Worried about lodger's health

JuneAB

Nothing you do or say could help her unless she wants to change. I think that is the bottom line.

Unless you are friends then (and I mean this in a nice way) it is not your business unless it effects you directly (leaving food out for example).

You mentioned that she works late shifts and you are in bed when she gets in, is she worried of disturbing you by cooking late at night? You could mention how quiet she is, or how you never hear anyone rattling round the kitchen. Or maybe she gets in and is too tired to cook. As someone said, you could say 'I made too much dinner, I left you some in the kitchen'.

If she does want to change then maybe she feels it's such a big challenge she doesn't know where to start.

As for not going out, again it is her decision but if she is so unhealthy and unfit and going out is a chore then that will cause her to stay in and (comfort?) eat, and so on and so on. Also the clothes, maybe she's too embarrassed to go shopping, or can't afford new clothes especially if you say she's got bigger since moving in and all those takeaways can't come cheap!

Homeownertobe

pigpen wrote: »

who gives a flying frog what the neighbours think? Mine have a wheelie bin full of vodka bottles and beer cans every week.. its sod all to do with me (their bin has no lid I can see in it whether I want to or not.) so long as they are not causing a nuisance.

On what grounds? If they have a proper tenancy agreement you need a reason to evict someone.. I don't believe physical appearance is one of them.. unless they live in the Playboy mansion.

I would guess that if the OP is of normal proportions and the tenant is the size of a small planet it is quite clear who is scarfing the junk food.

It's that sort of person that lowers the tone for everyone else.

And lodgers don't have rights - you can chuck them out without a reason.;)

Person_one

Southernman wrote: »

I'm just going to keep quiet. As a female to another female I thought I could do a little more as I have similar insecurities to her no doubt.

You've picked an interesting username for a 'female'.

Izzy8484

This is why I will never ever live with a live-in landlord again. They are the most interfering people.

Leaving pasta bake on the bench for all that time is totally gross, I agree, however, the other stuff is absolutely none of your business however bad it is for the girl in question. If you told me what to eat and how to live, I'd move out pronto.

LittleOne

In my experience you can't help someone change unless they really want to.


No matter how much you try to help, support and offer advice, it will go in one ear and out the other unless they really want to change. It seems that people have a 'lightbulb' moment one day that triggers the change.


Unfortunately some people don't realise the real damage their doing to themselves until it's too late, despite the warnings.

Southernman

Person_one wrote: »

You've picked an interesting username for a 'female'.

I like the Neil Young song!

mattyprice4004

Kirsty_A wrote: »

In my experience you can't help someone change unless they really want to.


No matter how much you try to help, support and offer advice, it will go in one ear and out the other unless they really want to change. It seems that people have a 'lightbulb' moment one day that triggers the change.


Unfortunately some people don't realise the real damage their doing to themselves until it's too late, despite the warnings.

Very true, I've had people tell me for years.
Then last year I just decided to change it, and I've since lost 6 stone.

Telling her will probably do nothing