It's really hard

determined_new_ms

you could do what i've done and commit to buying NOTHING new for a year. But this doesn't mean going around buying things 2nd hand. I only get something second hand if I need it. We don't eat out much now and at most get 1 take out a month. I've come to the conclussion it's far better to get an expensive/nice pizza in the sm and put it in the freezer for the inevitable night when we cba to cook!

It might seem extreme but needs must and now I am 4 months into it it's really not hard. I don't know how old your lo is but ours is 3, she really doesn't need expensive clothes. I'm saving her child benefit for the time when she does.

Toiletries - I bet if you did a thorough stock take you wouldn't need to buy any for some time

EssexHebridean

MrsSave wrote: »

I disagree with having no spending/treat money at all. It needs to be budgeted and the budget needs to be stuck to, but I personally couldn't pay off the debts without having any money for 'nice/extra' things. I think that will make it extremely easy for someone to 'fail' and overspend. I am more careful on days out, etc. We often use Tesco vouchers and take a picnic, but then we also buy an ice cream. We sometimes treat ourselves to cupcakes from our local cake shop. I bought my son a book the other day (despite the fact that we use the library and he has lots of books).

Everyone has their own way of paying off debts, and you need to find a way that works for you. Paying off debts for me doesn't mean going without, it means budgeting, finding ways to make things cheaper, earning extra money (I do surveys and use topcashback, etc), cutting back and just being sensible with the money you have.

I agree with this. We've made a point while we've been clearing off the mortgage of ensuring that there has been fun along the way - but we're also always made sure we get the best value from the money we spend on it. It's about small treats - but £300 a month is not "small treats" is it!

Hayley - Bob said above that he feared you'd not had your LBM moment yet. Umpteen people have also said that you need to budget, and that you need to know exactly where your money is going. You say you have £300 a month after your essential spending, but you don't seem to have a grasp on what is "essential" to be honest. No, for two adults and one child your food bill isn't "Eat Well for Less" style excessive, but you certainly could make a saving there if you wanted to, which would make the feeling of not being able to manage lessen. I suspect there are other areas the same.

You started this thread by saying that you were struggling to make ends meet, there are a lot of people here telling you why that is, and what you need to do to solve your problem, but at the moment all you seem determined to do is to tell us we're wrong. I imagine put like that, you can understand why we fear that you've not yet fully woken up to your situation?

Sanctioned_Parts_List

EssexHebridean wrote: »

That spending diary isn't just a good idea IMO, it's absolutely vital.

Exactly this!

A spending diary is not the same as a budget - a budget is what you plan to spend, a spending diary records what you actually did spend. An SOA is a summary version of the spending diary - it's what you think you spend, on average, every month.

Without tracking your real spending, you've actually got no idea where your money's going. You don't have £300 "spare" money, because you don't truly know whether it's needed for food, utilities, entertainment, clothes or is available for savings and/or debt repayment. This is not to say you don't have money at the end of the month, it's to say you don't have a clue how much!

Until you know what you really spend, month on month, year on year, then any budget you make will be fantasy. This is why we recommend people trawl their previous year's bank statements to make their first SOA...

Hayley33

Thanks guys. All advice taken on board
Apologies bob I didn't read correctly, I'm with you on that now 'non essential spending' can be cut down. Shall start recording my spending down in a little notebook. I know that all my essential bills are paid so to speak and what I have left (my hubby also has money left I'm talking about my pay) I state £300 as it's not accounted for any specific bills it's just leisure money, when I say toiletries I mean the odd £1 deodorant etc. The majority of toiletries I get in the shopping money. I can definitely cut down. Was aiming to start with £20 a month in a savings account.

EssexHebridean

Hayley33 wrote: »

Thanks guys. All advice taken on board
Apologies bob I didn't read correctly, I'm with you on that now 'non essential spending' can be cut down. Shall start recording my spending down in a little notebook. I know that all my essential bills are paid so to speak and what I have left (my hubby also has money left I'm talking about my pay) I state £300 as it's not accounted for any specific bills it's just leisure money, when I say toiletries I mean the odd £1 deodorant etc. The majority of toiletries I get in the shopping money. I can definitely cut down. Was aiming to start with £20 a month in a savings account.

Well done you! :T

Yep - notebook is a great idea - remember you need to note everything though - it's the only way it works.
Set some time aside over the weekend to put together your SOA - if you wanted to post it in here I know I speak for others when I say we'll be happy to cast an eye over it and suggest where we reckon you can make savings. While you're about it you might try putting together a meal plan and a shopping list for the week to come as well - this is the thing that really enabled me to hammer down our food bill and also to cut down on waste.

You can do this - with the right structures in place you can get rid of that debt - and yes, it IS all debt, just some is worse than the rest. Imagine if you can get the loan gone in two years, not three, for a start? How amazing would that be?

Hayley33

Thanks Essex some really good advice. I have started that with the food shopping doing lists and sticking to. Usher as you know you can just spend and spend with regards to food.

That would be amazing. I'd love to end up though 3 years now with a nice saving account and everything gone

Hayley33

I will post an SOA when I have the chance to do it all

EssexHebridean

I'm going to make a further suggestion Hayley - look back on ALL your old posts on here, read through the threads, read the advice people have given you, and notice how there are common themes on just about every thread. Make a decision now that you are, once and for all, going to deal with this. Don't consolidate debts again, EVER - you KNOW this doesn't work now, don't you.

You can do this - all the information as to how is there - but first, you have to want to - and only you can make that decision. What I will tell you though is that there is NO better feeling than feeling as though you're in control of your life, financially. Not owing anyone a penny, for anything. Being able to grab a takeaway without thinking "I can't really afford this". Not dreading opening bank statements. Buying something that you've wanted for a while, and have saved up for, carefully, month on month. Knowing that if disaster struck, you could still cope until things sorted themselves out. If you wonder how I can be so sure of that, feel free to read back over my diaries.

Hayley33

Thanks Essex I did have a look but I can't seem to find any of your diaries. I can imagine it must be a lovely feeling finally being out of debt. Sorry if I've been posting similar old threads these boards are a good help and thanks for reading

EssexHebridean

To find threads started by a particular user (this works for your own threads, too) click on the username to go to the profile - there is then a row of tabs along the top, one of which is threads. Click on that and get a list of all threads started by that user.

How's that SOA coming along?