Holiday dilemma

milliemonster

We are going on holiday to cornwall in a couple of weeks, my daughter has decided she doesn't want to come so my 13 yo son asked if his friend could come along instead, I asked his mum who is one of my close friends and said that we would be more than happy for him to come along and we don't expect them to pay towards the accommodation but just for his food and spends.

Now she has confirmed that he can come, I'm unsure how much I should ask of her to contribute?

We are self catering in a cottage, but plan to visit the local pub for a couple of nights to eat out at least, we're going to be out and about during the day probably eating at the odd cafe etc, but I have no idea how much to ask my friend to contribute towards his meals for the week.

Anyone have any ideas what would seem fair?

pinkshoes

I would say £50 for the week would be ok. You would have had to pay for your daughter anyway, so anything you get would be a saving.

(I assume your daughter is not demanding money in lieu...)

jetplane

I agree as long as the boy has some spending money for extras then he wont be costing more than your daughter would have, although you will no doubt have to feed her at home. The upside is that he will be keeping your son company which will save you having to entertain him and hopefully allow you to have a more enjoyable time.

Personally I wouldn't be asking for money for food, as I would trade off that expense against the bonus of having someone else to step in at such late notice.

Enjoy your holiday

candlelight_2013

I wouldn't ask for money for food either, but for his Mum to make sure he has enough spending money.

As has been said your son will have a friend with him so that should make your life a little easier because they will make ther own entertainment, and you won't have son and daughter falling out, as most siblings do.

When our daughters were young they took friends away with them, we were usually in a caravan, and I just asked that they came with their own pocket money. That doesn't mean we didn't treat them, but they could spend their money on whatever they wanted to

Have a lovely holiday

Candlelightx

AnotherJoe

We did this many years ago when a last minute dropout of one child meant my daughter could ask a friend along. Same sort of age. Didn't even occur to us to ask for food money from parents, just to make sure she had "pocket money" for incidentals such as souvenirs.

Detroit

I would agree with the posters who wouldn't ask for money.
In my view you invited the child and he is therefore your guest.

His presence will presumably improve your own son's holiday, and allow you and your partner more time. I would consider this worth the cost.

In his parents place, I may have assumed this would be the case, and while I would expect to give spending money, and would offer an amount for his keep; depending on my budget, I may find it difficult to be presented with a breakdown of costs for meals out, entrance fees and so (which will be your family's choices) after I'd agreed, unless your expectation had been made clear to me beforehand.

I don't think there's a way of charging that won't sound mean, so practically, if you want a contribution, I'd see what is offered and just accept that.

With regards to pub meals, with four of you, you could go for places offering two for one meals to minimise the cost.

martinthebandit

I'm with most of the other posters here, I would not ask for food money (after all it's still going to be cheaper than taking your daughter) but would ask the parents if they would like me to take charge of the spending money they give him to prevent him blowing it on beer and birds (or similar) the first day.

LKRDN_Morgan

Agree with the others. Assuming you would have been paying for your daughter to eat you're not going to be any worse off. Plus having your DS friend there to occupy him rather than having to endure the ''I'm bored'' comments will be worth it!

warby68

I wouldn't charge either - perhaps if it was agreed from the outset on a cost sharing basis for the other child to be part of the holiday but this is a last minute, do us a favour invitation. Generally an invitation means someone is your guest.

If something was offered for board I 'might' take it but still doubtful. If I was the parent of the invited child, I would offer something.

Agree on spends though.

calicocat

I really don't think you can 'ask' for money, and if you do, then you will probably end up looking a bit odd. You invited him. You should expect him to have pocket money for sure though.

Your kid will have a playmate...score

You will have time to yourself....score

You would have been feeding two kids anyway...score

The invite may be reciprocated later in the year or next year....score




Other than spends, you shouldn't be expecting any money at all.

Mojisola

If I was the parent of the other child, I'd expect to cover his costs for entrance fees for days out and his personal spending and probably offer something for his food (but as the inviting parent I wouldn't accept the food money offer).