Joined 31.05.16

Poor_Single_lady

I have written it down before- but not the dates. So I will tick them off as we go.

I am more of a fan of pen and paper (but I do have the worry of my parents finding all my notes in case of emergency.

I tried ynab but I think it made things even more stressful. I just felt the pressure and then wanted to spend and spend and fight against the rules. I know this is self destructive, foolish and weak but I am more suited to my own handwritten notes and I will get there but it will be slow.

Paying off the first credit card and paying it off each month in full was kind of massive and I hope is the turning point for me. It's zero now for the new month but to chop it up completely was a bridge too far right now.

Most bills out Tuesday and then a quiet week although friends birthday Thursday and out for dinner- no alcohol but we do eat a lot when we get together.
Need to cut the social but birthdays are important.

Today was low spend £12 in Pub and £14 in Iceland, all staples. That was all. Took £70 cash out in handbag.

Monday is May. No alcohol, try for no toiletries, minimal socialising, long working hours and 2 important birthdays, no big expenses, no holidays to be booked, 2 bank holidays, no more time off work. Be more organised, eat less.

Verbatim

Good progress on the zero cc. Paying it off in full each month is an excellent habit to establish.
I would suggest a small variation in mindset so that you see what you're aiming for more positively. You're more likely to achieve your goals if you have a smile on your face! You're having having a healthy month focussing on getting fit and well and setting yourself up for success in your exams and future, as opposed to no socialising, no alcohol etc!
Perhaps make a list of all the wins so far, including stuff like toiletries and food in hand and ideas for combining items of clothing in new ways to maximise number of outfits to show yourself you have plenty and can look brilliant.
Lastly perhaps start a new habit of putting something aside each month into a new account as an emergency fund or for Xmas? You could always start small so it doesn't seem too daunting. Say £20 or £50 as a start?
You will get sorted!

Verbatim

Oh God I sound like teacher again. Sorry psl!

Poor_Single_lady

Lol. Are you a teacher Verbatim. I do take on board what you are saying. And Louby too (who is a teacher).
There is a big bit of me that says if my parents haven't found out then that is an achievement.
Staying alive is good.
Staying as minimal into the overdraft at the end of the month is good.
Not missing payments is good.
Then Although I do need to plan everything else; it is secondary. I know the social life and the flat should be secondary really and they are this month.

The thing I find is it's all very easy when you've just been paid and there isn't anything in the calendar and you can be at home a bit left alone.

It's harder 2 weeks in when the bills have all been paid, the account balance seems wrong, the invites and the social pressure hits. My friends all seem to be having crisis in their lives that needs support lunches and pub time and coffees. And at the end of the day a lot of love but somehow this does demand money.

And things pop up not expected.
I've tried having money in a fund before but I just spend it. I will try.

I sometimes get asked what I am wearing to an evening thing after work and I think why am I expected to pay for 2 outfits. None of the men have to. Most irritating.

I've put weight on recently and I need to lose it to fit into a lot of my clothes. It's my own fault largely due to takeaways and drinking so going to knock that on the head for a bit and see if there is an improvement so I can fit back into original clothes.

Then will sort things out a bit and trying hard for minimal clothes till June. But if it gets hot as does seem to be coming our way I will need to invest a bit as work wardrobe is winter heavy.

I think today should be low spend. Hopefully going out for coffee later but no big spending should be needed (famous last words) but I am trying. Need to plan for next week to know really.

Thank you very much for all the help, support and direction. My mum can't find out but if she did she would be glad I was getting help and advice and direction to one day get it sorted.

I actually feel even more guilty recently. My parents booked an expensive holiday for themselves which is so out of character it's almost unbelievable. I thought it was a joke when they told me My mum thinks it's too much money and she feels guilty about the spending. It's a fraction of my debt owed.
She's fretting a lot. I have repeatedly told her and my dad how hard they work and how much they deserve this and that life is for living but I would feel better if my debt was not at a this level and if they had this kind of holiday regularly.
They will not be in debt from this holiday. Very sensible with money and lots put away for rainy days and me and siblings.

Sorry this is a bit Rambling today. I think I am just anxious and want to get it right.

GoingToDoIt

Hi PSL,
If you've gained a bit of weight then you have a great excuse for social occasions- you can come along but you're dieting/doing calorie counting etc so you will be sticking to soda water/just a soup etc.

reality_check

You and that work wardrobe PSL :rotfl: do you have loads of clothes? Perhaps during this month with spare time on your hands you could take pics and list them on Ebay? Or an app called Depop my daughter used and everything was snapped up quickly...and then use this money towards new stuff? I wish I could, before I decided try to get a grip of my life I went through a crazy de-cluttering spree on everything!! And I just bagged up loads of stuff with expensive labels and took to the charity shop/gave away so can't use my own advice, but if you've lots of clothes that deep down you know you won't wear I'd get them listed and hopefully make some £££.

I know you always mention your overdraft, after all essential outgoings such as bills, food, travel, debt repayments but no social expenses could you potentially stay out of it? I'm just wondering because I lived in mine for years but last year I took out a cash transfer on a credit card that allowed me to clear it, yes there was a fee but that was the last one I paid rather than monthly overdraft fees...is this an option? But i'm not sure if it will benefit you, think depends if does your monthly salary cover your bills and repayments or do you need an overdraft for that? Hope this makes sense xxx

Lumanous

Could you suggest going for a walk with your friends that need support? Along the beach or through a park or woodland? Automatically low spend and getting outside often helps those going through difficult times? You can still chat etc, fresh air and exercise for you too.

Then if food is an idea in advance you could take a picnic for budgeting?

enthusiasticsaver

PSL if you get budgeting right and continue to get out of debt one day you will be as good with your money as you think your parents are. The mortgage will be paid off one day, the debts hopefully will be gone and the money you are now paying every month for expenses incurred in the past will be allocated to present expenditure and future savings.

Don't be afraid to say no to your friends, you cannot afford expensive nights out and suggest cheaper alternatives. Easier as the weather gets better as a picnic or walk in a local park does not usually involve much money. Drag drinks out in a pub to keep the spend down and plan meals so takeaways are not bought so often. Helps the purse and waistline.

Doobop

Hi PSL, a lurker here, keep up the diary, you are doing so well. I was wondering, and feel free to ignore, but whether there are one or two boring savings you can make - eg your electric and gas bills, are you on the best rates? At the moment your savings are all noticeable as you're giving things up, but wondered if this may be a way of extra savings. Wonder if anyone can advise if Netflix has offered better deals after threatening to cancel. Just a thought.

Poor_Single_lady

Hi Dobop :wave:
I have thought about this but I owe the electric company quite a bit of money due to not having paid enough in when they did their meter reading. So need to stay there for a bit or pay all of this money at once. No gas bill.
Then I've got freeview and lovefilm at £8 a month. I think they have a no-discount policy. But I am going to switch electric later on the year as it does seem to have gone up a good bit.

Hello Lamanous and enthusiastic. :wave::wave:
I am saying no to the social as much as possible. But it is hard. Last night the weather was beautiful so I went for walk with a friend through the park. I think we are going to try and have a few picnics now it is more sunny-and also try this out at lunch time too. Love a picnic.

Trying not to drink till June which should help everything.

Reality I have less clothes than it sounds. It is sometimes a challenge finding clothes for 5 days of work a week.
I have a lot of old things that would be unsuitable for sale but if I could sell on I would.
Right now because of the loan I need the overdraft. I am in it just because of how things are set up but on the way out. It is going to take time but will get fixed.

This is a bit of s rant GOing-to-do-it but the frustrating thing about weight gain is that people feel they must tell you that you look fine.
I am about 1-2 stone overweight but because it's not more than this and I am not obese people always feel the need to reassure me that I don't need to lose weight. They think they are helping but they make the battle twice as hard.
So in my life I can't really be bothered to explain myself to people because I know they are not going to help. only a handful have people have said that they understand.
I think people think they are being mean if they agree with you and that you will be offended. But I wouldn't be. My hips are huge and my bum has never been so big, tummy that used to be flat is now all bulging and still my friends insist on battling me and telling me I am wrong.

I won't drink but I'm not sharing the dieting- It is genuinely easier primarily alone but only with those that get-it.
But those that do understand make everything easier.
My best friend said that I had put weight and didn't question me eating vegetables as a snack. If everyone could do this it would be easier.

Onwards and upwards. Bills tommorow. Take lunch in, come home after work for small healthy dinner then sleep and book.
:think: