I want to stop drowning

debtaghh

My family are not your traditional family. If I told them about the amount of debt we have they would make my life a million times worse ( I am seriously not exaggerating). They are not supportive at all and would just make me feel like rubbish more than I already do.

[Deleted User]

Ah but you are your own amazing little family! Having chosen to have children you have the chance to break the cycle and be the sensible adult role models your children need you and deserve for you to be. And there’s no pressure ....because you already are. :money: what a turn around :j

debtaghh

Thanks so much for your kind words x

[Deleted User]

You are welcome and it’s true. It’s bloody hard work. I have been at this game for 8 years...but it’s finally coming together. You do just have to keep at it. It’s deffo quicker to spend it than pay it back lol. And you do go backwards at times before going forwards. But it’s the long game that matters. Changing your mindset is the hard part. You are worth it, and you are already enough without the “extras” that credit cards seduce you into believing you need. You don’t, you are perfect as you are. X

debtaghh

Very sweet xx

[Deleted User]

I am not usually this nice lol. Your tale has just struck a chord with me. I feel like I am seeing it though your children’s eyes and so know how important what you are doing is to them and their future attitude to money and I wholeheartedly comment you.

I will shut up now...I have embarrassed us both ��

debtaghh

I really appreciate it and it has made me think of things differently. I don't want my children having to help us out in years to come with our debt :eek:

[Deleted User]

Hi debtaghh, hope you're doing well! You have made some progress, don't tell yourself otherwise!

I would take the £150 off the debt, or if that makes you uncomfortable, how about a £100/£50 split with £100 going to debt and the rest into savings?

If you look at it this way - the savings aren't going to get much in interest, so are only worth their face value, whereas £100 in debt payment could potentially be worth £120 in future debt once the interest kicks in.

Every bit of money you pay off the debt now will save you money in the future.

Silver_Queen

Just to chime in, my parents are rapidly approaching retirement and they will have to rely on us (their kids) to finance them in their old age because of debt and no pensions. It definitely is tough and a big burden on us.

katsu

Well done on the changes to your thinking Debtaghh and thanks to everyone who has talked about the issues of supporting their family. It is really important to think about what you are teaching your children by your lifestyle and examples. I was aware of high mortgage rates in the 80s when I was a kid and it definitely motivated me and my friends to pay off our mortgages early and to overpay rather than holidaying etc whilst rates have been low. It is amazing how your childhood is a big part of your financial thinking. I wish my parents had been more financially confident rather than me discovering Martin and having to learn from these forums about how to make my money work for me.

I really would encourage you to think about what you can do on the family presents. We have started openly saying "please do not buy for us, we have what we need" and although it was a bit sad not really getting presents, it meant we did not get things we did not want, so we weren't regifting things to charity shops and we also weren't spending as much on other people. Maybe you can make the family change by opting yourself out/focussing on different kinds of family christmas days? You and your kids deserve not to have debt in order to give gifts to people.

Well done again on your progress.