Large single Parent Family getting Debt free

kimplus8

We had a lovely day with a massively !!!!!! ending, had pancakes before school- yummy and was lovely family time out for a treat.
Me and the pre schoolers went into town and posted stuff in post office, went to the new Holland and Barrett and bought a few bit I needed for me (raspberry leaf tea and some breastfeeding vitamins) plus as its a new store opened just yesterday we got freebies and an additional 25% off!!!! Bonus!!!!
We took Sandwhiches and ate them on the bus on the way home and then the littl'es had nap time while I folded laundry and tidied up.
Did school run and then hot changed and back to school for the year 6 leavers bbq.
It was lovely as we took picnic blankets and snacks, the school PTA provided a free bbq and the kind ds had a fantastic time- some times the free stuff is the best!!
The massive downer was that on the way home the ex husband called the kids and upset 2 of them and they cried most of the way home
It then took me until 10 tonight to calm down dd9 and ds8 as they were both sobbing that daddy doesn't love them
I was livid but kept it together for them and didn't show them how angry with daddy I am. What an absolute bell end to do that to your kids.
Tomorrow we're off on a Roald Dahl day at our library- one of 6 Dahl themed events for the summer- I can't wait- the kids love his stories and Quintin blames drawings xx

Smodlet

Whatever is wrong with dix like him? He wants all these kids because he's Catholic yet sees no reason why he should pay for any of them, let alone support them in any emotional or practical sense?!

If I had my time over again, I would have preferred to know from the get-go that the tool that was supposed to be my father was a complete waste of space, rather than spend all those years wondering what was wrong with me that he did not even want to pay for my food, let alone love me. It can take a child decades to realise the fault lies not with them but with the thing that does not deserve to be a parent.

Give me a quick, clean break any day, rather than prolonging the agony only to find out your hollow fantasy was just that. Do you really want to maintain the pretense, rather than set your children free, Kim? Do you want DD9 to realise, finally, on her wedding day, that her darling father can't be arsed to show up because he never gave a !!!!, not back from when she was nine years old? Why do parents think they are protecting their children by maintaining a facade?

Sorry, tired, rant over. I meant every word, though.

kimplus8

Smodlet wrote: »

Whatever is wrong with dix like him? He wants all these kids because he's Catholic yet sees no reason why he should pay for any of them, let alone support them in any emotional or practical sense?!

If I had my time over again, I would have preferred to know from the get-go that the tool that was supposed to be my father was a complete waste of space, rather than spend all those years wondering what was wrong with me that he did not even want to pay for my food, let alone love me. It can take a child decades to realise the fault lies not with them but with the thing that does not deserve to be a parent.

Give me a quick, clean break any day, rather than prolonging the agony only to find out your hollow fantasy was just that. Do you really want to maintain the pretense, rather than set your children free, Kim? Do you want DD9 to realise, finally, on her wedding day, that her darling father can't be arsed to show up because he never gave a !!!!, not back from when she was nine years old? Why do parents think they are protecting their children by maintaining a facade?

Sorry, tired, rant over. I meant every word, though.

I've said that's it now. I'm not doing this to them anymore. The only time they are really happy is when he is out of their life. I need to protect their emotional wellbeing too and this is just horrendous for them.
I'm done with him,
I'm done covering for his hang overs and no shows and rearranging contact because he's decided that weekends out on the tiles are more important than seeing the kids.
Im done covering for him turning up drunk and smelling like an alchoholic and telling the kids- sorry you can't see daddy today because he's poorly.
I'm done with him finding a new drinking buddy and dating 17 year olds (he's almost 50!!!!) and then just dropping the kids like a lead balloon only to pick them up with false promises once he is bored and he's free time on his hands again.
He's a narssisistic, opportunist and I'm not allowing my poor kids to be let down over and over again anymore and balls to the whole 'kids need their father', not when he's doing this to them they don't!!!!
I'm drawing a line today and saying NOPE!!! :mad:
:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
Rant over! And breath

AnxiousHomemaker

Hi Kim, just catching up,sorry to see you have been feeling sad the last couple of days, it's hard work being a mummy and how you are doing it with 7 while growing another I don't know, you must be some kind of superhuman! Sounds like your ex is being lead by his current partner, its not really her place to be messaging you about the baby, he should grow a pair and do that himself, anyway it sounds like you a strong lady and you are not going to let him walk away from his responsibilities so freely and easily so good for you! sick to death of people thinking they can just swan around in their little bubbles with no regard for the world around them!

Well done to your daughter on her SATS! Sounds like she deserved the pancakes, sorry the day didn't end on a high though, what is wrong with people! good job the kiddies have their mamma!

Have a great weekend! xx

System

Stay strong Kim. You definitely know what's best for your little ones, and like you say, they will be better off without him anyway.
Hope you had a good Ronald dahl day - would love my local library to do that!

Smodlet

kimplus8 wrote: »

I've said that's it now. I'm not doing this to them anymore. The only time they are really happy is when he is out of their life. I need to protect their emotional wellbeing too and this is just horrendous for them.
I'm done with him,
I'm done covering for his hang overs and no shows and rearranging contact because he's decided that weekends out on the tiles are more important than seeing the kids.
Im done covering for him turning up drunk and smelling like an alchoholic and telling the kids- sorry you can't see daddy today because he's poorly.
I'm done with him finding a new drinking buddy and dating 17 year olds (he's almost 50!!!!) and then just dropping the kids like a lead balloon only to pick them up with false promises once he is bored and he's free time on his hands again.
He's a narssisistic, opportunist and I'm not allowing my poor kids to be let down over and over again anymore and balls to the whole 'kids need their father', not when he's doing this to them they don't!!!!
I'm drawing a line today and saying NOPE!!! :mad:
:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
Rant over! And breath

Oh, my days, Kim. I find myself saying stuff to you I have never said to anyone in my life, not even my OH, to whom I tell pretty much everything that comes into my cranium. There is something about you and your situation that just resonates with me, but from a sprog's perspective. I am sorry I went off on one, there was absolutely no criticism of you implied, I do so hope you know that.

It sounds as if this could be the first day of the rest of your and The Seven's lives. You are so brave, Wondermama! I know this is off the chart pretentious but I am proud of you. Loads of hugs.
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

kimplus8

Smodlet wrote: »

Oh, my days, Kim. I find myself saying stuff to you I have never said to anyone in my life, not even my OH, to whom I tell pretty much everything that comes into my cranium. There is something about you and your situation that just resonates with me, but from a sprog's perspective. I am sorry I went off on one, there was absolutely no criticism of you implied, I do so hope you know that.

It sounds as if this could be the first day of the rest of your and The Seven's lives. You are so brave, Wondermama! I know this is off the chart pretentious but I am proud of you. Loads of hugs.
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

No offence taken at ALL!
I have had a wonderful day with the kiddos!
We had so much fun at the library and they are all now registered to do the Roald Dahl reading challenge over the summer! There was a treasure hunt too. :D
We grabbed a sandwich with some funds I have put away for days out and then my dd9 went to buy some toys with her birthday money and pocket money! She walked out proud as punch!! Glad I've been saying no to her buying sweeties all these weeks because now she actually has something to show for it and bought a brand new series of shopkins (collecting toys) that just came out today!
We then jumped on the bus home and have just been catching up on washing, playing and eldest dd has gone to her best mates for a sleep over!
The sun is shining- my garden is looking like day of the triffids but they are happy on the trampoline and running around.
Tonight we are going to play games, read our books and watch a movie together on Netflix!
My mum is visiting us tomorrow so in cooking roast chick and all the trimmings, did online shop this morning so that should be here tomorrow morning and then our cupboards will be full again:o
Been a good girl and meal planned for the week!!
Thanks for all of your kind words- they are keeping me going, that and my 8 beautiful blessings, who needs treats and luxuries in life when I'm so rich with these amazing kids :money:

Smodlet

You truly are an inspiration, Kim, you are probably the strongest person I know. You rock, lady!

Smodlet

Hey Kim, guys, I know you know way more about fleabay and therefore, I surmise, that which pays your pals: I have, in the last 3 or 4 days, set up a PP account, don't ask me how, technology is not my friend, and am awaiting a payment. It has left the PP a/c but has yet to appear in my bank a/c. Should I be worried and is there anything I can/ should do, please?

Thank you for your assistance.

kimplus8

Gosh I'm not sure sorry. Ionly use paypal to buy stuff with the funds I have in there IYSWIM.
So if I sell something for £20 I keep that £20 in my paypal until I need something and use that to buy it. I didn't even think I could just transfer it to my bank account.