Lasting Power of Attorney.

TELLIT01

Working on the assumption that the POA was done when she was still of sound mind, what checks, if any, would be made at the time the POA was activated to ensure that the person granted it was still a fit person to carry out the role?

Mojisola

TELLIT01 wrote: »

Working on the assumption that the POA was done when she was still of sound mind, what checks, if any, would be made at the time the POA was activated to ensure that the person granted it was still a fit person to carry out the role?

None. The assumption is that the person giving someone else POA will choose someone responsible.

helcat26

No checks other than the person choosing them.
However if the family had got concerns they could have registered them
https://www.gov.uk/report-concern-about-attorney-deputy


If they had attempted to be involved in the last year or so or from when the POA was registered.


They cannot do it now it is too late


They did not involve themselves in what was going on with their mother's health or care. If this person was so bad- why were they not being proactive?


It is not about the money! What about the lady herself for the past whatever. Did they know that she was safe/ clean/ warm for the past couple of years before care admission? What were they doing? Did they try to contact social services?

TELLIT01

I don't want to go into too much detail about the daughter. Her partner is in poor health himself and they don't live in the same part of the country, and as I mentioned earlier, they were unaware that the mother had gone into a home, or even that she was suffering from dementia. Her brother blocked all attempts to contact the mother. When they did previously speak to the mother it was clear to them that she believed that her son was unable to do any wrong. That despite the fact that he hadn't done a day's work in years and was leaching off her all the time.
I don't know if they attempted to contact Social Services. If they weren't aware of the mother's health deterioration they would have no reason to.
Bottom line is that they were kept so far out of the loop they didn't have a clue. My friends' adult son was the one closest to the grandmother, and even he finally gave up trying to contact her after being blocked at every move by the brother.

Mojisola

TELLIT01 wrote: »

Her brother blocked all attempts to contact the mother.

I don't know if they attempted to contact Social Services.

Bottom line is that they were kept so far out of the loop they didn't have a clue.

It's too late for this family but this should be a major warning sign for anyone else.

Unless the people being blocked have behaved very badly towards the elderly person in the past, the only reason to block them is to cover up something.

TELLIT01

Mojisola wrote: »

It's too late for this family but this should be a major warning sign for anyone else.

Unless the people being blocked have behaved very badly towards the elderly person in the past, the only reason to block them is to cover up something.

Very true. The problem in this specific instance is that the mother broke off all contact because she believed everything her son told her about other family members. Once that happened, the son then blocked any attempt by family members to re-establish contact by claiming the mother didn't want to speak to them. In hindsight it's possible that her faculties were affected even at that stage, although it's obviously not possible to prove that now.
It's just a terrible situation as the couple involved and their children are the loveliest people you could ever wish to meet. Both the children work in the care sector. Ain't that ironic!
Thank you all for your input.

elsien

Slightly off topic, but they are aware that if they have nothing to do with arranging the brother's funeral with the funeral director they are under no obligation to pay for it?

helcat26

Of course it would have been impossible over a period of years to just get in the car and visit and go and see their mother



So I guess now their absolute priority is concerned with getting a place for the lady in a care home near them so they can visit regularly.


This will not of course stop the assets being sold to pay for the care, unless she lives with them

TELLIT01

helcat26 wrote: »

Of course it would have been impossible over a period of years to just get in the car and visit and go and see their mother.

I was wondering when the first judgemental post would be made!:mad:

The lack of contact wasn't from want of trying. The mother refused to have any contact, even with the grandchildren.

Once again, I would like to express my appreciation for all the responses received which actually related to the questions posed.

helcat26

I responded to your questions about POA. They left it too late to be bother about their mother's situation.


However I think if you were to see it from an outsiders point of view then you would see that your "lovely friends" have been remiss in their care of a vunerable parent. Anyone who cared for their mother would not be brushed off.


And speaking as someone who had the care of a parent with a brain tumour until they died - with no help from siblings


Ongoing care of an elderly father- with no help from siblings


Care with husband of MIL with Alzheimers including difficult choice that we had to eventually put her in residential care - with no help from siblings


It is just something you do if you have any decency


I find your friends crying about disposal of assets somewhat sordid


You may be angry with your little emoji :mad:


But I am somewhat sickened by the family situation you describe. And not so impressed with you defending them.