Money Moral Dilemma: Is it OK to give a birthday present two months late?

fatpiggy

I have sent a card and phoned my Mum on her birthday several times and said her present would be along later personally delivered by me because it was too big or fragile to post, or I had booked us a birthday treat when she came up to visit a few months later. I live hundreds of miles from my family and don't see them all that often. I think Mum quite likes having an extra treat to look forward to after the event. Apart from my immediate family, no-one has remembered my birthday in over 35 years, and even my family forget it sometimes, or are late (or never) send me anything. I spent my 21st entirely alone so I guess I'm used to it by now.

happyinflorida

For a child it would be cruel to wait but for an adult, whilst I understand you being a bit annoyed by what they have done, I think it just about acceptable to do this - especially if they're not that well off at all.

If it's to bring a present which is fragile it is the only course of action as things get broken very easily with the post office or courier companies and I would not trust anything fragile to them ever now after seeing the state so many things arrive in nowadays.

UrbanFox

Am I the only one who considers a birthday present (or any gift) a privilege rather than a right? As such it is not the place of the recipient or other onlookers to pass judgement. Even if you think its a bit 'off' what are you going to do about it? Refuse to accept the gift because the deadline has passed?

I have often received Christmas and birthday presents from relatives who live far away months later -- during my childhood and as an adult. Personally, I'm just happy they thought of me at all.

In fact, I find it often makes more impact to have gifts spread out rather than receiving loads at the same time, and forgetting exactly who gave what.

hazyjo

I received a birthday pressie last week from a friend. My birthday's in April. When we meet, someone's always handing over a belated present as we like to give them and open them face to face. We can't all make every meet-up, so it's just the way it is. No offence taken.


I also quite often give kids' Christmas presents to my friends in Jan or Feb when I see them - we're often too busy to meet up in December. The kids love having a present to open late - they certainly aren't going to miss one random present from their mum's friend at Christmas!


Jx

consultant31

As an adult, I'd just be thrilled that someone wanted to give me a gift, late or not, makes no difference. Perhaps they hadn't any spare cash when it was your actual birthday? Perhaps they ordered something which didn't turn up? Who knows, just be grateful for what you get.....well that's my philosophy anyway

ButterflyLC

Stop being so ungrateful, accept the gift ans say thank you. This is very acceptable to do. What if the family wanted to see the look on the relatives face when they opened the gift? Some people are old fashioned and see no sentiment in sending a gift, but would rather enjoy the moment of giving a gift. I doubt it was because they were cheap and chose not to send by post.

PasturesNew

Once you're older than about 12 getting a birthday present late isn't such an issue.

Kid with no presents on the day = disaster.
Adult with a present from somebody a couple of months late = "thanks for the present" ... it's no biggie.

Anybody who gets upset by that needs a reality check!

pigpen

this was done to death on a very recent post... you could at least steal a 'dilemma' from a different board!!

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5488485

tallgirld

I don't think it's a problem. Better than no present at all!!!!

HiToAll

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

MSE please this is getting ridiculous.

This question was posted on this very board a few weeks ago.

Please stop these posts; none of the dilemmas are ever black & white and as usually the devil is in the detail.

Sloppy lazy journalism and I've come to expect better from MSE

Is that not the point of them as if the answer was obvious where would the attempt at debate be.