I want to stop drowning

wishingthemortgaheaway

Debtargh,

Just looking at the above: £500 overspend each month and over £1000 of credit card repayments.
If you are adding £500 to your debt each month, that £1000 figure is just going to go up. Therefore the £500 will go up and you are in a spiral.

We all know your story:
High rent in a high demand, low supply area
Family debt that couldn't be included in a dmp
Worry about the dmp affecting your ability to secure housing in the future
A love of holidays

You mention about 'reducing your food bill.' Even if you ate nothing, you would still be £200(ish) a month short. I think the phrase for that is something like 'sticking a finger in the dam'

I just don't know what to say to be helpful. I think throughout the journey of this diary you've had the 'tough love' approach from readers, the arm around you lots of support approach and I'm pretty sure some people have been down right blunt.

I think I agree with you when you say the lightbulb hadn't burst into bright colour yet.

If you put all of your personal debt onto a dmp, paying a token £1 a month.
1) where would that leave your shortfall?
2) how much per month could you repay to family?
3) how long would it take to pay the family debt?

Getting a dmp stops your debt growing, no juggling whether the credit card with the 21% interest should or should not be tackled before the 10% one. You will know where you stand, no hoping minimums will reduce. The only unknown would be the future housing situation, but that is the one thing you have no control over. And, if it was to change in the future, you would be in a better place financially. If they ask a question about a dmp Iva etc you could say 'yes, but.. look at how much of a better place I'm in now because I took that step'

You and everyone reading and supporting you on this thread are going round in circles. It's not getting better, at best it is remaining static, it's probably getting worse.

I am trying to say this all with care. I hope that that is how I come across to you.

Wish

debtaghh

Thanks . I agree and see what you mean.

That soa is a worst case scenario as I'm hoping by September to have reduced the minimums and to have agreed the extra hours at the second job and that is also with me saving for things.

wishingthemortgaheaway

debtaghh wrote: »

Thanks . I agree and see what you mean.

That soa is a worst case scenario as I'm hoping by September to have reduced the minimums and to have agreed the extra hours at the second job and that is also with me saving for things.

It's the 'hoping' again. You don't have control over some of the things that contribute to that situation. I think you said the extra hours will bring in £200 a month, how much capital do you have to pay off to reduce the minimums by the £300 plus that would be needed to balance the soa?

debtaghh

The £210 is the basic of the second job but there is talk of me taking on an extra day on top of that

Louoffofsparkle

Hi I’ve just started reading your diary, 1st and last page, so I’ve probably missed a lot.

It’s hard seeing a way out when you are stuck inside it.
Have you spoken to CAP or Stepchange? The thing that you seem to be worrying about is housing. Sorry if I’m suggesting things that you have already seen about, it’s just that I know my anxiety about worrying about things always made me scared to actually find out the answer.

And the holidays you have booked- how much extra honestly do you need to spend on top of what’s already been paid? If it’s nothing then go, but if it’s more then cancel and forget about it.

debtaghh

Hi,

Yes I've spoken to both a while ago.

With regards to holidays just general spending money which I have.

Louoffofsparkle

I take it they weren’t very helpful then?
Sorry if I’m being intrusive

debtaghh

Basically they can't include family debt or family credit cards. I've paid my mum a lump sum back meaning I haven't had to pay her monthly but come January I'll have too.

Louoffofsparkle

I’ve just caught up with most of your thread,
It seems that you are caught in a loop just spinning around.
I honestly think a dmp is the best for you.
If you could get a 6month break to save then you could use that for the family credit cards.
Then pay an affordable amount through your dmp.

Do you know 100% for certain that your husbands job would be affected by bankruptcy?

katsu

I think you are right about not having really had your LBM yet. If you want to no longer have debt hanging over you and you want holidays then the holidays have to become your Christmas presents etc. Cancel the sky TV as you'd rather have a holiday and can watch ordinary TV when you are home.

I appreciate you say that you will spend £1.2k on Christmas etc. It's not really £1.2k, it's £1.2k × your highest interest rate for X years until you are debt free. I'm not saying spend nothing, but maybe it's time to think about balancing your life differently. If you want the holidays then you'll have to make changes elsewhere.

Is there a reason you have to have a house alarm in your rental contract? If not, cancel that.

You can make changes and you had lots of great advice about focusing on one debt first, and which one it should be.

We used to have debt and we learnt to change. It's really worth it, I promise.