Dealing with finances of dying relative

FreeworldImpossible

securityguy wrote: »

Life is about choices. She made a decision. As an adult, she's entitled to have that decision respected.

But if I had had an explicit conversation someone about an LPA and they had explicitly declined to obtain one, and they subsequently lost capacity, I would regard their active choice to not sign an LPA as just that, an active choice, and I would not attempt to override it via the OPG.

securityguy wrote: »

"So if they have finances to sort out, a house to sell, bills and care home fees to pay and credit default payments coming out of the woodwork, how would you suggest this is managed?"

In the end, the state will intervene via social workers. A consequence of not putting in place things like Lasting Powers of Attorney is that your life will become difficult if you lose capacity, as you will be reliant on your local adult services people as guardian; of course, if you don't have suitable friends or relatives, you are in this position anyway.

Every time someone says "oh, never mind you were stubborn while you retained capacity, we'll fix it for you anyway" the lesson is weakened. Someone was asked if they wanted to make a power of attorney. They replied that they didn't. Now that turns out to be a pretty bad decision. That's their problem, not the OP's.

"The OP is in the unfortunate situation where the illness is terminal, but someone with dementia could go on for years - how are they going to pay for somewhere to live, clothes, activities and every day needs unless a deputyship is put in place?"

Perhaps they should have thought of that themselves? The OP isn't in an unfortunate situation, the person who when asked about doing an LPA explicitly declined to do so is in an unfortunate position.

As I said above, if a relative of mine refused to do an LPA, I wouldn't presume to take via the OPG authority that they didn't want to give me while they had capacity. Yes, this is harsh.

I'm sorry mate, but I don't feel the advice you give is either helpful or welcome.

I didn't say she expressly stated "I do not want a LPA". Without being too disrespectful her gran is somewhat ditsy. She took very little in life seriously nor did she fully understand the ramifications of what night become. This is a woman who literally thought she'd live forever. She didn't have glasses, no hearing aids, and walked all over the place. Up until May this year she was completely independent, cutting her own lawns and decorating herself. In her own mind if worst came to the worst then we would take over everything. Unfortunately it has proven to be a less than favourable outcome for her. However, to simply adopt a well you made your bed now lie in it, literally, is not something we as loving family members could bring ourselves to do in her hour of need.

Yorkshireman99

Ignore his "advice". He seems to delight in being nasty to people who need help not snide remarks. Sadly MSE allow him to continue.

FreeworldImpossible

Thanks for the info in this thread guys!!

vfm

We are dealing with an aunts affairs at the moment ( have a POA). One of the things you mention was paying Council Tax. We did this originally then we found out that if a relative resided in a care home that with our Council an exemption applied and she did not have to pay any Council Tax. We paid for months before we realised this and although we did get a refund. It may be worthwhile asking your relatives council if they have this exemption.