is the only way up?

newmum1

I would suggest that you tell your OH he may be angry but he will be glad that you have told him then you can work through it together.

toile

Hi again and thank you for your replys. I have been busy dragging myself out of the trough of self pity that i have been wallowing in and i'm determined to sort this out.

I know that telling OH is the first thing i have to do, i nearly did a while back, but then the foot and mouth outbreak (we are farmers) meant that we could'nt move any livestock to market, so no income, i thought it was not the best time....but really there isn't a good time is there.

Posting on here last night was the first time i have 'spoken' about this to anyone and i felt very overwhelmed and not a little tearful!!

today i am clear waht i have to do, tell OH and find a job quicktime. Thanks again for your replys and pm's you are all lovely people.

I will have to wait until its dark to tell OH so that i can't see the disapointment in his beautiful but tired eyes.


toile

fletch3163

Oh toile, you poor thing. You made me cry.

Your OH will indeed understand. No way would you 'say' such a caring sentence (beatiful but tired eyes) if he wasn't a kind individual. I absolutely understand your immediate thought is to protect him but you need to be protected too and that's your job for each other.

I'm fairly new to this site but I have seen the posters here squeeze money out of thin air so you really should take their advice and post your SOA. It will help. You don't say how long, how much your loan is for?

tealady

Is there anyone you can ask for help as well (not necessarily financial). The NFU maybe? Are you tenants or owners? If you are owners have you thought about B and B or renting a room to a lodger (thats tax free on some of the earnings).

toile

thank you fletch, i think it would take a month of sundays to post a soa, we are farmers and our income or lack of it, it entwined with trying to keep the farm going, so on top of the electricity car etc, theres cattle feed, vets fees public liability insurance, home grown cereal levy taxes, it just goes on and on, we have been working so hard to keep going. My OH gets up at 2.30am goes to work, then comes home and works on the farm, he is just knackered,meanwhile idiot that i am have been trying to make the ends meet and made everything worse.

I am falling back into that trough again!!

toile

toile

hi tealady

No room for lodger i'm afraid, all rooms are full. We do own the farm.

thanks toile

tealady

As you own is there any room to put a caravan to rent out or have people camp overnight of for a few days?

toile

thanks tealady

our spare grassland is renting out for horse grazing, this works well and brings in more than campers. We are in aconservation area so siting caravans can be a problem. but thanks for your ideas

toile

fletch3163

Hi again

Just thought I'd drop by to see how you are. Have you had the conversation with OH yet? Do you feel more positive?

GingerSte

Hi Toile,

I'm afraid I don't have any fresh ideas for you, as I don't know much about farming. I am just posting to reiterate that you are not alone in this. You have a husband that you undoubtedly love, and who loves you. At the end of the day that is more important than the financial situation. You also have the support of all of us DFWers.

I hope things get better for you soon.

GingerSte.