Who pays for headstone and buriel of ashes

MissLE

Hi, Hoping someone can help me.. My estranged father came back into my life end of April (he was in a coma) and died 3 days later. I was contacted as next of kin and contacted his family who he was also estranged from. My brother and me have agreed to pay the funeral out of his money money that we are inheriting but his family (mainly one sister) has said we have to pay for his ashes to be buried & for his headstone.. We didn't have any input into the funeral and they assumed they new hoe much we were inheriting and have gone over board on the funeral. My question is do we have to pay for the ashes & headstone?

Faith177

It is meant to come from the estate as far as I'm aware

GwylimT

Whoever has the contract with the undertaker etc pays.

Generali

The funeral is paid for by the estate if there is money in it. Funeral costs take second level of precedence after secured debt (e.g. a mortgage)

http://www.ageuk.org.uk/money-matters/legal-issues/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/paying-for-a-funeral/

Sorry if this sounds harsh but if you had a problem with the funeral costs you probably needed to raise this before rather than after the money was spent.

martinbuckley

Inheritance is what is left after all debts (inc funeral expenses & legal bills) are settled. It is the responsibility of the executor to make sure this happens. The executor is not necessarily a beneficiary, and should act to ensure the deceased is buried with dignity.

Yorkshireman99

MissLE wrote: »

Hi, Hoping someone can help me.. My estranged father came back into my life end of April (he was in a coma) and died 3 days later. I was contacted as next of kin and contacted his family who he was also estranged from. My brother and me have agreed to pay the funeral out of his money money that we are inheriting but his family (mainly one sister) has said we have to pay for his ashes to be buried & for his headstone.. We didn't have any input into the funeral and they assumed they new hoe much we were inheriting and have gone over board on the funeral. My question is do we have to pay for the ashes & headstone?

Whoever ordered the funeral is liable to pay for it likewise the headstone. Reasonable costs of the funeral can be claimed from the estate but it is up to the executor to decide. You have no legal liability to pay. Is there a will? Who is the executor

Mojisola

[QUOTE=MissLE;70870885
My brother and me have agreed to pay the funeral out of his money money that we are inheriting

My question is do we have to pay for the ashes & headstone?[/QUOTE]

As others have said, the funeral costs come out of the estate before anyone inherits anything.

You have not spent any of your inheritance on the funeral - that money was never yours.

Hermia

In addition to all the legal stuff already mentioned, one thing to bear in mind is that it is not necessary to have an expensive ashes burial or have a headstone. I have had ashes scattered/buried in a local National Trust park (I got permission). If a member of the family had particularly wanted a headstone I would have suggested they arrange it themselves as everyone else was happy with them being scattered.

Savvy_Sue

I'm not aware you need to do anything with the ashes at all. If the FD demands you pick them up, then ask them to dispose of them. And no need for a headstone either.

Mojisola

Hermia wrote: »

In addition to all the legal stuff already mentioned, one thing to bear in mind is that it is not necessary to have an expensive ashes burial or have a headstone.

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I'm not aware you need to do anything with the ashes at all. If the FD demands you pick them up, then ask them to dispose of them. And no need for a headstone either.

I agree with the above posts. The funeral costs have to come out of the estate but burial of ashes and headstones are an optional extra.

If his family want the ashes disposed of this way, suggest that they share the cost between themselves. Otherwise, offer to scatter the ashes or let one of them keep them.

MissLE

Thank you. There was no estate (he rented a room) & no will only a pension scheme that agreed to pay for the funeral only and then gave the rest of the money to my brother & me as benificarys. To all you rude people would just like to say I am only 26 my father was 54 and am unsure about these things as I'm sure many of you probably were at 26!!