Divorce- How it can affect your kids

savisco

In the University of Missouri, a specialist in human development studied the impact of divorce on kids and also motioned how they are dependent on their parents at different ages:
Infants – It has been observed that they change their sleeping and eating habits frequently when their parents are getting separated.


Toddlers - They are able to realize that one parent is missing from home. So, they start showing their anger, may lose interest in play and skills such as toilet training, go back to thumb-sucking and may get nightmares.


Pre-schoolers – The children belonging to this age group start blaming them for divorce and may not be able to accept the changes in their lives. They may show sadness and grievances because of the absence of one parent.


Pre-teens- The kids may feel that they have been abandoned by one of the parent. This can be one of the reasons for them to withdraw from friends and society. It has been observed that they may start using foul language and adopt bad habits. They even turn out to be cruel and harsh people when they are fully grown-ups.


If you have more damaging effects of divorce to the child you can add as well.

KRB2725

Not all children are badly affected by separation/divorce. Whilst I accept that many are, the way the adults deal with the separation can have a huge impact on how the children cope with it.

I don't see what you hope to achieve with this thread, other than to make those people who are divorced or in the process of separating feel guilty.

GwylimT

When our parents parted ways it was the first time in our childhood that we felt safe, secure and happy at home.

Our sleeping habits certainly changed, we weren't scared anymore.

FBaby

What's the point of this thread? My parents divorced when I was two. Clearly don't remember my parents being together. I grew up feeling loved by both and wondering how they even got together in the first place as from my perspective, they have always been very different people. I have never fantasized of a life with the three of us a happy family. I am a happy well adjusted adult.

My kids were 2 and 4 when I separated from their dad. They are now teenagers and I'm confident they would say that they've had a wonderful childhood so far. They are confident and well-adjusted kids. They didn't express any of these feelings listed above.

Detroit

Have I missed the beginning?

Or has the OP posted a superficial, one sided, poorly evidenced set of generalisations apropos of nothing?

nicechap

Whereas:-

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/01/divorce-kids-_n_4862357.html

http://www.heysigmund.com/unhappy-marriage-and-kids/##

http://www.livestrong.com/article/1006420-development-children-loveless-marriage/

Hundreds of other references if OP fancies googling.

*max*

I'm guessing it's for some college work, and OP needs material for an essay.

Artytarty

Whereas I am still affected nearly forty years later.
I can't stand arguments, I have spent twenty years trying to ensure my children have a stable"normal" childhood and home. All I wanted as a child was to be the same as everyone else at school.
I do realise now that it's different, almost odd to have toe parent s still married to each other.

TBagpuss

I think one issue is what you compare it with. I am sure that being part of a happy, stable, united family is best for children and that divorce / breakup of parents is almost always going to be stressful and upsetting for children at the time it happens.

How badly it affects children will depend on the children, and also on the divorce, and how the adults behave before, during and after the split.

Equally,living in an unhappy family can be quite damaging - children pick up on, and understand, much more than they are often given credit for and if the adults are unhappy the children will pick up on it. And of course there is also the issue of what kind of relationship the children see as 'normal', so staying in an unhappy and high-stress relationship is not only harmful to the adults concered but potentially sets any children up to repeat the same style of relationsip themselves as adults.

Parents who are splitting up can significantly reduce the harmful impact on their children if they are able to work together on the arrangements for the children, if they can demonstrate to the children that they cooperate and respect one another even if they no longer love one another, and if they can avoid putting the children into the middle of a dispute or try to get chilren to chose between them or to feel thay have to pick sides.

fairy_lights

It would be interesting if someone would do a study on the effects to children of parents staying together 'for the kids'.

Izadora

fairy_lights wrote: »

It would be interesting if someone would do a study on the effects to children of parents staying together 'for the kids'.

I haven't got a clue who did the study (I did my degree about 20 years ago) but I do remember one which showed that the children suffered fewer negative effects if their parents separated than if they stayed together in an acrimonious relationship.