I want to stop drowning

EimearF

I’m just starting to read these diaries and will start my own soon, what you said on your last post is so true!

I have been to frugal daily and then splurge on foreign holidays rather than just letting myself have little luxuries to avoid big spends! You need a few trips to the cinema etc to keep up momentum for clearing your debts!

Good luck for 2019!

motivated

Hi debtaghh

I for one will not be begrudging you the odd treat or a holiday. We are in the brown stuff up to our ears and yet we have the odd treat and we are currently saving for a holiday. Why shouldn't we. Yes we've both made mistakes with money/credit but we are putting it right.

If a holiday or a cinema trip etc puts your debt free date back a bit then so be it. You will still have your sanity and you will have made some happy memories for you and your kids.

Slow and steady will win the race. It's a marathon not a sprint

You do it whatever way suits you and if some people disagree then . I bet there aren't 2 members here that are on a debt journey doing it the same way.

Keep going debtaghh we're right behind you
M

debtaghh

Thanks for your comments.

I will still try and be good but I'm not going to feel guilty about things. I still want rid of this debt but it might just take longer than it could have done.

sweetpea26

With the deepest respect Debtagh your bad purchase decisions have resulted in your debt.. you have to take responsibility and admit this to yourself otherwise you are deluding yourself....none of us have the divine right to have a holiday or a trip out. Your kids will remember the walk in the park and the picnic on a day out to the beach that cost a few pounds ... it doesnt have to be a dramatic spend. Go hill walking play hide and seek in a forest, councils have family fun days that are sometimes free or minimal charge ... you are equating good fun and memories with big money spends.

Its not about the toilet roll or buying bottles of water...its about having a set amount you can spend after you pay your debt payments...the old saying CUT YOUR SUIT TO YOUR CLOTH is an apt saying. I know you are finding it difficult with the shortfall but look at every aspect of your spending...cut electricity heating food ...learn to cook what you buy already made. I used to spend about £10 a weekend buying pizza. I was in debt to my two eyes I KNEW I COULD NO LONGER KEEP THIS SPENDING GOING I HAD TO CUT BACK !!!!! and I learnt from Youtube how to make dough. This was about 7 years ago and I still make my pizzas every saturday from scratch. I spend no more than £3 that includes flour yeast and toppings for 4 people. These things can be done...its just a matter when you are desperate to go looking for help.

It is good that you realise where you have gone wrong but you are now saying sod it ... it might take a few years more to pay off...how much will that cost you in interest and sleepless nights. I vividly remember those nights of lying in the dark worrying about debt payments. Its tough going and the quicker those days go the better.
Stop spending what you cannot afford.. full stop. Noone is judging you on here all of us have been in debt some of us numerous times.. we have learnt the only way you are going to get out of debt is not to spend what you cannot afford to spend. The last debt payment you make is the most wonderful feeling...you feel free...please consider every single penny that you have and treat it with the respect its due.

I really want to see you do well but only you can do this.

debtaghh

I am not saying I have a right to a holiday but it's a choice that I am making.

I know I have made some bad decisions but our debt isn't due to all of that , there are lots of other factors.

I am not giving up or saying sod it but I'm not letting it control my life and yes if that means it taking two, three years longer of paying off debt then so be it. We will continue to pay as much as we can and focus on any that will soon incur interests.

Please don't take this as I've given up as I really haven't and do value all your input.

WannabeFree

Is the debt actually going down?

I mean with such a huge shortfall is the debt growing monthly rather than going down?

I can see what you mean about having children and being in it for the long haul and we all have our own ways of doing things. However it is worrying that even things like an overspend on the grocery budget has left you feeling so down yet you're considering holidays and things. I think people are just concerned about you. As in your health etc not judging you.

Sorry I can't see any figures etc

Honeysucklelou2

No one begrudges you a holiday at all, it's just ensuring that you can afford the holiday and that booking one doesn't cause you huge financial stress later on. Please don't think I'm being judgemental at all, I'm not. I haven't been on holiday for about 5 years because I know full well I can't afford it. There's no room at the moment, in my budget, to even try to save for one...but I try to make memories with my children as much as I can. Last year we spent one night a week having a BBQ tea which was great fun and as soon as the nights get lighter again, one I would like to repeat. As Sweetpea says, treats, fun and memories can take many forms...some of my own memories from childhood involved bike rides and beach days...simple pleasures.

pennywisepoundstupid

I totally understand about you wanting a holiday and needing a break from it all, but please make sure you can afford it before you book, if you need to borrow money later down the line to pay for it then this will have an impact on other areas as you will need to find the extra money to pay back CC, also can you manage to save spending money and all the other extras such as summer clothes for the family,sun cream etc.

Are you still privately renting? what would happen if your landlord suddenly increased rent or gave you notice have you got an emergency fund in place to cover this? I think this was a problem for you last year and caused you a huge amount of stress.

Silver_Queen

My view (which you may wish to take with a big pinch of salt given my own debt situation) is that it would be fine for you to loosen your belt etc in line with the other person who has posted similarly in the last couple of days, however I think the main difference is that the other person is planning to be able to afford to do it by increasing their income significantly. If you are able to do something similar, then that's absolutely wonderful. However, if your income situation is going to stay the same, I think you will struggle to loosen your belt.

Your shortfall is already significant so I simply can't see where this extra money is coming from if not from credit. Please don't take this the wrong way but it feels to me as a long time lurker of your diary that you're just going in circles of boom and bust. Something has to give eventually.

debtaghh

I am looking for another job and to increase my hours as this is the only way I can up my income.