Had such a rubbish week

Nicki

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

I just can't imagine a situation where if I was close to the deceased, unless I was their mistress or something, that I wouldn't feel close enough to their surviving relatives to cook a meal or offer some form of help.

xx

I have lots of people that I would consider to be friends whose family I don't know (and wouldn't know how to find) if they died, but would still feel sympathy for the family. That group includes single friends with no children, work colleagues and even people I met in a professional capacity only but formed a bond with, like my children's teachers, my physiotherapist, etc. Perhaps it's a big city thing but I really don't find it that strange at all.

If I did know the family a little though, I probably would take round some flowers or a cake. I know when my father died, my mum had lots of visitors between the death and the funeral and being able to offer them all tea and a slice of cake helped her through those few days.

marisco_2

Person_one wrote: »

You can't fix it, but you can let them know you're thinking of them. Have you sent a card?

I totally agree with this. Just knowing that there are people who care and that will be there for you if needed when you are going through an awful time can be so helpful and relieve a lot of upset and anxiety. Offer your condolences and leave the ball in their court as to whether they turn to you for help

Person_one

jobbingmusician wrote: »

I can't imagine someone not close enough to cook a meal for. It's a very practical way of showing support, to my mind, and I would do it for anyone - for example, someone in the same social circle who I had never spoken to before, if I heard that they had lost someone unexpectedly.

I understand the impulse as its a feels like a very helpful and nurturing way to show you care, but I generally think that sort of thing is best left to the closest family and friends. The level of closeness where the bereaved person isn't going to worry about what they look like, or the state of the house, or if they're supposed to send a thank you note, or when need to wash and return the dish etc. The people they are completely comfortable with.

I recently took some flowers and a card round for a neighbour who was coming out of hospital, I felt terrible when a week later she sent a thank you card back with a note apologising for how long it had taken.

Thorson

Thanks for your replies everyone, much appreciated.

A card and flowers have been sent and I think just letting them know we are here if they need us has helped