Grandparents rights

LilElvis

pphillips wrote: »

It is however incorrect to say that "even if an order is obtained a parent reluctant to give access can come up with endless excuses to block or reduce access", when they cannot. Disobeying a court order is contempt of court and that is a criminal offence.

Tell that to the countless non-resident parents who find that having a court order granting them access means nothing in the face of concerted opposition to the contact by the other parent. How many of these parents are dealt with by the justice system? Or are they just allowed to get away with it, time and time again?

pphillips

The court doesn't know that the non resident parent is being refused access because the court doesn't check up on people to make sure the order is being complied with. This means the non resident parent may have to apply to the court for enforcement of the order.

duchy

pphillips wrote: »

I agree that building bridges is always the best way forward and perhaps family mediation would provide a channel of communication to enable that to happen.

Going to court is always the option of last resort and i'm not saying everyone should go to court, it depends entirely on the circumstances.

It is however incorrect to say that "even if an order is obtained a parent reluctant to give access can come up with endless excuses to block or reduce access", when they cannot. Disobeying a court order is contempt of court and that is a criminal offence.

And?

So Granny gets to see the children but the children hate and despise her because she got their Mum into court. Soon as they are old enough to not be forced to see her they will stop. Incidently what kind of fine do you imagine the parent would get ? A massive fine ....thus penalising the children as there's less money available for them or perhaps a prison sentance ....the kids can always be put into care . There isn't any reasonable penalty that doesn't harm the children.

duchy

pphillips wrote: »

I agree that building bridges is always the best way forward and perhaps family mediation would provide a channel of communication to enable that to happen.

Going to court is always the option of last resort and i'm not saying everyone should go to court, it depends entirely on the circumstances.

It is however incorrect to say that "even if an order is obtained a parent reluctant to give access can come up with endless excuses to block or reduce access", when they cannot. Disobeying a court order is contempt of court and that is a criminal offence.

And?

So Granny gets to see the children but the children hate and despise her because she got their Mum into court. Soon as they are old enough to not be forced to see her they will stop. Incidently what kind of fine do you imagine the parent would get ? A massive fine ....thus penalising the children as there's less money available for them or perhaps a prison sentance ....the kids can always be put into care . There isn't any reasonable penalty that doesn't harm the children.

Perhaps you don't understand that * can *and will happen are different

securityguy

pphillips wrote: »

It is however incorrect to say that "even if an order is obtained a parent reluctant to give access can come up with endless excuses to block or reduce access", when they cannot. Disobeying a court order is contempt of court and that is a criminal offence.

Yes, nothing says "granny loves you" like having their mother imprisoned. It's a sure way to ensure a long and happy relationship with children who will now be in the care system.

This is a very interesting read:

http://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/index.html

securityguy

That aside, UK law is very clear about the circumstances in which Child Arrangements Orders can be sought. They are for cases in which a grandparent has had a long and close relationship with the grandchild (or, more generally, when an adult has had a long and close relationship with a child) and therefore it can be held that denial of contact is harmful to the child. And courts will look at that in the whole, so if the child is resident with their parents and there are no other concerns, and the parent plausibly asserts that the relationship with the adult seeking contact is so harmful to the parent that it is bound to affect the child, that is a reasonable objection.

In the OP's scenario, unless there is some massive backstory that they aren't telling, a court will tell them to sort their own problems out, and even if by some miracle a child arrangements order was made it would be in practical terms unenforcible, and even if a child could be forced over their parents loud objections to go to a contact centre once a month, the likelihood is that it would result in a total family estrangement pretty much immediately, and certainly as soon as the child was able to convince a court that they didn't want to go (remember, the test is "is this contact good for the child?" not "does the grandparent want contact", so the child saying "I hate it as I have to miss parties and sports fixtures to go to that stupid contact centre" will carry a lot of weight).

The blog I linked to is US, but my understanding is that in the UK there have been very, very few successful cases other than in the situation of grandparents who have lost contact as part of a divorce, and those cases that have succeeded have been where the grandparents have been effectively raising the child. If your child refuses you access to your grandchild, fix your relationship with your child. Because the courts won't, and in reality can't, help.

bmthmark

I am in a similar situation but I am the parent of the child. We have had a falling out with the grandparents.

My advice is to speak to your daughter and build the bridges. If you really want to see your grand daughter say sorry, what ever needs to be done.

Don't wait for your daughter to contact you as I guarantee she will not do this.
I've always said to my wife if the parents contact us and want to see our daughter we will never stop/block them as my daughter has done nothing wrong and the argument has nothing to do with her. But unfortunately the grandparents have not contacted us, so i'm guessing they are not interested.
Don't wait either, deal with this now. The longer you leave it the harder it will be.

Families don't you just love them

pphillips

I am very amused at the comments suggesting that breaching the contact order would result in a prison sentence. Do you not realise how ridiculous that sounds?

jjj1980

pphillips wrote: »

I am very amused at the comments suggesting that breaching the contact order would result in a prison sentence. Do you not realise how ridiculous that sounds?

It's rare but is a possibility.


http://theparentconnection.org.uk/articles/what-happens-if-a-former-partner-breaches-contact-order-arrangements


http://www.ncsmc.org.au/wsas/legal_system/contact_orders.htm

barbiedoll

Some of the replies may seem "judgmental", but that is possibly because some of us are familiar with a long-running thread on here from a poster who had some serious issues with her mother, who had tried to take her grandchild away without her daughter's consent, and who tried to keep up contact with her grandchild despite having an injunction imposed by the court, to keep her away.

OP, we don't know your daughter's side of the story but some of us will give her the benefit of the doubt. I'm sorry for your recent bereavement and I daresay that you're missing your granddaughter dreadfully. But you must try to speak to her mother, it's the only way to sort things out. Write her a carefully-worded letter, speak to other members of the family or go and visit her if you don't think it will antagonise her further but please stay away from the courts. There will be no winners there.