Keeping busy in retirement

barbarawright

As a retired teacher, she might well be snapped up by volunteer groups involved with refugees who are often desperate for language practise. She must have great admin skills too

Ilona

If there's one thing I hate is someone starting a sentence with, 'Why don't you......bla bla bla'. OP, if your mother wants to do chuff all except lounge about for a couple of months, let her. Eventually, when she is ready she will start looking for ways to occupy her time. If she turns into a slob not wanting to do anything, then is the time to get anxious and help her.

Ilona

chesky

Mojisola wrote: »

I wouldn't want my children to start organising my retirement but I would like to think that if they were concerned about my welfare they would talk to me about it and offer to help if I needed it.[/QUOTE

Sounds to me as though OP's mother is quite capable of asking for help if she needs it. She's probably fed up with her daughter interfering.

missbiggles1

Ilona wrote: »

If there's one thing I hate is someone starting a sentence with, 'Why don't you......bla bla bla'. OP, if your mother wants to do chuff all except lounge about for a couple of months, let her. Eventually, when she is ready she will start looking for ways to occupy her time. If she turns into a slob not wanting to do anything, then is the time to get anxious and help her.

Ilona

If she's happy doing that for the rest of her life then good luck to her.

Primrose

I!m another enthusiastic advocate of U3A (university of the Third Age) which is a nationwide organisation for retired people who want to keep their brains active and meet like minded people. Our branch runs about 27 different common interest groups and you get to meet a lot of interesting people. I know of many retired people, especially those living alone, who would claim that U3A has made a huge difference to their lives. Membership is about £20 a year and most local groups will let you attend a taster session free first. Google U3A and you can get a list of local branches in your mum's area.

But give your mum some space first to find her feet. She is probably bone tired although she may not realise it and some mental space for the world to just drift over her for a short while will probably do her good. Let her enjoy the remainder of the summer. When the weather gets cold and miserable and cabin fever starts to set in she'll probably be ready for some new experiences.

Most local libraries run book reading groups if she enjoys reading although if she signs up to U3A she may well find they have one there too.

Pollycat

rsdiscos wrote: »

I Know she needs a rest but I am worried she could get depressed without having a regular routine.
Please help with ideas
Thank you

Is your Mum prone to depression?

I'm probably slightly younger than your Mum and lucky that I retired early over 10 years ago.

The idea of having a 'regular routine' fills me with horror & I wouldn't thank anyone who thought I should have one.

jackyann

I wonder how much you are a part of your mum's life and whether you spend much time together?

Are you worried that she may depend a lot on you, or want a lot of your time?

As she sounds very capable, I would tend (as suggested) to leave well alone. Even someone who wants to be involved and active may still cherish a few months rest.

I would tend to see her regularly, as often as you think is reasonable, and keep an eye on her. I would say nothing unless you think she is getting depressed (and then, being sociable is not always the answer!). I would also say something if she seems to be getting dependant on your company or relies on you to take the initiative.

When people tell me what is good for me, I have learned (the hard way) to completely ignore them. I would think about whether you trust your mother to sort herself out as she wishes (which may look different from your idea of her retirement!)

You are somewhat worried about money. Many people find that retirement brings time to organise themselves better and that they can manage very well on a lot less money. A lot of activities on offer are often quite cheap, so you may also find that she manages that aspect better than you fear.

I hope you can both enjoy your mum's retirement and the changes that it brings.

cliffsgirl

My mum works in a charity shop a couple of mornings a week she loves it, it gets her out of the house and meeting people.

jfdi

I took early retirement in January this year after 35 years in a stressful challenging job.
The following week I took myself off to Spain for just a week to rest and catch up on sleep, self catering.

I decided to gift myself a 'year out' with no regular commitments and here I am 7 months in and loving every second.
I've done two week long stints volunteering, one at a festival I usually pay to go to, with a third possibly coming up later this month, I've done some crafting, had some short breaks, cooked for my hubbie most nights, had lots of coffees and lunches and am currently sorting my mums house out whilst she's in hospital.

When my year us up I may do some consultancy work, start a small business or carry on exactly as I am now!

Let your mum find her own way, but just keep an eye on her to make sure the black dog doesn't come visiting.

Xx

missbiggles1

Pollycat wrote: »

Is your Mum prone to depression?

I'm probably slightly younger than your Mum and lucky that I retired early over 10 years ago.

The idea of having a 'regular routine' fills me with horror & I wouldn't thank anyone who thought I should have one.

If I'd wanted a regular routine, I'd have stayed at work and been paid for it!