Boost to go to a meetup tonight

Chlorine7

I've realised that I only have one friend in the area I live (and its complicated) and I'm not sure about my new housemate.

I just agreed to go to a social with meetup which will be on my way home but I'm feeling a bit insecure about it. The last time I went to a social meetup thing, it was a little cliquey so I left after 45mins. I'm not the most confident with new people unless I'm with a lot of people I already know.

I'm getting a bit worked up for no reason about going.

Izadora

I know it's a lot easier said than done but take a deep breath, try to calm yourself down and remember that there'll be other people there who feel the same way and the worst that's going to happen is that you have one rubbish evening with people you don't want to see again.

There's also the chance that you could have a really good night, meet people that you want to get to know better and massively increase your social circle.

If you don't go you're never going to know which outcome it would've been. Good luck, be brave and I hope you have a good night.

hazyjo

Remember - people love to talk about themselves Ask questions. Try to offer something back. I had a friend who was brilliant at it. She was able to talk to anyone. I tend to talk too much in those situations as I'm nervous lol. Usually everyone's really nice though.


Don't get drunk, but a glass of wine definitely helps calm the nerves! Take the rest very slow though.


Good luck.


Jx

melanzana

It's called meetup for a reason and is aimed at people like you.

I am sure it will be absolutely fine. Don't worry about nerves on a first meetup, it's normal, as it is with the first time of everything, especially if you are on your own. Don't forget everyone there had to go to the meetup once too. Always keep that in mind.

I hope you have a FABULOUS evening, and I'm sure you will.

Top_Girl

If you feel yourself getting anxious, look around you for five things you can see, four you could touch, three you could hear, two you could smell and one you could taste. It brings you back to earth if you like, back to your surroundings and is really calming.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Practice makes perfect. In this case, you're practising meeting new people.

It gets easier (not easy, I won't promise you that) the more you do it - and conversely, harder the fewer times that you do.


You could have a great time. You could have a nice time. You could have a 'meh' time. If you don't enjoy it, come home and try again another night. It's still better than not going out and then sitting at home wishing you had.

pigpen

so don't go..

though I suspect you do want to go.. and then you can sit at home in an @r$e with yourself for not going and be a grouch..

Or go.. and see.. if you leave after 5 or 45 minutes or stay to the end that remains to b seen.. but if you don't go you can't moan about how crappy it was for the next 5 years.. 'I went to one of those once and it was all things bad' .. compared to 'I was going to go to one 5 years ago and bottled it after someone on the internet with the social skills of a lettuce said not to and now I am a hermit!'

Chlorine7

I went and ended up staying for about 4 hours. It was a nice time and I spoke to people I really usually wouldn't. Those who did already know others were pretty open and welcoming. Some people who hadn't been to that specific Meetup before were happy to just plop themselves into a conversation, which was something I'm not quite brave enough to do.


I asked lots of questions as advised, tried to find things people wanted to talk about which generally were football, food and travel. Nice easy topics.


I also got asked out at the end of the night, which is not what I'm looking for so I got an ego boost (yay) and felt a bit awkward at the same time for having to say no thank you.

Firetastic

Glad you had a great time. Wish there were more meetups round here so I could go.

Detroit

Chlorine7 wrote: »

I went and ended up staying for about 4 hours. It was a nice time and I spoke to people I really usually wouldn't. Those who did already know others were pretty open and welcoming. Some people who hadn't been to that specific Meetup before were happy to just plop themselves into a conversation, which was something I'm not quite brave enough to do.


I asked lots of questions as advised, tried to find things people wanted to talk about which generally were football, food and travel. Nice easy topics.


I also got asked out at the end of the night, which is not what I'm looking for so I got an ego boost (yay) and felt a bit awkward at the same time for having to say no thank you.

Wow. I think that counts as a pretty successful night! Just goes to show fortune favours the brave!:beer:

toniq

My 21 year old who has crippling shyness goes to local meetups and she has loved it, her first was a very cliquey indian meal and she came home in tears as they ignored her but she persevered and now goes out weekly and has made herself a little social life from it, small steps but good small steps, lots of luck x