Desperate Help - Can he take my House, my Rights?

dziet

I am desperately worried about my current situation regarding my ex - situation as follows:
Together 16 years - when we got together I earned more, but he had a house with a mortgage - we moved in together and we shared bills. He may have paid mortgage, however utilities, sundries, furniture, social etc all paid - we lived as a couple.
We moved when I got pregnant to a bigger house, which again he stayed on the mortgage solely (I always thought it was joint but never really questioned it, now I see naively) - this was 10 years ago.
When I got pregnant with our first child, I always intended to return to work, however the mum bug got me, we agreed I would stay at home and manage the house and child that was soon to be children. The second was born and they are now 10 and 8.
We have never married, got engaged several years ago but I never wanted to.
Around 18 months ago, now kids were older, I started work part time to fit around school hours, with the flexibility to cover most of school hols, allow him to work full time still, and also be able to manage teacher training days and sickness.
At the same time it became apparent that he had left me off the mortgage so I raised this and he said it was an oversight and we met with the bank to resolve this. We met, he later advised me it was all sorted. It later transpires that this was a lie, he failed to provide accounts the bank needed so the application failed and it remained solely in his name. He tried to keep this from me. The bank have records of this.
I earn a fraction of what he earns, and he earns a lot.
A year ago we split up after several years of relationship going downhill. He moved first to his parents and then to rented, locally, and he has kids 3 nights a week, although I still do all school runs.
He has been helping with mortgage/maintenance etc and basically all my money goes out on bills etc. he has plenty of money, I do not. We are in similar, 3 bed houses in a nice area.
Now that I am entering into a new relationship he has gone ballistic and is insisting on screwing me financially, getting me out of the house, increasing his care of kids (how I do not know, he works full time), and basically bullying me to hurt me and forget the impact on kids. I am trying to remain amicable but he is threatening solicitors (he can afford 2 apparently, I can afford none and don't qualify for any legal aid).
I have sought some initial advice and 2 different solicitors have told me that I have no rights on the house.
I feel like I have given up everything, my successful career and in his anger is screwing me over.
Please can anyone advice me?

FBaby

This might end up a tough legal battle. You were not married, so don't have the same rights, however, it is likely that you will seen as having some interest in the house having lived in it for so many years and contributing to the bills, living together a family.

Could he force the sale of the house? Maybe, maybe not. When you say you are in a new relationship, how new is it and are you living together yet? If not, then it is quite unlikely that a sale would go ahead, although again, you could end up with a judge who decides that with the children with their dad almost half of the time and their age, that you are in a position to go back to work full-time (and pay for afterschool/holiday if required). If your new boyfriend/partner is living with you in the property, the likelihood of it increases.

It is not possible to tell you what the outcome would be. You need to decide to either try to come up with a compromise (the most reasonable one would probably agreeing to sell the house and split the equity 50/50) but whatever you agree, or be prepared to go to court, in which case, you would probably need a good solicitor.

FBaby

I have sought some initial advice and 2 different solicitors have told me that I have no rights on the house.

Just to comment on this, did they say it like that or did they say 'no automatic right to the house'? Very different position.

FBaby

One last thing! Why are you saying 'my house' in your title? Surely you accept that it is at least his house too, especially if he has continued to pay for the mortgage despite not living there any longer.

Guest101

Actually this is really simple.


It's his house and he could ask you to leave at any time.


You may have an interest in the house and be due some financial compensation once it is sold, but you have no rights to live there beyond what he allows.


There is no automatic right to live there because of the children.

dziet

Reference to my house is just that he now has his rental one, obviously it's not all mine. However feel I have some entitlement to it, yes. I gave up a career so he could have one and children were looked after. I cannot afford a legal battle, he can.

Guest101

dziet wrote: »

Reference to my house is just that he now has his rental one, obviously it's not all mine. However feel I have some entitlement to it, yes. I gave up a career so he could have one and children were looked after. I cannot afford a legal battle, he can.

You probably have some interest in it, I can't estimate the total, but it's not yours and your right to live there is limited.

I suppose it's a case of keeping on the good side or finding somewhere else to live.

Mojisola

dziet wrote: »

When I got pregnant with our first child, I always intended to return to work, however the mum bug got me, we agreed I would stay at home and manage the house and child that was soon to be children.

Now that I am entering into a new relationship

dziet wrote: »

I gave up a career so he could have one and children were looked after.

Your first post makes it sound as if you chose to be a stay-at-home Mum rather than him wanting you to give up your career.

It's not uncommon for things with an ex to go downhill when one person starts a new relationship.

It might be best to get somewhere to live with your new partner and let emotions cool a bit before discussing your entitlement to a share of the house with your ex.

If a couple choose not to get married with the automatic rights that come with it, both people need to make sure that they sort out their rights and entitlements.

You could have checked that the change in ownership had gone through. Wouldn't you have had to go back in and sign paperwork if you were added to the mortgage?

When_the_going_gets_tough

You say you cannot afford legal advice - I think that you cannot afford not to. You may have rights to a share in the house - all sorts of things are possible - you need to start reading up, making yourself an expert and then spending at least some money on some proper advice with a solicitor who is willing to fight your corner.

Kynthia

Unfortunately you aren't married and there aren't laws for people who share a life together but don't marry. Therefore at the moment the house is his. You would have to take him to court and persuade a judge to give you a share but without direct evidence of you paying anything to the mortgage itself, not just to other living costs or doing the majority of the childcare as these things are a part of marriage and not a financial equivalent outside of it, then I don't know how well you'd do.

I'm sorry that's the case and I hope others avoid this situation by either marrying or putting joint protections in place (such as jointly owning all assets). A good solicitor's advice who is experienced I this field is your best bet.

pinkshoes

As above, you cannot afford NOT to take legal advice here.

As you have been living as man and wife, have given up a career to raise children, and wold have no doubt otherwise owned your own home, you're are entitled to a share.

Getting the share however, given you are not married, will make it much harder.

How much is the house worth, how much was it worth when you moved in, and how much mortgage remains?

For now, just stay put. I would not go moving the new man in though!!!

As you are in a new relationship, if it gets to the point of moving in together,then this man will have to support you AND the kids.

Ideally you would move out, let him have his house back, then start by sending a letter asking for half the increase of equity since you moved in.

You CAN represent yourself at court, and the initial fees are minimal depending on the amount you are claiming.