Joined 31.05.16

Poor_Single_lady

Home for the day. Making lunches for rest of week and watching end of series 1 homeland- (I cant tell what is going to happen at all)

Then early night.
I know this is bad already but spent £15 at lunch. Going out tommorow, 1 lunch out next week then nothing till 15th.
Very tired. Meant to work late today because we are busy but just needed to come home.
I like primark, tesco, Sainsbury's and new look. Im not sure about going to charity shop for work clothes. I do go for shoes handbags, books and dvds tho.
If I stay in my job till next march its likely there would be a bonus of around £600-1000. This could be enough to clear my loan which means potentially this could only have 9 months left which means overdraft and loan could be gone in 9 months leaving 4 credit cards and increase in monthly income of £153 plus overdraft charges savings.
I think I might try and do this and try all the time to manage the 4th credit card.

System

Deleted_User wrote: »

I love charity shops!

Dxxx

Me too. Refuse to buy new clothes now. Sometimes it means having to wait for something but then when you find what you've been waiting for, it's such a buzz!

Hey PSL.
It might be worth going and having a look. It's good for the basics - e.g a decent pair of jeans, a smart pair of trousers / skirt, that could be bought from anywhere.
I can get white stuff and fat face tops and almost brand new jeans and work trousers in mine. I also sometimes get smart blazer type jackets which I use to dress up for work. I think I'm lucky with our shops as they seem to stock a lot of good stuff....and where I live (middle of nowhere) the nearest town has an M&Co, an Edinburgh Woollen Mill and 7 charity shops! So to be honest looking in the charity shops is generally more tempting as they have better labels on sale!

Poor_Single_lady

Don't want to declare our bar bill. I mysrlf do know but dont want to share. far too much very very bad. Massive blip. Be better going forward. Only posting this in interests of honestly. Please don't write and tell im stupid I already know.

rexelpink

Hi Hun just popping in to say hi xx
Sounds like you've been having a hard time too lately, life keeps getting in the way doesn't it xx

We can hold each other's cyber hands and get through this together. I've got a similar situation to you in that quality of life versus debt payments is an issue, we can get through it together!

Would it help you to have a real life friend who knows what your doing?
I've got 2 close friends at work who i trust, who know everything. Financially they are both in a good place, and they've really helped me by supporting me with bringing in their own lunches to work too, and also thinning out the amount given to charity, but also they are championing not buying rounds in work social evenings etc.

United we stand as they say xxxxx

[Deleted User]

Don't stress about it PSL.

We are all in the same boat, I went out for lunch with my pal earlier in the year & spent about 110.00 :eek:

I am still here, still plodding along, still reducing my debt.

Dxxx

Poor_Single_lady

Awww. Thank you for being kind. Dolly i bet that was an amazing lunch you will remember for a long time.
I definitely needed someone to hold my hand today. It waa a bit shaky. Rexelpink my friends say they understand and think they do but they dont. I feel like im being a bad friend not meeting up with them. Its not all down to money, its studying as well but I feel constantly guilty. A few of my friends want to meet about once a week, I neither have the time or the money and feel like I am a rubbish friend.
My parents do understand and they are genuinely brilliant although they only know about a small part. Only one of my friends really gets it. The others say things which are just nonsense. I sometimes think as well that a few of my non homeowner friends seem to think that once you get a mortgage you've suddenly got lots of money and don't need to be careful any more which if course is complete nonsense.

If my friends knew the full extent they would want to talk about it all the time. I want to talk about it on my terms and don't want to be judged. Its a fine line between help and judgement and I don't think everyone gets that.

I will be more careful from now on genuinely. I don't care if im home every evening in august. Im going to say no to anything expensive and social just for august (and im studying) and see how that feels and how the money looks. A few things I will need to do but will tell my friends it needs to be cheap or nothing.

I was thinking it over today. My friend last night is having a very difficult time. I think she appreciated me going and it was a distraction for her- and we haven't been out together for about a month so although it was expensive its maybe 2 months worth of time so it might not be the end of the world. Just disheartening. But as you say life happens, gets in the way and scuppers all your plans!
I will learn from it and be better.

A non spending day today. Need to go do small shop tommorow, no weekend plans and nothing in the calender till next friday 15th. I desperately need a quiet weekend. Xxxxx

[Deleted User]

Things are gonna crop up chick.

It's about getting back on the wagon so they say as soon as you can & not letting habits slip back to what got you in this situation in the first place.

Dxxx

GoingToDoIt

Same as a diet...accidentally eat a massive burger? Just start again the next day! Accidentally (drunk) spent lots of money? Just try and make sure you don't buy anything frivolous for a few days. I (drank) spent £70 unexpectedly the other month, it was a bloody great night, I go out 4 times a year, it was spontaneous. It happens!

System

You need to live!
I know you also want to pay off your debt, but trying to do it too quickly will just cause unneccessary pressure and make you feel like you are failing when overall you are not.

One of the things I have reflected on is that our debts have slowly built up since 2009, so it's taken 7 years to get where we are today. Being realistic, it's going to take us just as long to get rid of them - thinking about it like that has made me think more long term about it - it's a marathon not a sprint. And drunken fun nights along the way are definitely part of the race!
Night night xx

rexelpink

Hi Hun,
I know what u mean about friends I really do. The 2 at work are fab, but both are financially secure, no debts except mortgages and both have substantial savings.. my other friends not so helpful. I personally think it's because my other friends all have credit card debts etc as well, so
a) they don't see the big deal and
b) if they support me they will have to face up to the reality of their own situations.

Anyway living life whilst paying off debt is important and you are doing really well x