Holiday dilemma

Newly_retired

OP has already mentioned to the boy's mum that she would like money for food, so she can hardly backtrack, but maybe it is best not to mention it again, certainly not ask for a specific amount. Leave it to her and see what she offers.
She might even just give the boy a chunk of money and he might not hand it over, but just spend it all, so keep an eye open.

Spendless

Alikay wrote: »

We didn't expect any money for food when we took our kids' friends away with us, but it was nice if they offered to pay for an ice-cream for us all or similar. Asking them to pay for their own entrance to theme parks or activities seems reasonable though.

My experience of doing this, when my DD was the one invited away, was I gave the other Mum money to cover any expenses (which didn't include accommodation, since it was booked before DD was asked) and gave my child some pocket money to cover things like an ice cream. In addition I converted some Tesco clubcards into vouchers so both girls could go to the funfair for free. It was one that just charged for rides so no admisssion costs involved.

One day they went to a seal sanctuary and the other Mum told DD she had to pay for her own ticket too. I thought I'd more than adequately covered DD's costs without her having to do this!

OP - Sort it how you wish, but please make clear or take into account what is and isn't included. I wasn't happy about what happened with DD.

sheramber

I think it is unreasonable to ask the friend to pay for own admission charges or eating out unless you details beforehand where you will be going and how much it will cost. Otherwise the child may not have enough money to pay for these.

If you feel it necessary to charge for food then how much extra will you spend? Eating out will be your choice so should be at your expense.

Remember you asked the child to go on the holiday. You may be putting a financial strain on the friend;s family.

Lily-Rose_3

Yes, I most definitely wouldn't be asking for - or expecting - any money from this child's parents. It's kind of annoying because it can be costly, but it's the price you pay. When our daughter was between about 10 and 15, we took quite a few of her friends away on day trips, and weekends, and even a couple of 4-5 days holidays. The parents gave them 'spending money' but never ever offered us anything else, and we never asked.

One girl we took away for 5 days chucked 8-10 pounds worth of food into the basket at the local Waitrose several times (near the budget hotel we stayed in -) just for herself. It also cost us a lot to get into attractions, because we had to pay for a fourth person. I know we should have known that when we asked her, but we weren't prepared for how much extra it cost. So just make sure you're prepared, and that you set limits on spending (food etc...)

When she was about 14, I took my daughter and 3 of her pals to a theme park for the day, and not one of the parents offered us a bean towards getting in, or the petrol, or the food or anything. Cost me about £150 in total. Again, my fault, but it would have been nice if the parents had returned the favour a few times!

The only ONE time she was asked, was when the parents of the girl we took on the 5 day trip asked her to Alton Towers, and made her pay her own way in! They had 2 for 1 vouchers, but it still cost her £23. She only took £30, so had very little to spend. And her pal who came away with us was spending merrily, and never even offered to buy an ICE CREAM for our daughter.

With having an only child though, I didn't want her to be alone, and she did ask if her friends could come on these trips. I'm not actually properly complaining, and I didn't mind most of the time, but it would have been nice if one of the friends parents had asked OUR daughter on a trip more often. (And not made her pay for herself!)

Still, going back to the OP, I wouldn't ask. If you are asking, then just make sure they have spending money and be strict on what you spend on them. Don't be taken advantage of like we were for several years.

Mojisola

Lily-Rose wrote: »

One girl we took away for 5 days chucked 8-10 pounds worth of food into the basket at the local Waitrose several times (near the budget hotel we stayed in -) just for herself.

I think you were too soft! Children coming away with us follow our family rules - our kids certainly wouldn't be allowed to add loads of things like that to the shopping and neither would one of their friends.

Lily-Rose_3

Mojisola wrote: »

I think you were too soft! Children coming away with us follow our family rules - our kids certainly wouldn't be allowed to add loads of things like that to the shopping and neither would one of their friends.

OMG yes we were. Not just soft... more like mugs! I can see it now. Still, no point in dwelling on the past, it's done now. But we were a bit too soft at the time. Should have put our foot down more.

freyasmum

I agree with the majority - as the inviting parent, I wouldn't ask for anything. But I do like the suggestion about asking the mother if the boy was ok with keeping his own money, or if she wanted up to keep it.

I would not expect anything towards the cost of the holiday (unless outlined and agreed upon prior to them agreeing to the child going). The reason for this being that the cost of the other child should not be much more than I would have expected to pay for the other child.

As the parent of the invited, I would give spending money to my child and offer something to the family to cover the cost of their being there. I would also give some extra money to my child on the strict instruction that it be used to treat the family to a lunch, or similar.

Mojisola wrote: »

I think you were too soft! Children coming away with us follow our family rules - our kids certainly wouldn't be allowed to add loads of things like that to the shopping and neither would one of their friends.

Absolutely agree - but then, it's always easy to see in hindsight. More difficult at the time to say anything and potentially spoil a trip for the daughter.

Soundgirlrocks

Newly_retired wrote: »

She might even just give the boy a chunk of money and he might not hand it over, but just spend it all, so keep an eye open.

:rotfl:

My half brother did this, he came away on a activity holiday with me and my dads side of my family, I had gone riding for the day so my step mum and cousin took him to the highland games, he let my step mum pay for him despite have the wad of money our mum sent him up with. Needless to say we had words when I found out!

cr1mson

When I was invited on holiday my Mum gave me money and instructed me to buy a meal for the inviting family.

To avoid issue of putting food into trolley why not arrange a Tesco shop or whatever for delivery.

Tammykitty

As the inviting parent I wouldn't ask, but if I was the parent of the invited child I would offer money.


When I went somewhere with my friends my mum always gave me money to pay my own admission fees, and I offered them to the parents, if they didn't take it take I bought ice cream or something for everyone - my mum had me well trained