Daughter unable to go to school

Saffy910

Hi.
My 13 year old daughter has been unable to attend school properly since October 2015 due to severe anxiety. At the moment she attends about one hour a day. I have to take and collect her. She is doing 2 subjects but the times are different and the school timetable works over 6 days. I am currently off work sick due to stress. I just don't know how to manage getting my daughter to school and work at the same time. I am a single parent, ex in another country and not paying maintenance. I work 24 hours a week and get tax credits. I have to pay the mortgage (can only afford interest only) it's very tough to manage at the best of times. I just don't know what to do. How can I work and support my daughter with her mental health? Any advice really appreciated. Thanks

HappyMJ

Saffy910 wrote: »

Hi.
My 13 year old daughter has been unable to attend school properly since October 2015 due to severe anxiety. At the moment she attends about one hour a day. I have to take and collect her. She is doing 2 subjects but the times are different and the school timetable works over 6 days. I am currently off work sick due to stress. I just don't know how to manage getting my daughter to school and work at the same time. I am a single parent, ex in another country and not paying maintenance. I work 24 hours a week and get tax credits. I have to pay the mortgage (can only afford interest only) it's very tough to manage at the best of times. I just don't know what to do. How can I work and support my daughter with her mental health? Any advice really appreciated. Thanks

If you were to sell the house, after paying the mortgage off and the fees to sell, how much equity would you have?

If the amount is less than £16,000 you could sell and rent and you would get housing benefit to pay the rent. If it's higher than £16,000 then you wouldn't be entitled to housing benefit until you had less than £16,000. I would still consider doing that as you will have much more money in your pocket each month. Once your daughter is old enough and left home you can return to full time employment and re-enter the housing market.

If your SSP has run out you can claim Employment and Support Allowance until you're fit enough to return to work.

missbiggles1

Saffy910 wrote: »

Hi.
My 13 year old daughter has been unable to attend school properly since October 2015 due to severe anxiety. At the moment she attends about one hour a day. I have to take and collect her. She is doing 2 subjects but the times are different and the school timetable works over 6 days. I am currently off work sick due to stress. I just don't know how to manage getting my daughter to school and work at the same time. I am a single parent, ex in another country and not paying maintenance. I work 24 hours a week and get tax credits. I have to pay the mortgage (can only afford interest only) it's very tough to manage at the best of times. I just don't know what to do. How can I work and support my daughter with her mental health? Any advice really appreciated. Thanks

6 days a week?

Brighty

missbiggles1 wrote: »

6 days a week?

6 day timetable, but you only go to school mon-fri. Monday would be day 1, Tues day 2 etc, then following monday is day 6, Tues back to 1 and so on. It means you never have the same subjects on the same day of the week. It's quite common i think, school i did my A levels at 22-24 years ago worked that way

Brighty

DomRavioli

Is your daughter under CAMHS? If she is, please contact their office - there is a lot they can signpost for, but you have to ask for it.

If she isn't under CAMHS, please see your GP urgently to get her on their books.

Saffy910

Thanks everyone

I have thought about trying to sell the house. My share of the equity will take me over £16k which means I will have to use my equity to rent. I am 52. I have very little pension accrued and this is my only security. Whilst I would certainly do this for my daughter - it is a bit of a last resort. Another consideration is that I have 2 dogs which both of my children adore. I think it is unlikely that I would find a place that would accept dogs.
My daughter is under CAMHS. I'm not sure how they can help my situation with work.
The 6 day timetable works exactly as described above. It makes almost impossible because there are no regular set days of the week for lessons. I cannot therefore ask my employer if I can change work days because there is no consistency.

missbiggles1

Brighty wrote: »

6 day timetable, but you only go to school mon-fri. Monday would be day 1, Tues day 2 etc, then following monday is day 6, Tues back to 1 and so on. It means you never have the same subjects on the same day of the week. It's quite common i think, school i did my A levels at 22-24 years ago worked that way

Brighty

You learn something new every day!

I worked in and around education for 30 years and saw a child through the system and have never come across that before.

Thanks.

Saffy910

Yes that's it exactly

pmlindyloo

As well as the advice above I would be going to your daughter's school and asking them to adapt her timetable to fit around your work.

As she is 13 years old and only doing two subjects then there is hopefully some flexibility to her studying.

Point out that you are under considerable stress because of her current timetable and this is impacting not only on you but on your daughter
too.

Also look into some form of different transport arrangements to get your daughter to school. Is there a family member of other parent who could help?

Where is your daughter while you are at work? With family members?

pmlindyloo

pmlindyloo wrote: »

As well as the advice above I would be going to your daughter's school and asking them to adapt her timetable to fit around your work.

As she is 13 years old and only doing two subjects then there is hopefully some flexibility to her studying.

Point out that you are under considerable stress because of her current timetable and this is impacting not only on you but on your daughter
too.

Also look into some form of different transport arrangements to get your daughter to school. Is there a family member of other parent who could help?

Where is your daughter while you are at work? With family members?

Have been doing a bit of reading around this

https://www.derbyshire.gov.uk/images/Emotionally%20Based%20School%20Refusal%20Guide_tcm44-233526.pdf

Your local authority should have a guide about school refusers.

If you read the above guide then you will see that there should be a planned intervention about your daughter refusing to attend school. Since this started in September last year are you aware of the school's plan and what steps they are taking to put these steps into action?

Of course you need to work with her doctor and CAHMS but I personally feel that you need to ask for a review of your daughter's plan and at the same time talk about some flexibility so that you can work and provide for your daughter (and keep yourself sane!)

Saffy910

Hi, I don't have any family around to take my daughter to school. When I am at work she is on her own which is far from ideal for her anxiety, plus it is very lonely. She does online maths and science at home which has been arranged by the school. My work rota also changes regularly and I seeing if I can change this. However the constantly changing school 6 day timetable compounds everything.