Dinner invite etiquette

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I'm a bit puzzled as to why it would make a difference if there's other people there or not- your basic behaviour remains unchanged (ie polite chit-chat, eating with your gob shut, not picking your nose etc).

The only time I can imagine it being awkward would be if there was a dish of car keys prominently on the table and you were asked if you wanted to "join in"....

Lily-Rose_3

Whenever we are asked out to someone's house for dinner, I do actually ask 'is anyone else coming?' out of blatant curiosity. I would like to know who I am going to be spending the evening with.

But I have never gone to someone's house and found other people there as well.

On a slightly different note, a girl I used to know (previously knew her from work,) asked me to meet for a Costa several years back, and I went to meet her for a coffee and a chat (hadn't seen her for 3 months.)

When I got there, she was accompanied by another girl. Apparently a work colleague of hers. She introduced me, and the girl gave a weak half smile, and apart from that, she didn't really speak to me. I tried several times to make conversation with her, but she wasn't interested.

It was really awkward. I normally spend 1.5 to 2 hours with a friend when we meet for coffee, but I made an excuse and left after 40 minutes.

Not sure why this old friend of mine decided to bring someone else, but if she had mentioned it to me that this girl was coming, I would have said 'that's OK, you go for a drink with her and we'll arrange another coffee date for the 2 of us.' I wanted to meet up with and chat to my friend/old work colleague, and not have some person who was a stranger to me, sitting there ignoring me and talking over me.

But yeah, if I was asked to dinner and others were there who had not been mentioned, I would be surprised, but I would still stay probably. Unless I felt uncomfortable for some reason.

LOL I remember going to a party once, (a neighbour's) and one of their extended family (a cousin) asked me and my hubby if we had kids, and I said 'yeah a daughter.' The woman said 'we've got 2 boys. I hate girls. All spoilt brats, all of them.' Her husband nodded.

Ooooookay! We stayed about another 10 minutes and sloped off out the back. I don't think we were even missed! :rotfl:

Mojisola

Jagraf wrote: »

Have you ever been to dinner at a friends house or family, to find out when you get there (not beforehand) that other people have been invited too?

Had it happen the other way - been invited to a 'party' only to find I was the only guest. Creepy - didn't stay long.

onomatopoeia99

Were I inviting people to my home for a meal I would tell them if they weren't the only invitee(s), after all not everyone enjoys large groups and they may decline if they find there are going to be a dozen others (not that there ever would be in my little house!)

Spendless

Mojisola wrote: »

Had it happen the other way - been invited to a 'party' only to find I was the only guest. Creepy - didn't stay long.

Was there more than one person hosting this 'party'? :eek:

Mojisola

Spendless wrote: »

Was there more than one person hosting this 'party'? :eek:

No, just him and me - and I wouldn't have gone on a date with him so the 'party' was subterfuge to get me alone with him!

kelpie35

I wouldn't be bothered as I hate cooking and love being invited for a meal

Andypandyboy

Yes, I would always tell guests in advance that others had been invited. It wouldn't bother me though if I wasn't told, I can talk to anyone so I would just go with the flow.

Jagraf

tea_lover wrote: »

It's good manners to go out of your way to invite people into your home and feed them. It's not good manners to moan about the fact they've invited others there too.

I agree with both of those - but isn't it also good manners for the host to say who's coming (or at least say there will be others present).

Jagraf

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Were I inviting people to my home for a meal I would tell them if they weren't the only invitee(s), after all not everyone enjoys large groups and they may decline if they find there are going to be a dozen others (not that there ever would be in my little house!)

I agree with this. a small gathering is completely different to a large one (both are nice).