2 children one very sick and eventually no where to live

Harmon28

I simply can not afford to match what a lodger could pay to them. My Nan doesn't see the point of my living there and her being out of pocket when she knows and in her words "the council won't let you go homeless, if they would I would never be asking you to leave but they won't and you need independence for your own family"

Marvel1

AdrianC wrote: »

I presume the house was in his sole name, and you were unmarried?

Either way, start with getting proper maintenance for his children from him.
https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance/overview

Have you done this?

Harmon28

I have not done that. I have asked him for more and he uses the excuse that he spends £50 on petrol every 2 weeks to drive 110 miles there and back too see the kids (even though he stays with his friends and goes out with them whilst here)

I have said I will make a claim and he says if I do he will stop seeing the children. I don't want to risk it as I genuinely believe he would and my son would he heartbroken. It's not worth it.

pmlindyloo

You need to go to your council and register as homeless. Even though you are temporarily able to stay where you are until the end of September it is good practise for councils to start your homeless application early. They have to give you a decision in writing about your homeless application and whether you meet the criteria.

It would be useful to have a letter from you grandmother saying that you no longer can live there from *****. In fact you have no legal right to live there at the moment and, from the sounds of it you are overcrowded. Also take evidence of your child's special needs.

As you have a priority need (dependent children) the council have an obligation to offer you temporary accommodation when you can no longer live at your gran's house.

Having said all that many councils do not follow the correct procedure as regards the homeless. The council will also try to persuade you to find private accommodation and may offer some help with this. Much depends on the level of housing that the council has.

I would advise you to seek advice from CAB about this.

CAB can also help you with claiming child maintenance and other matters concerning your relationship breakdown.

having read your other posts I am also wondering if your university can help in any way. They may have hardship funds which could provide you with a deposit/advance rent for privately rented accommodation. In view of your child's special needs you may also get some support from social services.

So first port of call is the council and then CAB for further support.

Mojisola

Harmon28 wrote: »

My grandparents and I don't really know each other, they have told me to go to the council as soon as I moved in but I didn't as I was embarrassed and held hope of my ex having a change of heart and now I guess they're getting fed up.

Harmon28 wrote: »

I have not done that.

I have said I will make a claim and he says if I do he will stop seeing the children.

I don't want to risk it as I genuinely believe he would and my son would he heartbroken. It's not worth it.

It is.

You've got to start putting your children's well-being first - they need a home to live in and a parent who is fighting their corner.

Their Dad isn't doing that so it's got to be you.

glasgowdan

A 19 month old is able to handle a lot of emotion. If the dad is the type who'd stop seeing them over money then frankly they don't need him in their life growing up. What kind of role model will he be?

Get claiming the max child support from him. Don't dither. You're on here asking advice...we're all impartial and can see clearly. You're wrapped up in it all and can't.

I can't help with the practicalities of your situation sorry.

sheramber

You mentioned on your other post that your mother could look after your baby when you return to uni. Can she not help with accommodation or money for a deposit/ rent on a private let?

MistyZ

I think you should make a claim for child maintenance too. This man has left you and his children homeless and is using emotional blackmail re. stopping seeing the children to avoid his financial responsibilities. If you give in to him now he'll continue to have a hold over you forever and could play the children off against you as they get older. You have to draw clear lines between the two of you & to start fighting for a decent future for you and your children.

I agree with a previous poster who urged you to contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau. If you make an appointment to go to the bureau they should be able to help you make a homeless application. They will also know how your local council responds to homeless applications i.e. whether they tend to follow the rules or try to dodge them and can advise accordingly.

The CAB is one of many organisations who can help you at this really difficult time. I wish you luck and please don't let your ex-partner pull your strings.

martinbuckley

Firstly, the childs father has a duty to pay for the upkeep of his kids - its not the responsibility of your grandparents, the council or us taxpayers to pay for his offspring. If that means he doesn't see them, so be it - with an attitude like that, your kids are better off without that kind of a role model.


Secondly, where are your parents, and why did you feel the need to stay with your grandparents who you say don't really know you?
Thirdly, if your daughter needs oxygen, then she will almost certainly qualify for PIP, and in turn you would then qualify for Carers allowance - go and visit the CAB.

sheramber

From hr other post, the OP is a full time student so will not get carer's allowance. She intended to use a specialist childminder but then asked in her mum could get carer's allowance for looking after the baby which is what she would prefer.

Presumably, mum lives near to look after the baby.