Mass cards.

DigForVictory

If your friend is devout, google "catholic mass for the soul purchase". You may feel more at ease with an online purchase than walking into a church & asking.

That said, you may find that you can leave a note asking for prayers to be said for X & their recently deceased father, Y & that can help with both your feelings & theirs, just it won't come with a card.

Me, I'd try to make sure they're eating. A Mass card is no use if they're so flattened they aren't cooking. Cake & cheese & biscuits are my standbys there - almost no brain required calories will often help.

mumps

When I was a kid I would often be sent to the presbytery to pay for a mass for the deceased and to collect the card for my parents to send. I haven't seen one for along time but although I am in England I grew up in an area where most of us were Irish or the children of Irish parents so the traditions were more Irish than English. I've never seen one in a shop in England and think you would have to purchase one at the local church or online. In Irish Catholic families they would be appreciated but its not something people would be upset if you didn't send one, well that is my experience.

I'm not sure how much you would be expected to give as a donation for the mass, I know my dad used to give £5 which was an awful lot of money 50 years ago

piglet74

In Ireland you can buy mass cards in some shops, or some people sell them obo a religious order, my own granny actually does this, they are £1.50

They are sent to Catholics, and a mass will be said for the deceased.

You dont have to be R.C to buy or send them, and great comfort can come from them.

splishsplash

Mass cards are pretty standard here in Ireland. You can ask the priest to sign one or get one pre-signed in shops. They note the name of the deceased and a mass will be offered for their souls (one mass will cover several souls, I think). There is a small fee for buying a mass card or getting a priest to sign one. Prices vary according to where you are.

Nothing wrong with a sympathy card though. I'm sure no-one would expect you to get a mass card if you're not catholic.