Not speaking but how

Marvel1

Never thought I would be posting this, but anway, Mum in hospital broke her ankle last night, op done, all fine, Dad cannot drive, my Sister is out for the day tomorrow.

Anyway I am not speaking to my Dad, been a month, but will do things like for example tomorrow take him to the hospital to see my Mum.

Anyway thought about sending a text, saying a time to pick up, but want to avoid any akwardness if he tries to speak to me, thought about "pick you up at 2pm, but to avoid akwardness, let's just not say anything to each other".

EDIT: Post 4 is an update.

Andypandyboy

How old are you? Surely, you can be grown up enough to be civil without entering into deep conversation? Cant you both use this to try to get past whatever it is that has caused the problem? I am sure it would cheer your mum up no end.....

Jamiesmum

The fact you're overthinking this so much before anything has even happened shows how petty it really is.

Please grow up - your parents brought you in to this world, show him some respect and have a conversation with him. Why cause more upset purposely when it's not needed?

They ain't around forever, you know.

Marvel1

Having taking on board the above comments I can see where you both come from, and I will try and forgive and forget it's not easy as he was coming into my house while I was at work and taking money.

I never told my Mum or Sister what he did - no point in making it worse.

Dill

Might be worth taking the keys back off him so it doesn't happen again?

Fwiw I don't drive and I always bus it to the hospital, no problems.

PasturesNew

Dill wrote: »

Fwiw I don't drive and I always bus it to the hospital, no problems.

Depends how far the hospital is. In many areas it might be 3-4 hours on the bus and/or several buses.... or 40 minutes in the car.

Dill

PasturesNew wrote: »

Depends how far the hospital is. In many areas it might be 3-4 hours on the bus and/or several buses.... or 40 minutes in the car.

Fair enough, not everywhere has good bus services like we do here.

But then again, not everyone who needs to go to a hospital has access to a car either.. In which case bus or taxi, I suppose.

Andypandyboy

cjdavies wrote: »

Having taking on board the above comments I can see where you both come from, and I will try and forgive and forget it's not easy as he was coming into my house while I was at work and taking money.

I never told my Mum or Sister what he did - no point in making it worse.

No, that can't be easy, but unless you do tell you mum or get past it she will always wonder what on earth caused the rift.

Detroit

cjdavies wrote: »

Having taking on board the above comments I can see where you both come from, and I will try and forgive and forget it's not easy as he was coming into my house while I was at work and taking money.

I never told my Mum or Sister what he did - no point in making it worse.

Surely it doesn't have to be either forgive and forget or not speak at all?
Is there not a middle ground of polite small talk as you would if giving anyone a lift?

I have to say, I think I'd find it hard to forgive your father's behaviour, unless there were exceptional circumstances and he had shown remorse.

I certainly wouldn't want to give him the idea it could all be forgotten after a period of not speaking, as this doesn't address the issues of broken trust.

While reconciliations with family members is esirable, I'd want to be sure it wouldn't happen again.
I think this is a bigger conversation than could be had in a ride to the hospital.

I think I'd pick him up and keep it light and polite. If he attempted any conversation about the issues I'd tell him it was a matter for another day and that you should both concentrate on your mom for now.
Then, if you do genuinely want to mend fences, rather than be pushed into it by circumstances, I'd contact him for a proper discussion about the way forward for you both.

I'm sad for you. A parent abusing trust is horrible. I hope you find a way through this.

pendragon_arther

Dill wrote: »

Fair enough, not everywhere has good bus services like we do here.

But then again, not everyone who needs to go to a hospital has access to a car either.. In which case bus or taxi, I suppose.

Helicopter would be quicker.

Pollycat

Andypandyboy wrote: »

No, that can't be easy, but unless you do tell you mum or get past it she will always wonder what on earth caused the rift.

If I had suddenly stopped speaking to my Dad, I'm sure my Mum (and sister) would have wondered what had happened to cause it.

cjdavies wrote: »

Having taking on board the above comments I can see where you both come from, and I will try and forgive and forget it's not easy as he was coming into my house while I was at work and taking money.

I never told my Mum or Sister what he did - no point in making it worse.

It sounds like he committed a totally unacceptable act.
Did you confront him at the time or just stop speaking to him?
I would not wish to 'forgive and forget' without discussing the situation and getting a honest apology.