Report concerns about a woman and child to Social Services

mark5

Even if there is no direct abuse of the child, social services take regular DV between the parents as serious. If it was a one off it would be less likely.

AndyBSG

As someone who was raised by a mother and step father in a DV partnership my answer would be simple.

If you suspect there is an effect on the child then you report it, end of.

It's not your job to prove it and if your suspicions are true then the longer you wait the more damage is being done to the child.

If your suspicions are wrong there 'may' be some damage caused by the allegations and investigation but these are far outweighed by the damage that will have been done if you are right and waited to report them.

ska_lover

I would want to know far far more about this before making a descision

ska_lover

spadoosh wrote: »

I just dont think its for me to report on something ive probably got little understanding about. I would want to be absolutely certain that abuse was taking place and that i didnt think the person you where reporting on behalf of wasnt capable of making that decision.

Abuse is subjective, ie different people have different views on abuse. What you might think is domestic abuse in its variants might be one side giving as good as they take. Its all well and good saying no harm no foul but when its your family being investigated and police/councilors coming round to your house you might think differently.

I know two people who have spent an evening in jail trying to stop domestic abuse (on both occasions the man was battering the woman). When a friend intervened the woman went to defend her man and the 2v1 argument stood. A long drawn out court case and charges of GBH because someone stepped in to stop a woman getting beaten up (the guy uses restraining tactics rather than assaulting ie no punch throwing). The other instance was a similar situation however my friend got asked to leave the isle of man and that he wouldnt be welcome back.

I wouldnt suggest not reporting domestic abuse but if you are going to, you should be certain its absolutely clear cut otherwise you risk destroying an innocent family because youve decided there is abuse from the tiny snippets of information you might get about their relationship.

I completely agree with this - and is a consideration of the implications on someones life (a child ending up in care) if someone got it wrong.

It is a hard one, and you are damned if you do, and damned if you don't really

Kim_kim

lincroft1710 wrote: »

There is nothing to stop you reporting this. But before you took this step, you should be very sure that your allegations are well-founded, and you should consider all the possible consequences of your actions.

No I disagree, the outcome is for the professionals to consider & nothing at all to do with the op.

The op only has to believe they have well founded allegations.

lincroft1710

Kim_kim wrote: »

No I disagree, the outcome is for the professionals to consider & nothing at all to do with the op.

The op only has to believe they have well founded allegations.

Well, I disagree. Believing you have "well founded allegations" is not enough. I know couples who frequently scream abuse at one another and it may sound like mental abuse. 10 minutes later, the air is cleared, everything back to normal, no-one hurt.

However, children are not involved.

Unfortunately, the "professionals" in such circumstances have often got it wrong.

missbiggles1

lincroft1710 wrote: »

Well, I disagree. Believing you have "well founded allegations" is not enough. I know couples who frequently scream abuse at one another and it may sound like mental abuse. 10 minutes later, the air is cleared, everything back to normal, no-one hurt.

However, children are not involved.

Unfortunately, the "professionals" in such circumstances have often got it wrong.

I wouldn't expect anybody to consider a screaming row to be anything other than a screaming row. Unpleasant it may be, but unlikely to be abuse.

Detroit

In which case, the people concerned could explain to the authorities that there is no cause for concern.

Imo it is always better to report concerns that later prove to be unfounded than to do nothing and later find someone has been harmed. This is particularly the case for the OPs as there is a child involved.

The authorities don't always get it right, and unfortunately there are cases where people have suffered from over zealous actions.
However, equally there have been numerous instances where abuse has gone unreported and has escalated to tragic consequences, which I would consider to be the greater risk.

If the OP has concerns about a child, it is their responsibility to report it immediately. In no way should they be expected to be certain, or to delay waiting to get all the facts. The OP is presumably a lay person, and not in a position to do this.

The matter should be brought to the attention of the rofessionals, and the responsibility of the OP ends there.

missbiggles1

Detroit wrote: »

In which case, the people concerned could explain to the authorities that there is no cause for concern.

Imo it is always better to report concerns that later prove to be unfounded than to do nothing and later find someone has been harmed. This is particularly the case for the OPs as there is a child involved.

The authorities don't always get it right, and unfortunately there are cases where people have suffered from over zealous actions.
However, equally there have been numerous instances where abuse has gone unreported and has escalated to tragic consequences, which I would consider to be the greater risk.

If the OP has concerns about a child, it is their responsibility to report it immediately. In no way should they be expected to be certain, or to delay waiting to get all the facts. The OP is presumably a lay person, and not in a position to do this.

The matter should be brought to the attention of the rofessionals, and the responsibility of the OP ends there.

I agree where there's a child involved but reporting a couple of adults having a screaming row is just ridiculous and would take valuable professional time away from genuine cases.

lincroft1710

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I agree where there's a child involved but reporting a couple of adults having a screaming row is just ridiculous and would take valuable professional time away from genuine cases.

What if you saw the woman the following day wearing dark glasses on a cloudy day?