Partner fired right before I started maternity leave :(

Melibu1984_2

My partner lost his job a few weeks ago, literally a couple of weeks before I started maternity leave. He was fired for gross misconduct. i am not sure of exactly what happened; all he has said is that he made a decision that went against protocol (he works in IT). They must have really liked him before that, though, as they gave him 3 months pay in lieu of notice, even though he had only been with them since November.

The dismissal has completely knocked his confidence, and he is spending most of his time playing on his Xbox instead of looking for another job! He gets angry and worried about money and our unborn son all the time (I am 40 weeks pregnant as of today), as well as worrying about his parents, who are both ill.

I really don't know how to get him to think more positively, as I think this would really help him with the job search.

I'm very worried to, but I am trying to hide it. If he doesn't find another job in the next few months, I will need to end my maternity leave early and go back to work sad

I'm also wondering if anyone has any advice on dealing with being fired for gross misconduct. What should he be telling recruiters? I think it might also be a good idea for him to try temping work in the meantime, as they are generally less fussy about previously employment issues

Any advice would really be appreciated!

Please don't say he has lied to me about his reasons for being fired, as I have already had this on another forum, and I know he definitely has not

Thanks in advance.

tomtontom

He needs a kick up the backside. He has a child on the way, this is not the time for him to be acting like a child himself.

I would agree about temping being a way back into work, but if the subject of his dismissal comes up he needs to be honest about what he did, why he did it, lessons learned etc.

undaunted

Temping may be worth a try, though agencies may also be dubious under the circumstances. If you think he's becoming depressed could you suggest a visit to the Dr perhaps? Although a foot up his backside given the situation did also cross my mind to be honest, as Tomtontom says you have a child on the way & he needs to get a grip particularly as he's the one who has landed you in this mess - even if the reason is true what was he thinking going against established protocol without reference to anyone when still very new to the job?


I don't think he's necessarily lieing about why he was fired but it seems unlikely to me he was fired for gross misconduct and given 3 months pay - you don't have any entitlement to notice if fired for gross misconduct - so perhaps he is lieing about that in order to ease your money worries whilst pregnant?

ohreally

Melibu1984 wrote: »

they gave him 3 months pay in lieu of notice, even though he had only been with them since November.

This is confusing. An accusation of GM would likely move the employer to show the door at 6 month mark, not to start a dismissal procedure and then exit with 3 months salary.

tomtontom

ohreally wrote: »

This is confusing. An accusation of GM would likely move the employer to show the door at 6 month mark, not to start a dismissal procedure and then exit with 3 months salary.

This is the query on the other forum (MN), why would they give him such a generous package for GM? I don't know the answer, bit something isn't right.

kazwookie

Odd that they gave 3 months salary, as he had only been there since |November. They did not need to do that.

1. get cv upto date
2. start looking for type of job that may suit
3. give you OH a talking too, tought or not, he needs to start getting something sorted.
4. sign on with temping agencies
5. you return to work asap and he stays at home and looks after the baby

good luck

iammumtoone

The fact is the OPs partner has lost his job, arguing about the facts of this isn't going to change that situation. Maybe he has not been 100% honest, that might be due to the fact he he doesn't want to upset/burden the OP just before she is to give birth, he might fully intend to come clean around the circumstances in a few months when the timing is better, my advise to the OP would to be not to push for details at this time but raise the point the situation does seem strange and you wish to talk further about it when you are in a better situation.

OP can you live off your wage? it is not ideal for you to cut your maternity leave but you will be leaving your baby in the care of its father, no different to what lots of fathers do leaving the baby in its mothers care when they return to work.

I would cut all unnecessary spending now. Do a SOA on your wage alone (look up what benefits you will entitled to) and go from there. Babies do not need much of monetary value, love from you and your partner is more than any money will ever buy.

Do you have family or friends that will be buying presents for the child, if they ask, ask for money. A few more days your baby can spend at home with you before you return to work will be worth more than a fancy baby grow/outfit they will only be in for a few months.

Regarding getting your OH motivated for work do your SOA and look at your situation together, this might give him the shock he needs to start looking.

Good Luck

ohreally

Op, focus his attention on getting paid work...

http://www.monster.co.uk/jobs/search/?q=carer&where=england&cy=uk&intcid=HP_HeroSearch
http://www.monster.co.uk/jobs/search/?q=kitchen+assistant&where=&cy=uk&intcid=HP_HeroSearch
http://www.monster.co.uk/jobs/search/?q=porter&where=&cy=uk&intcid=HP_HeroSearch
http://www.monster.co.uk/jobs/search/?q=cleaner&cy=uk

He can refine his job search while he's earning.

[Deleted User]

Recruitment Agencies can make people feel worse often whilst trying to push their own less than perfect opportunities because they have something to hide too - go direct to an employer where possible, 'bottom of the ladder' where it requires it if the need is so great.

(Some will appreciate honesty, some won't.) He just has to find out what works in getting it across and practise talking about it, perhaps it's actually far tougher for those who have never had to sell in their career.

(I sincerely hope he wasn't made redundant really and that this isn't his way of coping to say sacked.)

Your fella needs to pep himself up - here's hoping it might just happen when he meets baby for real better times ahead.

Mrs_Soup

If he is in IT he just needs to call back all the agencies that call all the time and send them his cv. Maybe some contracting for a bit to get back into things.

melibu1984

iammumtoone wrote: »

The fact is the OPs partner has lost his job, arguing about the facts of this isn't going to change that situation. Maybe he has not been 100% honest, that might be due to the fact he he doesn't want to upset/burden the OP just before she is to give birth, he might fully intend to come clean around the circumstances in a few months when the timing is better, my advise to the OP would to be not to push for details at this time but raise the point the situation does seem strange and you wish to talk further about it when you are in a better situation.

OP can you live off your wage? it is not ideal for you to cut your maternity leave but you will be leaving your baby in the care of its father, no different to what lots of fathers do leaving the baby in its mothers care when they return to work.

I would cut all unnecessary spending now. Do a SOA on your wage alone (look up what benefits you will entitled to) and go from there. Babies do not need much of monetary value, love from you and your partner is more than any money will ever buy.

Do you have family or friends that will be buying presents for the child, if they ask, ask for money. A few more days your baby can spend at home with you before you return to work will be worth more than a fancy baby grow/outfit they will only be in for a few months.

Regarding getting your OH motivated for work do your SOA and look at your situation together, this might give him the shock he needs to start looking.

Good Luck

Thank you, this has been very helpful. I will work out a budget with him, and hopefully that will give him a kick up the bum.

We are mostly set up, and so we don't really need anything else for our son. Luckily, my family and friends have already been very generous, even before this happened. My partner's dad bought us a pram and car seat, which saved us £500! :O

My income alone would just about cover the rent and household bills, and my travel to work. I take home about 1,500 but our rent is £1,000, so I would definitely need to apply for help. The system is so confusing though, I really don't know what I would be entitled to, so will have to do a lot of research.

Unfortunately, I can only cut back on the sky tv which is £32 roughly. Everything else is essential or in contract.