Worried about lodger's health

thorsoak

I read the first post and wondered, Southernman ....are you married to Bluelass??

TBagpuss

As her landlord it's not your place to try to police her diet or lifestyle.

You can address things which affect you personally.

So, you can tell her that you do not want to have food sitting out on the counter, and that she needs to cover it and put t in the fridge (ensure that you have given her enough space in the fridge to do this)

You can tell her that you don't want her to smoke in the house.

You can, if you wish, invite her to eat with you if you happen to be home at the same time, you can invite her to go with you if you are going to a walk etc.

I have no doubt at all that she knows she is overweight, she knows her diet is not good, she knows that smoking is bad for her. Ultimately she is the only person who can change any of those things. If you are non-judgemental about her lifestyle then she may feel more able to talk to you, or ask you for your advice if and when she wants any support in making changes. Until then, mind your own business.

Mojisola

TBagpuss wrote: »

As her landlord it's not your place to try to police her diet or lifestyle.

You can address things which affect you personally.

And 'professionally' as a landlord. This is a business arrangement. You have the option of giving her notice to leave.

Pollycat

Mojisola wrote: »

And 'professionally' as a landlord. This is a business arrangement. You have the option of giving her notice to leave.

A far nicer way of saying it than this:

Homeownertobe wrote: »

I'd chuck her out. I wouldn't be having the neighbours thinking I inhale takeaways five nights a week!

Kynthia

You are not her friend or her family. You've gently mentioned things and had no indication she wants your help or advice. So keep your relationship to what it's supposed to be, providing accommodation, and stay out of it. Otherwise you are interfering in an area of her life you have no right to do so and will upset her.

moneyistooshorttomention

Some people are just set on "self destruct mode". She is obviously one of them.

I agree though, that as her landlord, it is not your place to try and help her "see the error of her ways" and you can't say anything to her about it.

The "people" entitled to complain about someone's self-destructive habits are those that have to pick up the health consequences (eg the NHS).

But - in your position as landlord your concern is at exactly the same level as any other taxpayer anticipating she is going to cost our NHS money from the self-inflicted illness her lifestyle will probably cause her to have at some point. Us taxpayers generally don't get a vote on other people's self-destructive habits so...you can't say anything under that "heading" either.

pigpen

Homeownertobe wrote: »

I'd chuck her out. I wouldn't be having the neighbours thinking I inhale takeaways five nights a week!

who gives a flying frog what the neighbours think? Mine have a wheelie bin full of vodka bottles and beer cans every week.. its sod all to do with me (their bin has no lid I can see in it whether I want to or not.) so long as they are not causing a nuisance.

On what grounds? If they have a proper tenancy agreement you need a reason to evict someone.. I don't believe physical appearance is one of them.. unless they live in the Playboy mansion.

I would guess that if the OP is of normal proportions and the tenant is the size of a small planet it is quite clear who is scarfing the junk food.

Mojisola

pigpen wrote: »

On what grounds? If they have a proper tenancy agreement you need a reason to evict someone.. I don't believe physical appearance is one of them.. unless they live in the Playboy mansion.

A LL doesn't need any reason to ask a lodger to leave.

I don't think a tenant has to be given a reason, either - the LL just needs to comply with all the laws relating to the agreement.

Dill

Southernman wrote: »

No she's not a family member. She rarely used the kitchen so that is in our favour! Usually just the occasional pot noodle or the microwave for pop corn that sort of thing.

As much as I want to help her broaching the subject gentley is difficult. Plus I don't want to upset her either!

Also someone mentioned that I know a lot about her. That's because I live with her and we talk! It's also difficult not to notice the empty pizza boxes in the recycle bin.

Maybe she is a bit shy about using the kitchen to cook, when it's someone else's house? Perhaps she's getting take-aways so that she doesn't 'hog' the kitchen?

Southernman

thorsoak wrote: »

I read the first post and wondered, Southernman ....are you married to Bluelass??

I'm just going to keep quiet. As a female to another female I thought I could do a little more as I have similar insecurities to her no doubt.