Bit of a family crisis. In fact a massive one.

apeshape

Agree with consensus.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I'd step back. They aren't ready for help.

And never make comments to somebody that far along that suggest that maybe they should have had (or should have) a termination; it's never going to go down well.

apeshape

For the record, I'm not sibling B. I'm his friend from childhood.

cyantist

It sounds like an awful situation, but agree with jojo. Really what on earth was he thinking suggesting to someone who is over half way along with their pregnancy that now isn't the time to be starting a family?

msb5262

cyantist wrote: »

It sounds like an awful situation, but agree with jojo. Really what on earth was he thinking suggesting to someone who is over half way along with their pregnancy that now isn't the time to be starting a family?

This. And it is rather disingenuous to suggest that this was a "supportive email"!

Person_one

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

And never make comments to somebody [STRIKE]that far along[/STRIKE] that suggest that maybe they should have had (or should have) a termination

Agree with the sentiment, but needed a minor edit!

FBaby

Is there religion involved? Seems like family is very much involved in the business of sibling A and his wife. Surely it is their lives and they do what they want?

peachyprice

Thoughts? They're all adults, let sibling A and his wife live their life the way they choose. They're old enough to make their own mistakes and deal with the aftermath.

balletshoes

I don't really get the dynamic of the family from the OP I'm afraid.

A is abroad working, and has been for the last few years. His wife is with him. "a few years" to me would mean he has settled there to all intents and purposes (for now, anyway).

"Sibling A visited home on average 1-2 weeks per year over the past 3 years causing significant strain and unease within family.
Time goes on, family wants A to return and has been close to tears trying to convince A to come back on numerous occasions."

why are the family putting such pressure on A to return? If all he gets is grief about coming home when he does come back to visit, I'm not at all surprised he does so only a couple of weeks per year.

"an absolute sh** storm of emotion gets directed at sibling B by one parent despite B staying near home and supporting parents loyally, tirelessly and faithfully during A's time being absent.
Now sibling B has had enough, previously very close to family but in despair about the whole situation does not want to even speak to any member of his family. Ignores emails, phones etc."

Despair about what exactly? If even part of the sh**storm B got from a parent was about suggesting now isn't the right time for A and his wife to be starting a family, that sh**storm was right on the money!The "supportive" email doesn't sound like it was at all supportive, if, as you say OP, B sent the email
"explaining situation to suggest that under such difficult circumstances for both of them it may not be time to be starting a family."

OP clearly there are faults on all sides here (eg an adult borrowing money more than a couple of times to see them through from family, when theres already stress and worry in the mix between them all, isn't going to help matters). but sibling B was certainly not in the right emailing his sister-in-law to say what he said about her pregnancy.

What do I think I'd do in B's position? I think I'd need to apologise to my sister-in-law and brother first of all, and take it from there.

pinkshoes

Sibling B should stop interfering, as sibling A is an adult and can live and do as they please.

suejb2

My dad has a saying..." You've made your bed now lie in it."
Sibling A has made these choices and decisions whilst over living there, he's big enough and old enough to live with them.
Sibling B should apologise for the insensitive email and then back off