Money Moral Dilemma: Is it OK to give a birthday present two months late?

Former_MSE_Nick

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

A relative's birthday was at the end of May, but the family were coming to visit them in mid-July and so decided to bring the gifts with them when they came down, presumably to save posting them. I thought it was a bit off!

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are purely intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

This week's dilemma came from the forum - see the original thread here.

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scotsbob

There is a difference between presents and birthday presents.


You have 364 days to organise getting a birthday present on time. if you can't manage that then what you give later is just a present. Still perfectly acceptable, no doubt, but it's not a birthday present.

InA

MSE_Nick wrote: »

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

A relative's birthday was at the end of May, but the family were coming to visit them in mid-July and so decided to bring the gifts with them when they came down, presumably to save posting them. I thought it was a bit off!

Don't see the big deal; I personally wouldn't mind at all. You're making assumptions about why the gifts weren't posted but it could be argued that they felt delivering the presents in person added a more personal touch.

gettingtheresometime

MSE please this is getting ridiculous.

This question was posted on this very board a few weeks ago.

Please stop these posts; none of the dilemmas are ever black & white and as usually the devil is in the detail.

Sloppy lazy journalism and I've come to expect better from MSE

penarthian

I think this is ok as long as birthday is acknowledged by a card/ phone call . Bringing a gift rather than posting it opens up a whole range of possibilities, for example I would avoid posting pottery and glassware and stick to books and fabrics.

CapricornLass

Depends on circumstances. I always posted one of my nephew's present (birthday in Jan) when I sent the presents for his sister and brother (birthdays within 2 days of each other in March). It meant that when his siblings went to spend their birthday tokens, he too had a token to spend.

Never ever had any complaints!

mellymoo74

This was posted what feels.like 10 mins ago
Can you not check and at least leave it long enough that we stand a chance of having good forgotten

newpuppy

Instead of feeling miffed, how about a bit of gratitude? Whatever the reasons for somebody giving a present early, late or spot on time, they have at least been good enough to make the effort and are trying to bring a little happiness. They're not usually trying to upset anyone.

gloriouslyhappy

I have young family overseas, and long ago stopped posting anything as it so often didn't arrive, even cards go missing. An e-card is always sent on time for the occasion, and whenever anyone visits here or goes over there, a suitcase of presents for everyone is part of the luggage.

Satisfaction all round, and no more ill-gotten gains for the thieves! Works for us, the fact that a present is 'late' is irrelevant.

Mouseboy007

Not enough information:

"A relative's birthday was at the end of May, but the family were coming to visit them in mid-July":
What is the relation between the parties?
Are they all adults?
Is the recipient of the gift a child?
If so, how old?

What is the ongoing relationship?
Is it a distant relationship?
Is it a closely bonded relationship?

"and so decided to bring the gifts with them when they came down, presumably to save posting them":
How often do they usually come down?
How far is it for them to travel?
How convenient is it for them to travel in terms of cost and time?

"I thought it was a bit off!":
In what regard particularly did you think it was off?
Is it an extremely close relationship and historically gifts have been
posted on time, every time, for the last 8 years, by affluent persons
who had set the expectations of a 12yr old girl?
OR
Is it a distant relationship, the family members are not very well off,
and the recipient is a middle-aged man, with no expectation of a gift
anyway, but is nonetheless happy to see their occasional family
members?

SewerSide

What I usually do for family I'm not going to see, is order from Amazon and give their address as the delivery address.