asked to be guarantor by Ex even though she has cash in bank

MPwannasavemoney

Guest101 wrote: »

Just curious, how old are you?


I mean 20 years in prison may not be too bad....


(im joking!... or am I?!)

52 ... prison lol

MPwannasavemoney

Guest101 wrote: »

Right, but in the application, they mustve applied for spusal maintenance, and your a-level qualified legal adviser, sorry fully qualified solicitor, must've said:


Your Honour, Mrs MP, is a healthy woman in her 40s (?) with many years ahead of her. The children are all of relative impendency and she is perfectly capable of supporting herself.


- Im not a fully qualified solicitor, and even I know that is the criteria for SM.

you should stop guessing at the circumstances. She was not wealthy. She was not working and hadn't worked for many years. We both had debts by the time we divorced and we had the house. The debts were from putting household bills etc on credit cards when we ran out of cash to pay them. Bottom line is even with my barrister arguing that she should be working to earn money she claimed with 3 young kids she was unable to work and had been out of job market too long. Judge made a comment that she should find work but didn't put it into the court order. Expected to have to pay some spousal maintenance but not until death.

But so what? it's the past. Can't be changed. So doesn't help me to rake it up thank you very much.

ruggedtoast

Going back to the guarantor question... you may not qualify anyway if your net income is low.

If you do qualify you'll be quite dependent on her not to stuff up her finances more than she has. She can blow the rent on shoes and Pimms every month and the landlords will come after you. They are under no particular duty to evict her so this situation could continue indefinitely.

Its not an easy situation and there is obviously a lot more of it than you have said, and another side to the story.

Best of luck.

gingercordial

MPwannasavemoney wrote: »

Nope - the spousal maintenance is until DEATH

That just isn't how it works. Spousal maintenance stops automatically when the one receiving the maintenance remarries. It isn't optional and isn't something a court can change.

Yours might be worded that it continues until death, but that still gets overridden if she remarries. Of course she might never remarry in which case you're on the hook, but if she does remarry you can stop paying immediately.

Child support carries on as a separate matter based on the age of the kids.

Edited to add: don't be a guarantor for her. Sounds like she'll be happy to stop paying the rent and leave you responsible for that too.

Cheeky_Monkey

MPwannasavemoney wrote: »

The 100K was joint legal bills between us, her part was taken as a legal loan equity from the house which was first charge after mortgage to be repaid upon house sale and accruing at 18% interest. so her legal team (yes more than 1 appeared at court) could happily spend away knowing that their bill would be paid when the house is sold, as it was. They didn't do any clever stuff, all that happened is it went to court 3 times.

I beg to differ - they clearly wiped the floor with your pathetic legal representation :rotfl:

I suggest you encourage her thoughts about moving to Scotland. Afterall, if she's currently living in North London, in comparison she could probably afford to buy somewhere up there.

I'm wondering whether you could get laser removal of the Mug tattoo on your forehead!

Cheeky_Monkey

Guest101 wrote: »

Just curious, how old are you?


I mean 20 years in prison may not be too bad....


(im joking!... or am I?!)

:T:T

Would she, by chance, be a lot younger than you?

MPwannasavemoney

gingercordial wrote: »

That just isn't how it works. Spousal maintenance stops automatically when the one receiving the maintenance remarries. It isn't optional and isn't something a court can change.

Yours might be worded that it continues until death, but that still gets overridden if she remarries. Of course she might never remarry in which case you're on the hook, but if she does remarry you can stop paying immediately.

really? nobody told me that. I better post a question about it on wikivorce....

Besides she aint stupid enough to remarry

MPwannasavemoney

Cheeky_Monkey wrote: »

:T:T

Would she, by chance, be a lot younger than you?

no only 3 years younger

MPwannasavemoney

Cheeky_Monkey wrote: »

I beg to differ - they clearly wiped the floor with your pathetic legal representation :rotfl:

I suggest you encourage her thoughts about moving to Scotland. Afterall, if she's currently living in North London, in comparison she could probably afford to buy somewhere up there.

I'm wondering whether you could get laser removal of the Mug tattoo on your forehead!

yeah funny eh? you a kent know it all are you?

ElsieMonkey

TBH think I'd take a back seat and leave her to it, in the B&B. What's the urgency in sorting the situation out? The kids have a roof over their heads, they're not in any danger from what you've said, you're still in their life and they know you love them I presume, you're still supporting the kids financially too. If the kids insist on staying with her and she wants them to stay with her, then she needs to take some responsibility with the money she does have, have a word with herself, and go and get a job if that's what it will take to get her into the situation she wants (own home with her kids). End of. Leave her to it and just keep supporting the kids.

Easy said I know, but it sounds so complicated. But don't complicate it further by becoming even more responsible for her and more tied to her than you already are.

I wish you luck. Maybe you need to seek some independent advice from somewhere about this?