Money Moral Dilemma: How much rent should I pay my parents?

pollypenny

tastyfish wrote: »

Are people really asking why this has been taken from a post hidden on another board within the vast MSE forum and highlighted as a moral dilemma in the weekly email which has exposure to millions of subscribers?

Look, if people dont like these dilemmas then please dont comment. The rest of us are bored of your whinging.

Hardly hidden, dear. The same board and, at the time I tapped, just four lines up from the 'dilemma'. :cool:

Chelseafan237

Get a job that pays more then continue to pay the £50 a week, quids in! Have some get up and go! Dont always find a way to pay less, but find a way to make more! (Legally)

Nozama

I've read a little of the original thread and I must say that I'm in the minority on this issue.

I would never ask my daughter to pay rent. She didn't ask to be born and the world is a harsh enough place without your own parents making things more difficult for you. I also seriously doubt that it's costing her mother £50 a week (as she buys all her own food) to have an extra person in the house, especially if the child is a considerate "lodger" and tries to minimise the impact of her being there, e.g. doesn't turn the heating on for herself.

The only exception to asking children for rent would be if they were off the rails, hanging around with a bad crowd or being a waste of space / failing to take responsibility for their own future. Even then my logic would be that the money is safer (and used for better purposes) in my hands.

People choose to have children, not the other way round. In the real world, those children have to compete with others born with a silver spoon in their mouths who do have mummy and daddy to always fall back on. I believe having a mercenary attitude towards your own children is one of the things that separates the "Haves" from the "Have Nots". The "Haves" invest in their children from birth starting with a more expensive education, right through to an inheritance.

I know one self made multi-millionaire who came from a poor / humble background. He found himself in a similar situation to the OP. He became unemployed in his thirties, could no longer afford the mortgage on his flat so he sold it and moved back in with his pensioner / widowed mother for free while he started a business. She even became his unpaid sceretary, doing all his admin for free as he tried to build up his business. Long story short, after a few difficult years, his business really took off and he made a fortune. If his mother had been determined to teach him some "life-lessons" by demanding rent, no doubt he would have to have joined the millions of others in the rat race in order to survive.

My view is if you can't stick by and support your children through thick and thin, then this probably should have deserved some serious consideration when you decided to have them in the first place.

fairy_lights

Nozama wrote: »

If his mother had been determined to teach him some "life-lessons" by demanding rent, no doubt he would have to have joined the millions of others in the rat race in order to survive.

My view is if you can't stick by and support your children through thick and thin, then this probably should have deserved some serious consideration when you decided to have them in the first place.

The mother of the original OP wasn't asking for rent to teach her life lessons though - she was asking for it because she was genuinely concerned about finances.
I agree that you shouldn't have children unless you can afford to support them, but by the time the child is 35 you would expect them to have found there feet and no longer be needing to rely solely on parental support.

meknowalot-51

Yes it's fair for you to ask but don't be suprised if the answers not in your favour.If i were your parent i would want to know more about your boyfriend and why he can't financially help you out.Also why haven't you got at least two p/time jobs or got some further education to increase your earning potencial?

Bigpedro

Fact is if your hours have been cut you have time for another part time job. Surely this crossed your mind while thinking about SAVING to move abroad or did you just think you'd slip back into mummy's and get everything done for you free of charge while you saved nothing for moving?

LallyAdams

Yes you should continue to pay. £50 a week is a great bargain and compared to what you would pay privately a brilliant deal. Most people would be delighted to have half their earnings left after paying for their keep! Lucky you.

jorok

If you can get a better deal elsewhere then take it. Your bed and board is being heavily subsidised by your parents at £50 per week.

roslancaster

just to add to the hundreds of responses. Some 40 years ago, the deal was with my mum that I paid £20 pounds a week board when living back home. So £50 in 2016 seems very reasonable to me

Lily-Rose_3

Nozama wrote: »

I've read a little of the original thread and I must say that I'm in the minority on this issue.

I would never ask my daughter to pay rent. She didn't ask to be born and the world is a harsh enough place without your own parents making things more difficult for you. I also seriously doubt that it's costing her mother £50 a week (as she buys all her own food) to have an extra person in the house, especially if the child is a considerate "lodger" and tries to minimise the impact of her being there, e.g. doesn't turn the heating on for herself.

The only exception to asking children for rent would be if they were off the rails, hanging around with a bad crowd or being a waste of space / failing to take responsibility for their own future. Even then my logic would be that the money is safer (and used for better purposes) in my hands.

People choose to have children, not the other way round. In the real world, those children have to compete with others born with a silver spoon in their mouths who do have mummy and daddy to always fall back on. I believe having a mercenary attitude towards your own children is one of the things that separates the "Haves" from the "Have Nots". The "Haves" invest in their children from birth starting with a more expensive education, right through to an inheritance.

I know one self made multi-millionaire who came from a poor / humble background. He found himself in a similar situation to the OP. He became unemployed in his thirties, could no longer afford the mortgage on his flat so he sold it and moved back in with his pensioner / widowed mother for free while he started a business.

She even became his unpaid secretary, doing all his admin for free as he tried to build up his business. Long story short, after a few difficult years, his business really took off and he made a fortune. If his mother had been determined to teach him some "life-lessons" by demanding rent, no doubt he would have to have joined the millions of others in the rat race in order to survive.

My view is if you can't stick by and support your children through thick and thin, then this probably should have deserved some serious consideration when you decided to have them in the first place.