Defying Contact Order

scaredofdebt

Hi,

I will post the basics as the whole sorry affair is too complex to post in less than a thousand words.

Basically, I have a joint residency order with my 2 children, they stay with me (and my new wife and her children) alternate weekends.

My ex has met a new boyfriend and now wants to change the weekends the children visit me, but I don't want to do this and neither do the children as it means they won't see their step-siblings as much. She has told me that the children won't be at home when I am due to pick them up and to come the following week instead!

What are my options here if any and what costs are likely to be incurred? I self represented at the initial hearings.

Thanks for any advice.

TBagpuss

You can apply to enforce the order, she can apply to vary it.
It is possible for a judge to impose financial penalties or to make costs orders, however, may judges will do so only as a last resort for someone who persistently breaks orders.

In this case, it may be better to try to negotiate with her - arrangements do often change over time as one party or another has changes to their life - has your ex explained why she wants to make the change?
Did you try mediation last time? it may be worth suggesting that to see whether you can come to an agreement that you are all OK with.

scaredofdebt

She refused to attend mediation last time.

She refuses to negotiate, she is only interested in getting what she wants, the children have told her they don't want to swap weekends.

How much does it cost to enforce the order? She has broken the order before as a one off but not recently, the last time I can remember was about 3 years ago but as it was a one off we didn't pursue any action further.

The other issue is the order states contact on alternate weekends, it doesn't actually specificy which weekends but I have plenty of evidence that show which weekends they have been over the past few years.

Thanks for your advice.

LilElvis

I'm guessing that at the moment the weekend you have your children at the moment coincides with when your wife's children are with you and the change to the dates would mean that the step-siblings would be with their father. If this is the case could your wife ask her ex to change his access weekends so that they coincide again? Hopefully he is more amenable than your ex.

scaredofdebt

He can't do that easily as he is self-employed and works alternate Saturdays, to change would mean changing his entire diary which isn't simple and may result in him losing business.

But your assumptions are correct.

I am also not inclined to go down this route as it will teach her she can get her own way and do whatever she likes in future, the order will not give us the certainty that it is supposed to provide.

Thanks for the advice.

duchy

If your order says alternate weekends and alternate weekends is what you are getting then I can't see a court changing anything.

If the kids nagging her isn't working then sounds like you are stuck with the new plan.

The point of a contact order is to ensure contact between parent and child- step siblings aren't usually a contact criteria. So long as the contact is maintained as alternate weekends then she isn't breeching the order- no matter how annoying that may be.

FBaby

What exactly is the reason for her wanting to change her week-end? He works alternate week-ends and so she wants the children to come to you then so that she and he can do what?

As you've said, she is not breaching the court order at the moment, so is not doing anything wrong. If she went to court, I expect it would come down to the individual reason for wanting that particular week-end. How old are the children?

Guest101

How old are the children?

rpc

How old the kids are really matters - there comes a time when parents lose a lot of the right to make choices for them.

But in terms of "defying" the contact order then if it stipulated alternate weekends without being specific and what your ex wants to do is swap the two weekends around then I don't think the order will be getting breached. Only if your access dropped below 1 weekend in two would it be a breach.

That doesn't make your ex right, but you may not be able to rely on the order to back you up (depending on the wording)

itsanne

Could you change when you pick up the children, eg Friday night rather than Saturday morning or after school on Friday rather than later, so there isn't the problem of them not being there when you'd normally collect them?

duchy

itsanne wrote: »

Could you change when you pick up the children, eg Friday night rather than Saturday morning or after school on Friday rather than later, so there isn't the problem of them not being there when you'd normally collect them?

I doubt turning up unannounced and demanding to take the children after the PWC has told you the arrangements have changed would do anything except cause more conflict and further problems for the future.