Dinner invite etiquette

Jagraf

Have you ever been to dinner at a friends house or family, to find out when you get there (not beforehand) that other people have been invited too?

I personally tell people in advance if anyone else is invited as I think it's good manners to do so, I just wondered what others thought.

jackieblack

I couldn't care less, does it matter?

moneyistooshorttomention

Not necessary to do so imo.

But then I've even invited people for meals and given them permission during the course of the meal to ring up someone else and invite them round too - as I'd obviously made too much food for us all.

Add that I'm from a "social group" that is used to having "bring and share" meals - not something that seems to happen so much in my new area of the country (but it happens a lot in my home area).

So - I dont think it would occur to me to tell Person A that Persons B and C were also coming and I tend to be quite "hot" on what manners dictate should happen.

Nargleblast

Seems odd to me that someone issuing such an invitation would not mention others were coming as well, I certainly would.....but hey ho, horses for courses and all that.

MandM90

Jagraf wrote: »

Have you ever been to dinner at a friends house or family, to find out when you get there (not beforehand) that other people have been invited too?

I personally tell people in advance if anyone else is invited as I think it's good manners to do so, I just wondered what others thought.

If I turned up and there were other people there, I'd be slightly surprised it hadn't been mentioned, but wouldn't think it was bad manners. If it's not me who has to feed them, it's not my problem :rotfl:

pollypenny

I think I would expect others to be there unless it was an ordinary midweek meal which I was joining for some reason.

It is a bit odd not to mention who else will be there. No one would invite people who dislike each other, surely?

tea_lover

It's good manners to go out of your way to invite people into your home and feed them. It's not good manners to moan about the fact they've invited others there too.

Hemera

I would think it's up to you to ask? I'd actually find a little pretentious if one of my guests was annoyed by the fact I didn't explicitly mention that there were other invitees. If they ask, I'll assume they just want to know whether the event will be busy, or how much wine to bring so nothing wrong with that. But being offended by the host not having mentioned who's coming seems a little strange - it's their house, they can invite whoever they want and they are doing you a favour by inviting you.

As I said, I do understand why you'd want to know in advance, but if it was so important you'd remember to ask, surely?

TeamPlum

I never get invited anywhere for dinner. Can't imagine why.

DigForVictory

I'm clear on who else is coming when I know there has been disagreement between folk - we had a big picnic & godfather & his ex were invited, but both knew, for example.

Ordinarily, I don't have more than one person or couple as guests at a time so I can cosset them properly.

cyantist

jackieblack wrote: »

I couldn't care less, does it matter?

Sometimes it might. This happened to me and I said I'd bring dessert, never thought there might be more than just 4 of us. We turned up with these individual desserts and there weren't enough for everyone there.

Other than that it wouldn't bother me at all.