Desperate Help - Can he take my House, my Rights?

Guest101

dziet wrote: »

Also, to clarify, I am paying 60% of the mortgage and have been since he moved out. He pays the mortgage by standing order however I transfer that amount to him by standing order - there is an audit trail of this agreement. I pay all bills in the house, utilities, everything - these are all in my name.
He pays me child maintenance of an amount agreed well before we separated based upon what we both felt was fair at the time, out of this I pay for all school trips, kids clothes, everything. When we separated I did the calculator and he is paying slightly more than he would have to, which I told him last year, and asked if he wanted to drop the amount down - he said no it was fine, he can afford.
Thank you for all advice thus far.

It's normal to pay 100% of the mortgage + bills.


The fact he subsidises your home and pays more than required maintenance suggests he isn't such a bad guy really.

duchy

There's often no good or bad guys in these scenarios. Just two people who once had one goal and now don't.

Guest101

duchy wrote: »

There's often no good or bad guys in these scenarios. Just two people who once had one goal and now don't.

No I agree, just the OP was saying that he's making threats and being detrimental to the children.


In fact the OP isn't able to home them without his additional support, both financial and by letting her live in his property.


Just worth seeing it from all sides.

duchy

Of course it is ....a couple who were engaged but the woman even after two kids didn't want to marry him clearly weren't a match made in heaven .

I often think the most helpful bits of these threads are to remind people that it isn't just a bit of paper and living together does not give you any of the rights marriage confers and to ignore that and not make sure stuff like assets are in joint names can cause a lot of problems.

justme111

You did not tell us what did he want ? Might be helpful to ask him that. Does he want you out of the house? Does he agree to you living in the house on a condition men you romantically attached to do not visit you or do not stay there overnight?
I probably would ask solicitors if it went to court what sum would you realistically could expect to get , how much solicitor bill for all that could be and make him an offer of you leaving and settlement on you getting that money. Then buy somewhere where you can afford to.
As long term you would not be able to stay in the house let alone buy the ex off you may as well make plans now. Please do not start pleading children need their home , if you do that and ex goes courts annoyed at your reluctance to move children will be far worse off . Children would be far better in a house you can afford with both parents not at war and poor after solicitors costs. If house is that important to them then they may live there with him but I guess you will not be keen in it. You can not have it both ways - them living with you and in his house.
Having said that I do not think it is that simple for him as just change the locks , it has been your home for many years and you are resident parent, would be interesting if someone with knowledge of this matter commented.
Your ex probably feels very resentful because to get what is his he would have to appear as a bad guy and kick you out which while you have residency would mean kicking them out as well. The new relationship probably was just the last straw
Resuming - you can dig your heels in and say ."I am not moving " and it will be comfortable for you as you can continue living in your home. In doing that though you would be harming your children as much as he would if he dug his heels in and went courts for getting rid of you and live in his house may be asking for residency as well. Do not wash your hands off harming the children , you digging yr heels to stay in is no better than him digging his heels to get you out (which he has not done up to now while you making all the noises that indicate u are doing harm from your side)

Guest101

justme111 wrote: »

You did not tell us what did he want ? Might be helpful to ask him that. Does he want you out of the house? Does he agree to you living in the house on a condition men you romantically attached to do not visit you or do not stay there overnight?
I probably would ask solicitors if it went to court what sum would you realistically could expect to get , how much solicitor bill for all that could be and make him an offer of you leaving and settlement on you getting that money. Then buy somewhere where you can afford to.
As long term you would not be able to stay in the house let alone buy the ex off you may as well make plans now. Please do not start pleading children need their home , if you do that and ex goes courts annoyed at your reluctance to move children will be far worse off . Children would be far better in a house you can afford with both parents not at war and poor after solicitors costs. If house is that important to them then they may live there with him but I guess you will not be keen in it. You can not have it both ways - them living with you and in his house.
Having said that I do not think it is that simple for him as just change the locks - It is, assuming my caveat below. , it has been your home for many years and you are resident parent, would be interesting if someone with knowledge of this matter commented. - Kind of resent that statement. I have an excellent working knowledge on property rights.
Your ex probably feels very resentful because to get what is his he would have to appear as a bad guy and kick you out which while you have residency - no such think in the UK. would mean kicking them out as well. The new relationship probably was just the last straw
Resuming - you can dig your heels in and say ."I am not moving " and it will be comfortable for you as you can continue living in your home. In doing that though you would be harming your children as much as he would if he dug his heels in and went courts for getting rid of you and live in his house may be asking for residency as well. Do not wash your hands off harming the children , you digging yr heels to stay in is no better than him digging his heels to get you out (which he has not done up to now while you making all the noises that indicate u are doing harm from your side)

I'll clarify.


The OP can claim tenants rights, she pays a sum of money to her ex. That's fine and the ex cannot just change the locks.


Or the OP is claiming an interest in the property, therefore no rent, no tenancy. And like anyone in your home, can be asked to leave at any time.

justme111

What is your source for this information?
By residency I meant she is resident parent, parent with whom children live, - call it whatever.
By any chance anything that you would agree with in my previous post? Or saying anything approving is not in your DNA and you would rather nit pick re residency "not existing in the uk"?

Guest101

justme111 wrote: »

What is your source for this information?
By residency I meant she is resident parent, parent with whom children live, - call it whatever.
By any chance anything that you would agree with in my previous post? Or saying anything approving is not in your DNA and you would rather nit pick re residency "not existing in the uk"?

Many years experience.


The OP could get an occupation order, and may be able to stay longer if she can prove she has an interest. But that is for a court to decide (both whether she has an interest AND whether that is sufficient for her to remain resident).


Ok, well you said residency, and that is not a term widely used here. She's the PWC.


Sure I agree with plenty, which is why I didn't comment on it. I'm not nit-picking, I'm clarifying.

justme111

If you are right than it is scandalous that women in op's position occupy houses using children as hostages

Guest101

justme111 wrote: »

If you are right than it is scandalous that women in op's position occupy houses using children as hostages

Sorry I don't understand your point, can you expand?