son a book the other day (despite the fact that we use the library and he has lots of books).

Everyone has their own way of paying off debts, and you need to find a way that works for you. Paying off debts for me doesn't mean going without, it means budgeting, finding ways to make things cheaper, earning extra money (I do surveys and use topcashback, etc), cutting back and just being sensible with the money you have.