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any pit falls?
gonzo127
Posts: 4,482 Forumite
so currently going through a divorce, things are mostly amicable, with childcare/contact agreed, but also flexible, maintenance agreed significantly above the CMS minimum etc
however financial split is a very sore point, basically she wishes me to sign the house over to her because she can not afford to buy me out (currently around £130k equity in the house) and then me to pay off all the joint debt (which unfortunately is all in my name due to her not working at the time and totals about £17k) anyway as you can imagine i have rejected this kind offer.
this has basically stalled the divorce, however the current fixed rate deal on the mortgage is coming to an end in a couple of months, and with the increase in the interest rate, she has said she will not be able to carry on paying the mortgage fully, i unfortunately can not help out any more than i already do, because my finances are stretched to breaking point paying off the debt, plus all the other expenses of renting etc (including as stated above much more than the minimum child maintenance)
anyway she has just text me to say she is going to speak to the mortgage company about getting a short term fixed deal, so that she can secure 'a roof above my daughters head' but as i am on the mortgage i will have to sign all the paper work and agree to it.
now i am of two minds, basically i do not want her to default on the mortgage as i would like to buy my own place once we can agree finances, and i also do not want my daughter to be forced to move house, so it makes sense to sign the new mortgage.
this being said, if i do sign, then that will be removing a incentive for her to agree a financial settlement with me, and if things do get bad, my daughter can always move in with me (which i would love), and it is also just delaying the inevitable as i know she can not afford that house on her own.
anyways i guess the whole reason for this thread is to see if anyone can see any major downfalls of me agreeing to this, as if i am honest i more than likely will sign it for my daughters sake more than anything. but dont know if i am letting my need to look after my daughter override any common sense etc
however financial split is a very sore point, basically she wishes me to sign the house over to her because she can not afford to buy me out (currently around £130k equity in the house) and then me to pay off all the joint debt (which unfortunately is all in my name due to her not working at the time and totals about £17k) anyway as you can imagine i have rejected this kind offer.
this has basically stalled the divorce, however the current fixed rate deal on the mortgage is coming to an end in a couple of months, and with the increase in the interest rate, she has said she will not be able to carry on paying the mortgage fully, i unfortunately can not help out any more than i already do, because my finances are stretched to breaking point paying off the debt, plus all the other expenses of renting etc (including as stated above much more than the minimum child maintenance)
anyway she has just text me to say she is going to speak to the mortgage company about getting a short term fixed deal, so that she can secure 'a roof above my daughters head' but as i am on the mortgage i will have to sign all the paper work and agree to it.
now i am of two minds, basically i do not want her to default on the mortgage as i would like to buy my own place once we can agree finances, and i also do not want my daughter to be forced to move house, so it makes sense to sign the new mortgage.
this being said, if i do sign, then that will be removing a incentive for her to agree a financial settlement with me, and if things do get bad, my daughter can always move in with me (which i would love), and it is also just delaying the inevitable as i know she can not afford that house on her own.
anyways i guess the whole reason for this thread is to see if anyone can see any major downfalls of me agreeing to this, as if i am honest i more than likely will sign it for my daughters sake more than anything. but dont know if i am letting my need to look after my daughter override any common sense etc
Drop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)
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Comments
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I could be wrong, but I think even a new fixed rate product now needs an affordability assessment to be carried out.
I don't know you financial circ's, but if you now have rent elsewhere and child support to pay, it may well be that you don't meet the lenders criteria.
I have no idea how mortgage companies look at this type of situation, but it may not be as straightforward as your wife might hope.0 -
Selling the house seems to be the most appropriate solution for all0
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emmatthews wrote: »I could be wrong, but I think even a new fixed rate product now needs an affordability assessment to be carried out.
I don't know you financial circ's, but if you now have rent elsewhere and child support to pay, it may well be that you don't meet the lenders criteria.
I have no idea how mortgage companies look at this type of situation, but it may not be as straightforward as your wife might hope.
i have phoned the mortgage company, and apparently as we already have a mortgage with them (not changing provider) then they dont do an affordability check. but yes if they do need to do one, it would fail i am sureDrop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
Have you taken legal advice? I would go over to the wikivorce site and put your details in there. You need to aim for a clean break. Additionally any ties to the current mortgage will impact you on getting another mortgage.Mortgage start September 2015 £90000 MFiT #060
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Selling the house seems to be the most appropriate solution for all
i totally agree,
but she is currently refusing to sell because its her home and she lived in it before she met me, which is another reason she wishes me to sign it over to her for nothing,
unfortunately she will not take on board that i lived there for 10 years and was the main earner for all that time, she also had a career break for 4 years where we lived of just my wage, we also managed to put in a new bathroom and kitchen, me and my family actually put down a new driveway, we had the entire house rewired and had a new boiler in, in that time, but apparently none of that matters because she lived there before me, and therefore it is selfish of me to want any money out of the house
soz thats just a little rant lolDrop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
Have you taken legal advice? I would go over to the wikivorce site and put your details in there. You need to aim for a clean break. Additionally any ties to the current mortgage will impact you on getting another mortgage.
i have taken some legal advice however i have been hoping (probably forlornly) that we could reach an agreement without the added expense of solicitors for more than the basic paper work.
i know that i am entitled to a decent chunk of equity in fact i am entitled to more than i have asked for, plus the debt that is in my name, would be classed as a joint debt because i can prove it was used for things which she has full access too, ie her car and the kitchen, but as i said, she is unwilling to accept this at this point in time, so i am just wondering if getting the mortgage would give enough time to actually agree things and let her get to grips with the fact she will probably have to sell the house.
i also know that i will not be able to buy my own place until i am off the mortgage, but as she cant afford the house as it is, there is no way she can afford to buy me out, unless she sells, which comes full circle back to not being able to agree thingsDrop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
Point her to this thread:
After 10 years all assets are split, with the starting point being 50/50.
If she didn't want this, she shouldn't have got married.
That is the simple version.0 -
Point her to this thread:
After 10 years all assets are split, with the starting point being 50/50.
If she didn't want this, she shouldn't have got married.
That is the simple version.
lol, well i know that, and i expect she knows that as well, but is trying to be stubborn enough that i might give in and sign over all the assets to her and take all the debt with me - which you have to be honest, would be one hell of a deal for her, and got to admire her for the hope
although i sometimes wonder if shes just being peer pressured into 'taking me for everything i have' because i was the evil one who walked out, but then again she might honestly feel that what she has offered is fair because it was her house before handDrop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
I don't know if you want to let this run longer term, but my friend had a legal agreement made when her relationship broke down - she stayed in the house with the children but had to ageee to pay him £x thousand of the equity once the children were both out of full time education.
I know it won't help with buying a property now but it may secure your equity (and a roof over your children's head) for the future????Proud to be debt-free 30/6/20200 -
i have phoned the mortgage company, and apparently as we already have a mortgage with them (not changing provider) then they dont do an affordability check. but yes if they do need to do one, it would fail i am sure
Having looked at this recently they don't do further checks. .. I could have reduced the interest rate and reduced the monthly payments by £140 but as forcing me and the children to be homeless is high on his agenda he refused to do this.. i did consider just signing it in his name but my better judgement took over.
the deeds of our house were signed over to me .. I got all the debts too.
If you're paying more than you need to she can use that to pay the mortgage surely.. if she is living beyond her means it is for her to sort out not youLB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14Hope to be debt free until the day I dieMortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)0
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