How important is it to enjoy your job?

theoretica

Have you priced up renting out your current home and renting somewhere else?

Could you be the one to commute/work from home some of the time?

Detroit

Neither of these jobs sound right for you.There's issues with your current one and the compromises of the new one sound huge.
Good thing there's not only two jobs in the world!
The new option has focused your thinking on your current job dissatisfaction, so take it as a sign to start serious job hunting. There's a third option out there somewhere.

skea56

I used to be in a job contracted to 30 hours which suited me perfectly as I was looking after my aunt along with my sister.
However towards the end I was working closer to 45 hours as I had to stay longer and go in a weekends.
My phone never stopped even when at home,and I cried myself to sleep most nights-I had to take sleeping aids just to get a half decent nights sleep. I was constantly tired and irritable and took it out on my family.
The relief I felt the Friday I decided to leave was immense-I turned off the phone and slept for 15 hours. I had nothing to go to and it was 3 weeks before Christmas but I was elated.

It was Feb before I found another job, it was shorter hours,less money and 30 extra mins on my commute but I love it.

It's slightly different than your situation but if it is affecting you mentally...make a change. I put up with it for almost a year and it nearly broke me,don't let that happen to you

Sk56

balletshoes

sink_or_swim wrote: »

I am not enjoying my job and my old company have asked me to go back to a better role paying more than I earn currently
but a lot of other aspects of our life would suffer and there are so many more reasons not to take the job than to take it.

Are we mad for even considering it? What would you give up to ensure you were happy and stress-free at work?

You've answered your own question OP, but I'll ask you to quantify for yourself - all the other aspects of your life that would suffer, and all the many reasons not to take the new job, how do they stack up against job satisfaction, for you?

Personally, I have worked for the same employer for the last 32 years, I don't have a career, some of it has been mind-numbingly boring, but what makes up for it, for me, are the people I work with, they make my job bearable (and often enjoyable).

sink_or_swim

Deleted%20User wrote: »

Depends to on why you left this old company? (honestly not just the current cons list)

I left my other job for a combination of reasons. Mainly I had wanted to work for my current company for a long time but the day to day reality is different. There were a few smaller drivers like the head of department then was a nightmare and could be a bit of a bully but they have since left.

theoretica wrote: »

Have you priced up renting out your current home and renting somewhere else?
Could you be the one to commute/work from home some of the time?

We wouldn’t be able to rent it out for enough, and would struggle to rent anywhere with our pets. I really don’t think I’m cut out to be a landlord either. With such a huge mortgage, if tenants didn’t pay for one month for whatever reason, we would be screwed.

I could work from home a maximum of 1 day a week really, and as there would be some travel involved, I could travel from my current home more easily anyway. It would still mean commuting an awful lot or more likely, staying there 3/4 days a week and working from home the rest of the time. If I decided this job is what I want to do, I would ask if I could work from home as much as possible to start, until we could sort things out more permanently.

Detroit wrote: »

Neither of these jobs sound right for you.There's issues with your current one and the compromises of the new one sound huge.
Good thing there's not only two jobs in the world!
The new option has focused your thinking on your current job dissatisfaction, so take it as a sign to start serious job hunting. There's a third option out there somewhere.

I agree this is probably the ideal situation. I have been looking for a while now and I know there must be other jobs out there but I really am very restricted in what I can do. I spent hours looking last night and didn’t find a single thing I could apply for which didn’t come with a huge pay cut. Those that only require a modest pay cut I apply for but never hear back. I have signed up to receive job alerts so maybe the ideal thing will come up but it is quite disheartening.

skea56 wrote: »

I used to be in a job contracted to 30 hours which suited me perfectly as I was looking after my aunt along with my sister.
However towards the end I was working closer to 45 hours as I had to stay longer and go in a weekends.
My phone never stopped even when at home,and I cried myself to sleep most nights-I had to take sleeping aids just to get a half decent nights sleep. I was constantly tired and irritable and took it out on my family.
The relief I felt the Friday I decided to leave was immense-I turned off the phone and slept for 15 hours. I had nothing to go to and it was 3 weeks before Christmas but I was elated.
It was Feb before I found another job, it was shorter hours,less money and 30 extra mins on my commute but I love it.
It's slightly different than your situation but if it is affecting you mentally...make a change. I put up with it for almost a year and it nearly broke me,don't let that happen to you
Sk56

I’m glad it all worked out for you and I don’t blame you for leaving that environment. While my situation isn’t as bad as yours was, it could get worse and I don’t want that.

balletshoes wrote: »

You've answered your own question OP, but I'll ask you to quantify for yourself - all the other aspects of your life that would suffer, and all the many reasons not to take the new job, how do they stack up against job satisfaction, for you?

I don’t know. I know I’m unhappy with my job and that underlies so much I do. I love spending time with my husband, commuting to work and back together, being able to meet up on our lunch breaks, etc but at the moment I seem to spend most of that time whinging about my job! I just don’t know if a better job would make up for having less time with him, and having to move from our house. There are other houses, even if we have to pay exactly the same as we get for this one and he certainly wants me to be happier.

cadon

I don't think it's important to enjoy your job, but I do think it's important to not absolutely hate it. If your job makes you miserable, it spills over into the rest of your life and affects your relationships with loved ones. I've been there - you become a moany cow, and on some level, you're aware of how negative you are, but you can't stop it. A toxic work environment can really break a person.

In terms of whether this job is the right exit route for you... I don't know about you, but it could be the best job in the world and I would end up hating it if it resulted in what I felt to be an unreasonable daily commute. Everyone has their own personal limits. Don't be optimistic about this - "oh, I'll get used to it" - no, you won't. It would be sad to have a fantastic job and still not enjoy work.

Going back to an old company is a bit like going back to an ex-partner - it's a bit weird, and often doesn't last. You suggest you made a mistake in leaving, but you did leave - and just because you have some friends at that company doesn't mean there aren't people above you bearing grudges. I know a number of senior people who categorically would never hold any loyalty to someone who left them once. Unreasonable maybe, but that doesn't stop it from being true.

I think you should focus on getting out of your current job, but don't pin all your hopes of, well, "a better life" effectively on this old employer. You're making this other job your only other option and I'm not sure it is. Keep looking. In the meantime, I do sympathise.

jetplane

I don't think you are mad for considering it, and being happy at work is good. Going to work every day to a job you hate can make a person very ill.

How unhappy are you, does it keep you awake, make you cry and feel ill or is it frustration and feeling discontent? It sounds like you eventually won't be happy with the commute and family contact with the old job and if the travel negates the pay rise then what reasons have you to return?

You are not happy in your new job and feel unappreciated so it is easy to start thinking negatively and actually convince yourself that it has no good points. You can't afford to move home so may feel trapped?

I agree with the poster above, unless it's making you ill, look for another job and meanwhile enjoy your new home, family time. Could you make a pact that when you commute and meet for lunch you won't moan about work. Agree to have a certain time of the day where you can offload and leave it there?

Good luck

sink_or_swim

That's exactly it cadon. I am becoming really negative. When my friends now ask me how I am I usually start with “miserable at work” or “jobhunting”. It takes over everything. But a major issue is it is very hard to find other jobs I am qualified to do. I found one this weekend that I will apply for but one of the essential criteria I don’t quite satisfy and even if I did get it, it would still mean a small pay cut and an increase in my commuting time. I have been looking now for over a year. Work gets slightly better at times and I’m less unhappy, but it’s always just a matter of time before something else happens and I’m feeling rubbish about things again. But in that year of looking there have been 3 jobs I could apply for. One I thought I was absolutely perfect for and I didn’t even get an interview. The second I know is so competitive about 200 people apply for every job opening and so I wasn’t surprised I heard nothing back. I am worrying that my old job is my only chance to get out of this current role and I can’t face being in the position where 12 months down the line I’ve still not managed to find anything else and I’m still stuck here, but they’ve filled the position at my old work and even that is no longer an option.

Regarding the people above me holding grudges. There would only be two people above me. One is the head of the company and the other is a relatively new member of staff who started around the time I left. There is an unwritten policy of not employing people who leave, but the big boss has said if I ever want to go back for whatever reason, I just need to call him and there is always a job for me there (as long as he is there anyway). I think that is something that makes me consider this more. It is very important to me to feel valued and appreciated at work and the fact that they have confidence that I would be good for this position makes me want to take it.

jetplane wrote: »

How unhappy are you, does it keep you awake, make you cry and feel ill or is it frustration and feeling discontent? It sounds like you eventually won't be happy with the commute and family contact with the old job and if the travel negates the pay rise then what reasons have you to return?

You are not happy in your new job and feel unappreciated so it is easy to start thinking negatively and actually convince yourself that it has no good points. You can't afford to move home so may feel trapped?

Good luck

Thanks. It does keep me awake, and it makes me feel ill and cry quite a bit. More recently I actually dread getting up and going to work. It’s very frustrating because I know I have so much to be grateful for and it is sometimes hard to focus on that when the thing you spend most of your time doing makes you feel rubbish.
I think we could afford to move. We have a decent amount of equity in our house. It’s just whether we could get anything as nice for the same or less money.

pickledonionspaceraider

I escaped a hellish job at the back end of last year. It went far beyond 'not enjoying work' and I will say it was one of the best decisions I have made in my adult life to leave that job

It sounds like you are swapping a job you do not enjoy for two potential outcomes
1- a job you will grow to hate as you will have given up so much for it
2- your relationship with your husband friends and family as you live so far away from them

cadon

sink_or_swim wrote: »

But a major issue is it is very hard to find other jobs I am qualified to do. I found one this weekend that I will apply for but one of the essential criteria I don’t quite satisfy and even if I did get it, it would still mean a small pay cut and an increase in my commuting time. I have been looking now for over a year. Work gets slightly better at times and I’m less unhappy, but it’s always just a matter of time before something else happens and I’m feeling rubbish about things again. But in that year of looking there have been 3 jobs I could apply for. One I thought I was absolutely perfect for and I didn’t even get an interview. The second I know is so competitive about 200 people apply for every job opening and so I wasn’t surprised I heard nothing back.

A bloke once told me that women have a natural tendency to only apply for jobs where they meet all of the criteria perfectly, whereas men just apply for jobs. A straw poll of my inner circle supported that theory, and it made me determined to reject the stereotype and apply for jobs I thought I'd be good at, even if I knew I didn't tick every box.

I'm now in a job I enjoy. True story. I don't have all the essential experience for my current job, but I have a willingness to learn, they have a willingness to train me, and I'm bringing all kinds of other skills that they didn't realise they wanted or needed until I rocked up.

You got this job, and you have an informal offer to go back to your old one - it strikes me that you must have some skills and it's too soon to settle for something that only makes you a little bit less fed up. Keep looking, but expand your search to include those jobs which aren't a perfect match for your experience, because if you're a good match for the company, they will still be interested in you.