Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay for drinks I didn't ask for?

tallgirld

So at the time it was obviously assumed that he was treating everyone.


At £15 a drink it must have been dipped in gold. I would pay the £30 but I would make it VERY clear how I felt about it and would NEVER go for a drink with him again!!!

minicooper272

Another no here.

I’m not often one for rounds either, but I’ve had people turn up with a tray full of shots and offer me one. I wouldn’t expect them to demand payment for it unless they had asked me for money up front (i.e. when we were skint students). The unspoken social rule (at least in my book) is that you usually offer to buy the individual (not the group) either a shot or drink in return later in the evening or the next time you’re out, and this is what you should do here.

I hate how expensive cocktails have become now they’re popular… £15 is not unheard of, but definitely enough of a price tag to put me off buying in the first place. I think you just have to politely tell him you hadn’t been aware you were expected to pay for it, and if you had known you would have asked him not to order it, but you will buy him a couple of drinks the next time you’re out. I’d also just buy him a pint and hand it to him, rather than asking what he’d like on that night out, as I’ve no doubt he’d pick something expensive to get back at you.

Fitzmichael

No. Why do you (if there is a real 'you) need to ask? I'm 75 and haven't known since 'social media' started what 'friend' means to the present generation. I had 'acquaintances', whom I'd have helped, if needed. I was on first name terms with work colleagues, but only chatted about family matters with those I worked with every day, and would only class a handful as 'friends'.

Barryfan

If you drank these expensive cocktails then of course you should pay. Why didn't you say no to the drinks?

Augustus_the_Strong

Making a big expansive generous gesture so that everyone thinks, what a great guy! I don't see why you should pay anything. You did him the favour of drinking your drink after he'd bought it rather than letting it go to waste. More fool him for showing off.

Augustus_the_Strong

Barryfan wrote: »

If you drank these expensive cocktails then of course you should pay. Why didn't you say no to the drinks?

It sounds like they weren't asked, just given them.

PenguinOfDeath

Who says no to a drink that gets bought for them? :huh:

If a mate buys me a drink, I accept and don't assume it's going to go onto a tab for me to pick up later on

Seakay

MSE_Nick wrote: »

I was at a bar recently with mates and we were buying our own drinks, not rounds. One of my friends spontaneously brought over a round of expensive cocktails, which I didn't really want, and then another round again soon after that. The next day he says we all owe him 30 quid each.

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[purplesignup][/purplesignup]

why wait until the next day - the time to say "actually you're paying for these yourselves" was when the recipients said "oh, what a surprise, thank you, not really my thing but very kind of you" or whatever?

ButterflyLC

Absolutely not! You didn't ask for them and were under the impression that you were being treated. I would not pay.

And who turns down a free thing? That's just ungrateful.

joehoover

Of course not, if someone turns up with drinks like that it should be safe to assume he has treated everyone.

£15 a drink for a cocktail in many London venues at least is pretty normal in many cocktail bars, hotel bars etc.

If someone does that it is their choice, in my circle some poeople treat to shots etc but would never think to charge, they decided to do that, sometimes it gets reciprocated others not but there is never any stress from it. If someone is feeling flush it often happens.

If you are in a venue charging that much though it would most likely come with table service so you would make the choice if you wanted something and expected to pay for it or chose not to. If they went to the bar and ordered all those cocktails off their own back they don't have any grounds to expect you to pay.