Project Mortgage Neutral Begins

juliejim

Hope you've had a lovely Christmas aj and you are feeling better now.

ajmoney

juliejim said:

Hope you've had a lovely Christmas aj and you are feeling better now.

Christmas was good but unfortunately I am not feeling better yet. I seem to alternate having a manageable day with a horrible one. It has been a week now, I am trying all the tricks I know and making sure I work through some mental anguish because I am not sure that is helping. I feel grateful that I am on leave so don't need to worry about working and can focus on doing nothing but I hope I don't feel ill for the whole of my time off.

I am using the time to take stock. I haven't made steps towards getting stuff sorted in the house yet as I don't have other quotes but I will turn my attention to that in the new year and see if there is a plan to move forward.

It is a little sad to see how different my life is from a year or so ago when I had my ex-husband as a friend. Over the last couple of years I have been in an on-off relationship with someone, we are different people and while we get on very well as friends recently it seemed like we couldn't get on with each other at all. He called an end to the relationship and while I think it is for the best until we find out if there is a way that works for both of us and work at reclaiming the friendship side of our relationship I am finding it tough as I have deep feelings for him. I don't think it is a coincidence that I started feeling ill on the day this came to a head and have been unable to get better yet, especially as I normally get away with colds etc as pretty minor things. We spent Christmas together which was lovely and will be spending New Year together too.

During the time on my own and also while he is here, I need to work out how I do things on my own. I had only just started to work this out when we met and got together so I need to continue working on this. We have never spent all our time together, just weekends mostly and any leave that has coincided so it is not like I have a huge void to fill but I am trying to stop messaging as much as I was. It is tough but I think probably necessary in these early stages although I intend to chat with him about it when I see hime tomorrow. We managed to cover some pretty wide gulfs of distance last week by talking through a lot of stuff and while we may never get back together in the way we were, our hobby means we spend a lot of time together and I am very grateful for his friendship.

It does mean that while I am off work it is pretty quiet in the house. I am trying to relax and get better and hopefully getting some peace around this will help. Normally by this time of the year I have come up with my financial goals for the next year but I don't have much capacity for that, even reading is a little draining at the moment. Once I know what I need to pay for work in the house and when, I will be able to make a better plan for the rest of the year. Until then I am saving every penny I can to put it towards the works so my savings aren't completey drained.

One thing I would like to try and do next year is to be a bit more spontaneous and care-free. It isn't really in my nature and I am quite envious of people I see who are so while making huge leaps may be too much for me right now, I would like to see if little steps outside of my comfort zone will work.

LadyWithAPlan

So sorry you are in such a transition and ill at the same time . 

Heartbreak is never easy  - if you can keep yourself busy with the next lot of house planning I am sure it will distract you 

the truth is always if they are not right for your whole life then it’s best they do leave sooner rather than later but in the short term this wisdom really doesn’t help. 

My last ex dumped me by text so I at least could be angry and it was made v clear  he was not the gentleman I thought so easy to not want him back 
- harder when you have been friends - and still have some respect for each other -  a time apart of a month or more helps heal far quicker then both wanting different things 

 Sending you virtual soup! 

Watty1

sending love.  This time of year is always hard I think.   Hang in there. spring is coming and with it a new world for us both

ajmoney

I opened a regular saver paying 8% for the next year a couple of days ago. I am unsure if I will be diverting some of the money that I usually pay elsewhere or attempting to save £200 a month above what I normally do. With mortgage interest at 1.34% I| am continuing to only OP the interest amount so I feel I am doing something while getting a batter return on my money in savings. I remortgage in 18 months time so when the time comes I will ask the mortgage advisor to do a few different calculations to see what the best options are for the new rate with paying a lump sum etc prior to accepting a deal.

The next remortgage will be a bit different to all my previous ones. I expect to end my contract with my employer in 2027 so I need to make sure that the monthly repayment is at a level that will potentially reflect a lower income. I have done some rough calculations this evening based on current totals to see what my bills come to, at their current amounts and assuming I keep my tv/internet package as it is, my bills would be around £11655 a year. I expect my pensions (that I can draw as soon as I leave) to be between £9-10 k a year (any more is a bonus) so any job I get will be paying for food, fuel and any savings, niceties and potential OPs. 

I am going to do what I can over the next couple of years with my savings but my focus is to get the work done that I feel is needed on the house and decorate. After the remortgage, maybe for the two years, potentially just for the last one, I am going to see how little I can live on. I don't really concern myself with my food and petrol bills but I might set a challenge to see what I actually need and go crazy with saving the rest. It was always my plan when I was married to do this for the year before I changed jobs but that was when I expected to be MF. Things have changed quite a bit with me going it alone.

I am not concerning myself with anything this month but next month I might start keeping all my receipts to get a better idea of some of the things I am paying out for.

I don't want it all to be about an end goal anymore though. I am the sort of person that, when I become MF I will look for the next things. I want to enjoy the journey as I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. One of the things I want to try and do this year is to be a bit more free-spirited and test the limits of my comfort zone. It might not go well but I look at some of my friends who always appear to be having a blast and doing so many different things. I would kind of like that but I don't know if I can be quite like they are in reality. Watch this space... For now I am aiming to do one "fun" thing a month. It might be with others but I also want to find things to do on my own as I would like to get more comfortable in my own company!

Watty1

Lovely round up.  I think being single plans change.  One thing I found illuminating (terrifying) was to actually record what I spent for a month.    It really highlighted where I wasted money.   I will do it again soon as it was such a great exercise.

ajmoney

Watty1 said:

Lovely round up.  I think being single plans change.  One thing I found illuminating (terrifying) was to actually record what I spent for a month.    It really highlighted where I wasted money.   I will do it again soon as it was such a great exercise.

Away from food and petrol, I think most of my money goes on cups of tea and meals out although these have been reduced significantly over the last year. It will be interesting to see what comes up!

ajmoney

I have a list of things to do before I go back to work on Tuesday and as most of them are telephone and internet related I am slowly working through them this morning while being extremely lazy. I am still fighting this bug although very slowly getting better so both rest and doing easy jobs are a good use of my time.

My biggest dilemma today surrounds my tv/internet deal. I currently pay for a sports package from when I used to watch a lot of winter sports and F1. My hobbies have changed and I am far busier at the weekend than I used to be so it is very rare that I watch any of it so common snese says I should get rid but for some reason I am loathed to.... I guess if I remove it, I can always add it back on. The costs for the tv etc aren't cheap so every little will help and the money can be saved elsewhere. Let's see if I can actually go through with doing this!

ajmoney

It looks like I can save £29 by ditching the sports so common sense will prevail here. I like the service I get from my current company but am having a look to see what the other ones are offering. Interestingly there are better offers with my company for new customers so I may need to do an online chat to see what else they can do for me.

ajmoney

It is very frustrating that my current tv/broadband provider says the best price they can do for me is £76.50 but if I was a new customer it looks like I would pay £37!!!! Does freeview still work through the tv? I am wondering whether just to go without and only use broadband for a while as I don't watch that much away from those channels. There are a couple of programmes I started watching over Christmas on their specialist channels but I wouldn't be disappointed if I couldn't watch them. Apart from the fact that I am currently paying a lot a month I am not in a rush. I think I just need to look at my options sensibly before I get rid entirely.