Worried about lodger's health

Southernman

Maybe I'm in the wrong to be concerned so please tell me if it's absolutely none of my business.

My lodger is quite a large lady. She is the same age as me (27) and eats evening take away 5 nights a week. I know she regularly has subway/McDonalds for lunch too.

When she does cook she makes a pasta bake/lasagna but doesn't put it in the fridge. She leaves it on the side for 7 days as it slowly gets eaten. I've suggested putting it in the fridge but she declares it to be fine. She also cooks the mince after it has been defrosting for 2 days and looks brown and 'off'. I'm sure it can't be good for you.

I've subtly suggested how useful it is to cook nutritious meals in batch then freeze them. She said she would but her freezer drawer is too full of frozen veg. Veg I've never seen her cook.

She also drinks so much pop it's unreal.

She has admitted to having high blood pressure, something all her family suffer from and she is also regularly Ill which I think her diet is a contributing factor.

I actually think she has put on weight since she left her mum's home and moved into our spare bedroom. Her clothes are quite holey and struggle to cover body parts.

I know it's a lifestyle choice but at the rate she's going her health is going to decline. If you were looking out for someone would you say anything? How can you broach this subject? Would you even bother?

She is a member of a gym but has been 3 times (she gets free membership with work so no financial loss for not attending). She also suffers from asthma and has an inhaler but smokes.

She is not very active in general, on days off rarely leaves the bedroom and rarely goes out as visiting family is a chore.

She's a nice girl but it's such a shock to see someone do this to her body and I'm worried about the long term effects. Again maybe I shouldn't be sticking my nose in but I'm a little concerned for her wellbeing. What would readers do (if anything)?

I go to the gym 4 times a week and rarely have take always. Much preferring home cooked food with veg. We can't eat together as she works late shifts and gets home when I'm going to bed

McKneff

Do absolutely nothing apart form helping her if she asks for some.

pigpen

Nothing.. shes a grown woman.. and won't appreciate your interference.

if shes not made herself ill with her food storage habits she is unlikely to now.. and brown mince is perfectly fine.. shiny and green is not. You're not eating it though so its not any of your business like you said!

kloana

I'd be concerned for the reasons you state, but I wouldn't actually say or do anything.

In all likelihood, she'll be very aware of the problems she's causing herself.

If and when she wants to, she can and will turn it around.

My sister is a similar age and lived a similar lifestyle...we always chided her as a family, but nothing ever changed, so it just became part of who she is. Then one day, a lightbulb went off in her head (long after we'd given up on 'advising' her) and she threw herself into diet and exercise. 18 months later, she's still on track, and has lost so much weight it's unreal. She's now a much healthier size 16 (she was a size 26), and professes that she would never go back to her old ways.

Primrose

Quite apart from concerns about her health, in your shoes I'd also be worried about one day having a corpse on my hands in my own house which let's face it, nobody would want the shock of having to deal with, if she continues to mistreat herself like that.

Your lodger sounds as if she has nobody really to emotionally support or encourage her to change her ways.

I'd be very tempted to be blunt with her, say you know it's none of your business but you're concerned about the way she's treating herself and as it's your home you have this niggling worry going on in the background all the time that she is wrecking her health and could make herself seriously ill so would she please value herself and her health a little more to save your anxiety, as you couldn't t cope with that situation.

Could you get her to go for the odd walk with you to get her into an exercising frame of mind? Or otherwise encourage her to eat with you occasionally and show her what a healthy meal is like ?

Difficult dilemma. Of course she's a grown adult but if she's living under your roof it's also hard, if you're a caring human being not to be a little concerned about her self damaging lifestyle. It might be just the wake-up call she needs if somebody starts encouraging her to value herself more highly. It certainly doesn't sound as if she has much going for her at the moment.

BrassicWoman

Fat people know they are fat

Smokers know it is unhealthy

Unless you are also certain she is stupid, stay out of it

BobQ

As has been said it is not your business, although it might become your business if something happens to her. Also when you find the bed and sofa need replacing due to her obesity.

I suppose you could raise the issue with her by saying you are going on a diet......

onlyroz

I'd be concerned about her food storage habits, and I'd be tempted to clear her out a shelf in the fridge and just put her pasta bakes away regardless of whether she says it's fine. However, I don't think it's your place to comment on her diet.

oystercatcher

Maybe see if you can find some leaflets on food storage and food poisioning. if she makes herself ill this could be transferred to you if you are sharing kitchen and / or bathroom.

Re the obesity , exercise, healthy diet issues, mind your own buisness. She can only deal with this if and when she is ready same as a smoker , drinker, addict etc. Any negative comments will either be ignored or make her angry or destroy a fragile self worth. She will be perfectly aware what size clothes she needs to buy .

kloana

Primrose wrote: »

I'd be very tempted to be blunt with her

So would I, if she was a friend. Or if there was a preexisting relationship of some sort. He is, in effect, her landlord. Not sure I'd want 'advice' from that kind of relationship...although anything that affects the cleanliness, orderliness or hygiene of the home is fair game, in my opinion

Person_one

Primrose wrote: »

Quite apart from concerns about her health, in your shoes I'd also be worried about one day having a corpse on my hands in my own house which let's face it, nobody would want the shock of having to deal with, if she continues to mistreat herself like that.

Oh for crying out loud! Unless she chokes on one of her pasta bakes I think the chances are pretty slim.