How best to manage my son's finances?

HappyMJ

elle_may wrote: »

Every thing you have said is the same as my son. He has learning problems and we agreed that i should manage his money that goes into his current account and pay his bills, i do this online.

Because he does not like asking for his allowance every week we opened another basic bank account, he can use his card to withdraw at ATM's with Barclay's that does not have a overdraft and he can only spend what i put in. This gives him a sense of independence and i don't have to worry about him getting into debt. We also decided what day it would go in and that is his payday every week.

Over the year's i have tried every thing like you, and this is what work's best for us. People do not realize that even he is a grown man he still needs help with finances .Barclay's were very good when we both went in and explained he was a special need adult and that's why we needed another account.

OP says they have Lasting Power of Attorney.

Just asking out of interest but do you have anything like that?

What did Barclays say about you accessing his online banking as yourself acting as him?

When I asked HSBC they flatly refused and were almost about to with withdraw ALL online access from the account until I said I wouldn't access it. They said the accounts had to be joint accounts which I could manage from my side of the online banking so the transactions could be traced to me.

[Deleted User]

My son has ASD and he is 20. I was asked when he turned 16 if I wanted to apply for appointee status and upon discussing it with my son, we decided to apply for this. It actually made things easier because if there are any queries or problems I can sort them out, he just couldn't cope I'm afraid. He finds phone conversations quite difficult. It was just a case of someone coming round and I filled in a form, it wasn't a problem at all.

He now gets ESA (support). Because I am his appointee, its paid into my bank account but I very much regard it as his money and always talk over what's happening with him, and ask his permission before I do things with it. Initially I was taking a small amount out for keep (nothing like the real cost, just a token amount) and transferring the rest to his bank account. Until I discovered the lot was going on games. Then I discussed it with him again, and we agreed half the remainder would go into a savings account in case of college expenses (which I almost expect, but are waiting to hear about as he's 20).

He has a bank account, only he has access to it. But I feed the funds into it.

I have made it clear to him that as soon as I see signs that he is budgeting, saving for things that he wants (initially we've discussed an expensive computer component that he wants as I think I might have more luck getting him to want it enough to start saving), the amount going into his bank account will increase. I do discuss household expenditure with him. Like recently I purchased a sofa and discussed it with him and that it would leave us short for a while, was it worth it etc. So he gets involved and used to budgeting decisions.

However, my son is very intelligent, and is capable of some self care.., but he has very little delayed anticipation skills, consequences mean little to him, he can only think of one side of things so his judgement is affected. He does have a learning disability, this is the definition of it lol. This does affect him. Its not quite the same as 'learning to budget' as a young person usually needs to do. I do hope he will learn money management over time as I won't always be here..,but right now, its more a case of hitting walls than climbing over them lol.

He managed to get into a bit of a mess with a small overdraft a couple of months ago.., frightened him to death. Partially caused by eagerness to buy a present for his brother (cancelled an order with one party and didn't understand the refund wouldn't happen straight away and ordered from another party, payment went out straight away). I thought he'd learn from this.., but it seems not. He's just emptied his bank account which nearly had enough in it to buy the component - to buy games.

So its going to take a while.

elle_may

HappyMJ wrote: »

OP says they have Lasting Power of Attorney.

Just asking out of interest but do you have anything like that?

What did Barclays say about you accessing his online banking as yourself acting as him?

When I asked HSBC they flatly refused and were almost about to with withdraw ALL online access from the account until I said I wouldn't access it. They said the accounts had to be joint accounts which I could manage from my side of the online banking so the transactions could be traced to me.

I should have said the account's are with different bank's and his money is put in to his basic account by SO every week. I am an appointee with DWP and his bank accepted this. He has full access to it and the money is his, so no mix up when we are asked by other interested parties.