Daughter unable to go to school

Saffy910

And I should say that I am at the end of my tether. Having managed to extract myself from an abusive marriage I just cannot fail my daughter.

konark

Brighty wrote: »

6 day timetable, but you only go to school mon-fri. Monday would be day 1, Tues day 2 etc, then following monday is day 6, Tues back to 1 and so on. It means you never have the same subjects on the same day of the week. It's quite common i think, school i did my A levels at 22-24 years ago worked that way

Brighty

That's the most insanely stupid idea I'm surprised the government hasn't made it compulsory

xylophone

It seems to me that selling your home would not be a good idea - surely such a change and possibly losing much loved pets will only add to your daughter's anxiety?

http://www.youngminds.org.uk/for_parents/parent_helpline

Tiddlywinks

What therapies is she receiving for the anxiety?

Being only 13 and left alone all day can't be helping her condition as she has no social interaction or support. How will she ever learn to cope with the outside world if she is shut away all day?

Is this really best for her?

lush_walrus

This might be a stupid idea, I know absolutely nothing about mental health but what about if you home schooled her? Would that remove some of both of your stresses? Are you feeling worse for worrying about her worrying about going to school?

It just struck me that as she only attends a short day and you work part time maybe the two could balance and you would both feel better.

FBaby

What's compounding the anxiety? Clearly she can cope going and being there since she goes every day for one hour, so what is that makes it ok to be there 1 hour but not 2 or 3 or more?

Saffy910

My daughter has generalised anxiety and social anxiety. She is receiving CBT although I'm not really impressed with her CAMHS therapist. She only does a few hours at school because it's all she can cope with now. I couldn't get her into school at all last October so there is improvement but it is baby steps. We are hoping to add one more hour next week. The school are being supportive because as it stands she has to have a teacher escort her to the classroom and back otherwise she panics. I have thought about homeschooling but I can't afford to. She does two online lessons a day funded by the school.
I hate leaving her at home all day. My own mental health is suffering. And I have very lifetime support. I just wish I could give up work for a year to concentrate on getting her back on track. The past few years have been awful.

Saffy910

I agree. I think both of my daughters would be distraught at the thought of losing their pets

Saffy910

It makes me wonder how other single parents cope when their child has a long term health problem. I don't think I could get enough in benefits to be able to look after her properly and pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads

HappyMJ

Saffy910 wrote: »

I agree. I think both of my daughters would be distraught at the thought of losing their pets

I agree too I was just putting the idea out there for consideration.

You've considered it and validly dismissed it. Which is fair enough.

Saffy910 wrote: »

It makes me wonder how other single parents cope when their child has a long term health problem. I don't think I could get enough in benefits to be able to look after her properly and pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads

Other single parents may be renting instead which makes it easier paying the bills as no income is required to be diverted to pay the mortgage.

You would have to look for work to get JSA which having left a job voluntarily you probably would not get for 6 months. If you're not looking for work you're not entitled to JSA so I'd stick at doing the minimum number of hours possible whilst looking after your daughter the rest of the time.

I'd look at reducing your outgoings. Can you ask for a payment holiday on the mortgage? That would only give you short term relief though. You could approach a broker to remortgage the house releasing some equity which if managed well you could use to supplement your income for the next 5 years. If you could release £25,000 spread that over 5 years and you'll have an extra £5,000 per year to spend on living costs which might be just enough to cover all your costs.

Yes I know it will set back the time in which you will fully own your house but your can work on that later.