Gravestone costs

ThemeOne

My father's ashes have been buried in the same grave as three other family members, and I now have the task of ordering a suitable memorial.

The existing gravestone has inscriptions for the first three - two on the stone itself and one on the base.

My original idea was to have a smaller second stone on the same plot just for my father, leaving the original stone intact, however cemetery regulations do not allow more than one stone per grave.

There is no room on the existing memorial for any further inscriptions - not on the front or the base anyway. The funeral director did suggest I could add it to the back of the stone, but to me that would look rather disrespectful and I've never heard of it being done before.

So I'm now facing the prospect of a complete new memorial, adding inscriptions for all four, which is likely to be pretty expensive.

I will pay what it costs if I have to, but just wondering if there are any options I've overlooked, or is there a way to reduce costs of these memorials?

PasturesNew

Doing it on the back isn't common, but I have seen it done.
It is a "bit odd" looking, imho.... but if it came down to cost then I'd be prepared to do it.

Is it possible to just replace the base and repeat the old inscription and add your new one?

ThemeOne

It might be possible to replace the base, I'll have to take another look at it to see.

I guess if I could get a base that extends both ways, instead of just to the front, which it does at present, then putting my father's inscription on the back might work better.

LEJC

Will they allow a flat stone that is placed on the grave...we were granted something like that on a family plot that we have..

Another alternative might be a flower urn which could then be mounted on something that holds an inscription or the urn inscribed

Is it a bordered grave or an un bordered type that just has a headstone?

ThemeOne

It's an unbordered grave in a municipal cemetery.

I will double check re the flat stone - probably easier if I contact the cemetery direct, as so far it's all been done through the funeral directors.

Savvy_Sue

As far as payment goes, has probate been completed on your Dad's estate? If not, do others think this would be a reasonable expense to claim from the estate?

unforeseen

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

As far as payment goes, has probate been completed on your Dad's estate? If not, do others think this would be a reasonable expense to claim from the estate?

Not really.

Yorkshireman99

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

As far as payment goes, has probate been completed on your Dad's estate? If not, do others think this would be a reasonable expense to claim from the estate?

AIUI it is not allowed as part of the funeral costs as far as HMR&C are concerned.

GwylimT

My first wifes ashes were buried with her two grand parents, we had a small heart shaped stone added to the original grave stone for her inscription.

It was attached to the original base at an angle so it looks like it is leaning against the headstone, i did mean one of the pot sections cannot be used.

SevenOfNine

You can put whatever you like on the municipal graveyards where I live, but not a second upright headstone (not even the shorter style suited to a small cremation plot). 1 grave, 1 upright.

You can add the flower urns, engraved or otherwise. Flat tablet stones, the 'desk' style ones, in fact any of the smaller style, low level ones......as long as you pay our local council £300 each time you put one on! Not so in the church consecrated grounds though, they're incredibly strict.

Any old tat from Poundland is popular. The flower urns often have as many lurid plastic flowers as one can fit, the older & tattier the better it seems. Moulding toys, beer cans (full), sadly anything goes. Sometimes 'rules' might be a pain but not necessarily a bad thing.

Have you had a mooch around the particular cemetery to see what has been done by others? A flat tablet style that extends the base of the existing headstone might be perfectly acceptable.

My condolences.

Savvy_Sue

unforeseen wrote: »

Not really.

Yorkshireman99 wrote: »

AIUI it is not allowed as part of the funeral costs as far as HMR&C are concerned.

Fair enough.

Maybe if I re-word the question: is the OP the only one who will contribute to these costs?

If there were other surviving family members I'd certainly ask them if they wanted to contribute, but of course we don't know who else is in the plot, and who survives, and what the relationships are like.