Family, argh!

Brickwall

Is it just me that's got family members that make you want to scream?

A few months ago my cousin announced they were selling up and moving, now, I like to dabble in crafts and make the occasional card, it's actually quite rare for me even give them to anyone. So, I set about making a card for her, her hubby and dog, I wasn't happy with the first one so started again, after a while I was reasonably happy with it, it's was a pop up box card. I even put a dog on the card!

Cousin moved, so I asked another cousins wife for the new address cause I wanted the card to be a surprise, they live miles away from me but near each other.

Posted the card off and now all hell has broken loose! My counsin isn't happy because I asked another cousins wife for the address, she's had a kick off with her, hasn't even acknowledged to me that she got the card, even though I know she did, and is now refusing to speak to me! What have I done that's so bad?

Ever wish you'd never tried to do something nice for someone? Like I say, I rarely give my cards to anyone, I'll be giving even less after this!

Pollycat

I never give out anyone else's address (postal or email) or telephone number without checking it's OK to do so first.

I'll maybe say 'put a stamp on the card and I'll address and post it' or something similar.

I would not be happy if someone had given my address or phone number to someone else and that includes family who don't know those details.

But what's done is done, I guess.

Have you any idea why your cousin has kicked off at both you and the other cousin's wife?
Is she just annoyed that personal details were passed on without her agreement or is there something else that's annoyed her?

If she won't speak to you, just let her come round in her own time. If she doesn't, so be it.

Brickwall

I know it's not giving the details out that's caused the problem, we're always asking for each other's adresses because we're all bad for not writing them down, phone numbers as well, lol.

I think it's because I asked the other cousins wife, my cousin thinks she should be contacted before anyone else about anything. When my mum was dying I tried to contact her, didn't get an answer so went to the next one on the list, when I did speak to her she told me that in future I was to only contact her. To say she's strange is an understatement.

Three years ago I posted a Christmas card to her, months later she pulled me up for not sending her a card, when I said I had I don't think she believed me. I haven't had a Christmas card from her since, lol.

Janey3

I would have been miffed at the fact that cousin didn't tell me her new address and wouldn't have sent a card until I heard from her with new address.

A lovely thought though for you take the time to make a special card.

She sounds strange and wants control of everything.

Carry on sending the cards at Christmas - but just a cheapy one and keep your hand-made cards for those who would appreciate receiving one.

System

I wouldn't have been happy either but would have accepted the reasons behind giving it out would have been well meaning.

My Sister In Law has been trying to get my mobile number for years but have avoided giving it to her up to now and will continue to do so. I don't think she believes we don't have a landline either.

Petty maybe but at least she won't be able to rant at me again on Christmas day for not buying her adult kids a Christmas present....Damn cheek! I was fuming most of that Christmas... At least they got a card which is more than we ever got.

It's his Sister.. He can deal with her!

ivyleaf

In your position I don't think I would have wanted to send her a card in the first place! It's such a shame that your nice idea has ended up like this

There's nowt so queer as folk.....

Pollycat

Brickwall wrote: »

I know it's not giving the details out that's caused the problem, we're always asking for each other's adresses because we're all bad for not writing them down, phone numbers as well, lol.

I think it's because I asked the other cousins wife, my cousin thinks she should be contacted before anyone else about anything. When my mum was dying I tried to contact her, didn't get an answer so went to the next one on the list, when I did speak to her she told me that in future I was to only contact her. To say she's strange is an understatement.

Three years ago I posted a Christmas card to her, months later she pulled me up for not sending her a card, when I said I had I don't think she believed me. I haven't had a Christmas card from her since, lol.

Ah. Additional information.

I don't think I'd have bothered spending time & effort making her a card.
I'd have just rung her to ask for her new address and sent a 29p one from Card Factory.

I'd let her stew and not contact her again.

divadee

I would of gone nuts at my family giving my new address (I have just moved) to my cousin as I don't speak to her after a massive falling out. When I moved I told my mum not to give my address out or phone number to anyone without asking me first and I know she won't.

Obviously this isn't the case with your cousin she just sounds weird so I would just chalk it down to experience and forget about them. Don't bother in future would be my way forward.

AylesburyDuck

Familys eh!
When they're good, they're very very good, and when they're bad, they're awful.

Lily-Rose_3

Brickwall wrote: »

Is it just me that's got family members that make you want to scream?

A few months ago my cousin announced they were selling up and moving, now, I like to dabble in crafts and make the occasional card, it's actually quite rare for me even give them to anyone. So, I set about making a card for her, her hubby and dog, I wasn't happy with the first one so started again, after a while I was reasonably happy with it, it's was a pop up box card. I even put a dog on the card!

Cousin moved, so I asked another cousins wife for the new address cause I wanted the card to be a surprise, they live miles away from me but near each other.

Posted the card off and now all hell has broken loose! My counsin isn't happy because I asked another cousins wife for the address, she's had a kick off with her, hasn't even acknowledged to me that she got the card, even though I know she did, and is now refusing to speak to me! What have I done that's so bad?

Ever wish you'd never tried to do something nice for someone? Like I say, I rarely give my cards to anyone, I'll be giving even less after this!

Brickwall wrote: »

I know it's not giving the details out that's caused the problem, we're always asking for each other's adresses because we're all bad for not writing them down, phone numbers as well, lol.

I think it's because I asked the other cousins wife, my cousin thinks she should be contacted before anyone else about anything. When my mum was dying I tried to contact her, didn't get an answer so went to the next one on the list, when I did speak to her she told me that in future I was to only contact her. To say she's strange is an understatement.

Three years ago I posted a Christmas card to her, months later she pulled me up for not sending her a card, when I said I had I don't think she believed me. I haven't had a Christmas card from her since, lol.

You poor thing, your extended family sound flippin' awful. And a bit pathetic to be honest!!! It's for similar reasons to this that I have very little contact with some of my extended family. Half the cousins are OK, but the other half are pathetic. I have literally been chastised in the past (maybe 20 years back!) by an aunt who said THIS;

'Sharon saw you yesterday, and you didn't speak to her!' :rotfl:

(Spot the not so deliberate mistake!) So let me get this straight....... she saw ME, and *I* didn't speak. Duuuhhhh! :cool:

When I said 'well she saw me so why didn't SHE speak?' I would just be greeted with 'well you should have spoke!' And no matter how many times I tried to get it across that she should have spoken, as she saw me, my aunt ignored me and insisted I should have said hello! (I didn't see HER by the way, but I should still have spoken to her!') Ooooookkkkayy.

Things like this, coupled with money - and other items - being borrowed that were never given back, sarcastic jibes about various things, including my house, my choice of outfit, and in the past, my weight, and comments to my mother about how I didn't get my cousin's niece a birthday card, when said cousin never bothered with mine, my daughter's OR my husband's birthday, made me give them an exceptionally wide berth.

I took great pleasure in moving away to another town over an hour's drive away, and now I don't have to see their faces anymore. *BLISS* Now I can spend my time with the people I love and care about; my husband and his family, my daughter, my daughter's boyfriend and his family, the people at the Church, my close friends, a couple of my neighbours, and a small smattering of extended family who don't make me wanna tear my hair out!

Seriously, kick these people to the kerb. I kicked toxic people out of my life a few years ago, and yes, some of them are extended family. And I have never been happier.

Brickwall

Thanks for all the replies.

I do still send her a Christmas card, my daughter thinks I'm mad, I just don't see the point in coming down to that level, maybe this year I will, lol..

Thankfully they're 300 miles away!