Brother wants to rent a room from us

GobbledyGook

My BIL lives with us as he's saving for a deposit. He pays a small token amount (£150 a month) which basically pays for extra food and toiletries (like loo roll and basic shampoos - anything fancy or different he buys himself). He cooks one night a week for everyone, and has 2 jobs in the house that are 'his' - taking out the bins and hoovering upstairs.

Things to think about - we all get on brilliantly, but it was the teeny things that caused niggles in the early days.

what happens if you and he want to watch something on tv at the same time?
How will another person impact the morning routine in the house? (ours only works because of ensuite, another person wanting in the main bathroom would be a nightmare).
Settle an agreement over food, nothing will annoy you more than making dinner for him and then him not coming home. Do you cook, eat then wash up or cook, wash up then eat - if you all do different it could get annoying.
What happens if he wants to stay out all night? Will he call you/text you as a courtesy or will that seem too parentish?
How much stuff will he bring and where will it all go? Will he put photos of his son up? Paintings on the fridge? What about his sons toys? Also how will his son staying affect your life - late nights etc
Will you still feel comfortable lounging about in your jammies?

Also, may sound random, but will having another person in the house with ears affect your sex life (might be ok for a couple of months, but if it lasts longer it could get tedious).

Lastly, after he moves out you'll not see as much as your nephew so think about the impact of that on you and him.

It works really well for us. In fact BIL has his deposit and could have moved out, but we're all happy for him to wait for the perfect place because we enjoy his company, the kids love having him here and he loves having daily time with his nieces/nephews, but I can see how it can easily go wrong.

[Deleted User]

Phew someone who loves their brother and sees them in an positive light in the long run at long last lol. I was beginning to get a very unfavourable view of the human race lol!

Mojisola

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Things to think about - we all get on brilliantly, but it was the teeny things that caused niggles in the early days.

but I can see how it can easily go wrong.

deannatrois wrote: »

Phew someone who loves their brother and sees them in an positive light in the long run at long last lol. I was beginning to get a very unfavourable view of the human race lol!

Lots of us love our family and friends but that doesn't mean we could share living space with all of them.

While this kind of arrangement can work very well, it's usually because some thought has been put into how easily it can go wrong and how to manage expectations and everyone involved is willing to speak up quickly before the niggles become big issues.

hazyjo

Mojisola wrote: »

Lots of us love our family and friends but that doesn't mean we could share living space with all of them.

While this kind of arrangement can work very well, it's usually because some thought has been put into how easily it can go wrong and how to manage expectations and everyone involved is willing to speak up quickly before the niggles become big issues.

Indeed. I love my mum to bits. We talk every night. But even a night there is a bit much for me! Two nights would be pushing it, and I think a week or month would have me committed We live very differently. I take things slow and calmly, she's like a bull in a china shop. She's only around a size 8 and tiny, but you'd think she was 20 stone the way she runs up the stairs. I worry she'll go through a floorboard one day. She is up early, she hoovers every morning (my friends never wanted to stay over when I was young as the hoover was on at around 7am lol. Entire house. She mops her kitchen/diner floor every day. She can't leave anything not done. When she loads the dishwasher, it's crash bang wallop and I have to cover my ears. Things get dropped on the tiles a lot too. She whips your cup/glass/plate away often before you've finished, or if you go to refill it, it's long gone. She thinks alcohol comes from the devil (okay, she makes a glass of wine last all night if out for dinner with friends), but she bangs on about it during most conversations (my BIL is a bit of a p-head which causes lots of rows in her house which my mum gets far too involved with)...


You can love someone, but doesn't mean you can live with them


Jx

DigForVictory

Take him in for three months. Charge him nothing, but sit with him to do an SOA (& post it here!), get him to keep a spending diary, encourage him to take Martin's money challenge.
After three months, he should have a new place sorted (especially if he's earning more than your husband) and steady MSE reading can only help his financial nous.

I love my kin family but *couldn't* live with them. I've a husband & children without adding extra folk without some very clear guidelines. MSE strikes me as the right place to get all sorts of useful lessons imparted!

Best of luck